What’s up with the absurd levels of favoritism?
Does or has anyone here observed bizarre levels of favoritism towards a sibling or other family yet you’re treated like shit? I mean it’s been years but it’s been my whole life. My mom is currently buying my GC brother another house. He just got divorced and she’s immediately bought him a car & now a house. She would NEVER do that for me. My whole life my mom has been love bombing (heck sometimes it feels like grooming or something) my younger brother to absurd levels. All while she treats me the COMPLETE opposite. There was a while when we (my brother & I) were living just with my dad growing up. I basically took over as his mother figure and took care of him. It was after our parents got divorced and we lived with my alcoholic dad that was always disappearing. There were years that she was barely part of our lives. I literally did all kinds of stuff to make sure me and my brother ate and got by. I even was dating an older guy when I was a teen and he helped me & my brother financially a lot as well. During that time period when my mom would happen to come around or visit she would buy all these things for my brother, take out to eat & throw money and then leave. She would be really nice to him and totally put me down and criticize everything about me. She’s always acted like she’s hated me. You’d think she’d have some respect for the amount I was there for my brother (her son!) … but nope.
Anyways as we got into adult years, the same thing. She would buy my brother apartments and give him money and everything & act like I was the worst thing ever. If she’s ever helped me with anything it would be so begrudgingly or straight up told no. She’s always nickel & dimed me, ect. When I had a boyfriend that beat me up so severely I almost died, she refused to help me. In fact she yelled at me and told me I better not think I was going to stay with her & her boyfriend. We stopped talking for a couple years after that. When we started talking again she was still super weird with me. Years later my mom needed a surgery & I was there for her & took care of her. I was young & so naively thought that maybe she would finally love me. Man was I wrong. A couple other minor female surgeries she had to have & a hysterectomy I also took care of her. She was still … let’s just say not nice to me.
I’ve noticed over the years that she does not care about anything good I’ve ever done. She criticizes me and even tries to make me out to be this person I simply am not. As I’ve gotten older and started defending myself it’s gotten worse. She even speaks differently to my brother. She can be in the middle of yelling at me & my brother comes around and she starts using this sing songy voice. At this point I’m so over it. I could write soo much more but I’ve already wrote a bunch.
I’m at the point between autoimmune disease, some permanent injuries from DV & PTSD that I’m unable to work & on disability. She still treats me like … well all I’ve said above. She still will not ever help me … which fine whatever. But it just sometimes enrages me when I see sometimes how much I’ve been there for her, my brother and other family members but when the tables are turned I could basically go f myself. All the times she’s complained to me about money or her life and I see the reality. All the times I’ve helped her when I had nothing & did it out of love. All the times I realize she could have helped me but didn’t. Not just monetarily, also just love or emotional support. It’s sooo in your face yet any time I’ve even brought it up I’ve been screamed at & told that it’s absolutely not true and there’s never been favoritism.
She has ‘NO IDEA what I’m talking about & why do I always have to be a problem’. My brother & other family members treat me weird too. She’s literally actually given him (GC brother) stuff right in front of me & whispered to him not to tell me. I feel like it’s extremely obvious & not sure why other family members act weird about it or towards me. Sometimes I can’t tell if they are all in denial, scared of her, or brain washed or what. I feel very hurt.
Obviously I have to keep fighting for everything I need to get accomplished in life. I got approved for disability & have to figure out where I’m going to live next, how & other stuff for my health. It’s just hard to try to be around family for the sake of my young niece & nephew, but honestly just feel like I want to just stop talking to everyone a lot. I’ve definitely backed off. Things feel super weird and I’ve definitely distanced myself after a bunch of arguments with my mom and everyone treating me differently. Sometimes it just feels so weird like the twilight zone or something. Also sometimes I just want to scream at all of them when I think of how much I’ve been there for everyone but when the tables are turned it’s like I just do not matter.
Thank you if anyone reads this. I’m sorry if I’m rambling or writing run on sentences. I was trying to keep this short & despite all I’ve wrote barely even explained it all. I’m just so tired, hurt & I don’t even know. I’ll never ever understand it all.