u/Fit_Matter_2309

Hello everyone,

I have encountered some awful people on the gondolas and chair lifts at Jay Peak. Recently I was in the lift and I thought Id pass a little gas but something extra came out. This has happened before, so I initiated my process of removing my underpants To discard out the window of the gondola. I stood up to unzip my pants and they started screaming. There was a couple and another dude in the tram with me. They were killing my vibe. I told them to relax, I’m not a raper. I removed my underwear but the problem was it was mostly liquid so I didn’t get everything. The other dude In the lift was berating me while the couple was dramatically dry heaving. I disposed my underwear out of the window and immediately pulled out my Bowie knife and told everyone to shut the hell up and I was done with their drama. I enjoyed my ski down but the mountain staff kept following me. One got close to me but I hissed at him to get him away from me. I had to leave shortly after. I am disgusted with what Jay Peak has become.

Hello everyone,

I want to inform you of a very disturbing situation I found myself in at the end of last season. I was flying down a black diamond and hit a corner. I suffer from chronic dehydration so I cramped up and went flying off the huge fucking cliff. When I landed in the woods I found a human skull. I cleaned it off and put it in my backpack because I wanted to scare my buddy Terry with an actual human skull this time. When I climbed back up to the top of the cliff a frantic man was asking me if I found his skull. I simply said check underwear your hair pal, and skied away. He followed in pursuit so I immediately went full send straight down the mountain at maximum speed. I did accidentally stab an old woman with my ski pole. When I looked back she was bleeding out but it looked like it was under control. The man was catching me and I could hear bones rattling in his backpack. I got to the bottom, ordered a bud light and cracked him over the head with the glass bottle. I was driving home and ski patrol followed me to my house and put me in handcuffs for “assault”. They searched my bag and found the skull and are accusing me of killing a guy. How do I get out of this?