u/FlyingMozerella

They’re naan-binary.

Happy Pride 😁

I (25F, 🏳️‍⚧️) feel that there’s no real hope for my future.

I’m trying to move out of the U.S. to Canada, and going to graduate school there is probably the most feasible option. That being said, I have absolutely no idea what I would want to study or even if I have what it takes to survive grad school (the intensive programs and work). There are other ways to get there (Canada) but honestly I don’t think they’re a match for me.

That’s stressful, of course, but even if I disregard that plan altogether, things still aren’t good. I have severe depression (and have had it for over a decade) and medication isn’t helping. I don’t have any friends. The only things that I enjoy are eating junk food and playing video games. I still live at home with my parents because I can’t afford rent anywhere, and I also got fired from my job a couple months ago because I took a 3 month leave (with a doctor’s note) for an intensive outpatient program, and they just sent me a letter in the mail about 2 months into the leave saying I was fired. My dad drives me batshit insane almost every day. He doesn’t believe in mental illness, says the solution to all my problems is “just exercise” (cool, I was having actively suicidal thoughts in high school when I was running track every day).

This is pretty much the exact same situation I was in 1 year ago today, so it doesn’t feel like it’s going to pass.

I’m so, so tired. I really don’t know why I have to keep existing when all it is is suffering.

…and words cannot describe how much this bugs me.