u/Former_Risk_2_self

I have some pretty severe OCD that revolves around phantom pain and gory images of things happening to my body. There are days where I just stay in bed not moving because I'm so aware of my arms and veins. I just want them removed sometimes. I wouldn't actually want to experience it. I think (even if I survived) the visual of my arms open like that would kill me. But I dream of not having a body. Like if I could just be a floating head with no limbs. That's my dream body at times. Right now I can't stop feeling my knees split open. Its torture and no matter how much therapy I have, it doesn't stop. I've been like this since i was a child.

I’m so mad at myself. I’ve never cut there until recently. As a teen, I cut my thighs and occasionally my arm but NEVER my wrist. I’m terrified about this. I have a severe phobia of wrists due to my OCD and it’s stopped me from even cutting there and now that I’ve gotten past that fear a few times, I’m scared this is the point of no return. The summer is coming and I want to swim but now I’m going to have huge dark scars. I wear short sleeves at my summer job and now I can’t. I ruined my life. It’s so big and scary. I told my mom because I thought I needed stitches and I am getting a lot of treatment but I still feel horrible

Weird question I know. I honestly get way too overwhelmed when trying to watch Marvel because theres just so many characters and plots. And I dont particularly care about most of them. I am a massive fan of Captain America in th comics and really liked his first movie. I only really care about his character and bucky. What movies are nessasary to understand his plots?