u/Fluid_Giraffes

I wish I could celebrate my 20th birthday without wishing you were a part of it too.
I remember on my birthday last year I returned your belongings and I genuinely felt so free and accepted the break up for what it was. Before we broke up a month before my birthday last year, you told me you’d take me to a place I’ve always wanted to go, and that thought still lingers.
You didn’t wish me hbd last year and when you came back for that one week in July, you told me “why would I” and that honestly should’ve opened my eyes up to see who you really are. Maybe that’s just my delusion, but I thought I meant a little more to you.
In a few days time, my birthday is coming up and I know not to expect anything from you, again.

a year has passed and im still stuck on what once was. i still find myself waiting around for you to come around and realise that we can give 'us' another shot, but our story was done before the book even closed. i lost your trust and showed you an undesirable side of me so i understand why you haven't tried reaching out again. i hate to admit that after all this time, i still want it to be you. i never realised how much i took you for granted in our relationship until you left; i miss your good morning/night texts, your presence, your kindness and consideration, your loyalty, and everything you were to me. now, I don't know who you are, and you don't know who i am either, and that part hurts. i used to know your routine, and the soft way you spoke to me but now i only know your coldness, and you only know my overbearing and insensitive self - i wish we could start again on a blank page. i still look for you in other people and get disappointed when i realise they're not you. i hope one day our paths can meet again when we're in a better place for each other but i know you don't hope for the same; you met someone new. i wonder if you ever wonder about me too. i miss you ***.

a year has passed and im still stuck on what once was. i still find myself waiting around for you to come around and realise that we can give 'us' another shot, but our story was done before the book even closed. i lost your trust and showed you an undesirable side of me so i understand why you haven't tried reaching out again. i hate to admit that after all this time, i still want it to be you. i never realised how much i took you for granted in our relationship until you left; i miss your good morning/night texts, your presence, your kindness and consideration, your loyalty, and everything you were to me. now, I don't know who you are, and you don't know who i am either, and that part hurts. i used to know your routine, and the soft way you spoke to me but now i only know your coldness, and you only know my overbearing and insensitive self - i wish we could start again on a blank page. i still look for you in other people and get disappointed when i realise they're not you. i hope one day our paths can meet again when we're in a better place for each other but i know you don't hope for the same; you met someone new. i wonder if you ever wonder about me too. i miss you ***.