BWT how do you know when it's time to leave your job?

I am currently struggling with the above question and would love any guidance or anecdotes or strategies from you lovely bitches.

I'm in my first "big girl job" after finishing my PhD. I have zero motivation and I'm super demoralised generally, so I'm having trouble actually working or doing anything productive at all. Last year my small team lost two key members of our team and I ended up picking up a ton of their work and responsibilities. They were a grade higher than me, so a lot of the work I took over was above my pay grade, but I did it anyways with the expectation that I would get a promotion this January, placing me in their pay grade. I was rejected for the promotion, which my manager fully supported, because the higher ups in the company said I needed to be in my current role for two years before I can get promoted. I was never told this was a rule, and I know other people who are promoted into that level with less than 2 years experience with the company. Also, it would have been 2 full years as of January 10th, so I missed the "window" by less than a month. I couldn't get this rejection in writing because my company was bought by another company and the man who rejected the promotion left just a week later and couldn't give me written feedback about it.

The company I worked for had promotion cycles every six months, so my manager assured me that they will request a promotion for me then, in July. Welp, with the other company buying my company, they halted the promotion window and now I have to wait until January, a full year later, to get the promotion I've already earned for a job I already basically do. I'm in the most junior level

In my team and I regularly out perform my higher level co-workers.

I'm feeling bitter, angry, and like I'm being completely taken for granted. I'm making less money than everyone else on my team, while doing more and better work than them. My pride is wounded. I'm ambitious and I feel like I'm trapped here with no room to grow and I'm resentful.

It's also important to note that my visa to live in this country (Spain) is tied directly to my job. If I quit or was fired, I would either have to relocate back to the US (my home country), or desperately try to find a job in my field that will sponsor my visa and doesn't require fluent Spanish. In this economy, the job market is terrible and there really aren't a ton of options. No matter what, it would almost guarantee relocation and I do like my life here. My salary also pays all our bills, so without it my spouse and I would be in financial turmoil.

Am I being a big baby about this? I don't want my anger and resentment to ruin an otherwise good job that I enjoy. I don't want to displace my family and I don't want to have to worry about how I'm going to pay rent this month. Any advice or reflections on your own experiences would be welcomed.

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u/Foxy_Traine — 13 days ago
▲ 126 r/poisonai

People need to stop misgendering Lindsey Graham

Lindsey Graham was one of the only prominent lesbian republicans of our time and I hate that people misgender her! She might have had terrible policies, but she helped pave the way for other lesbians and transgender women in politics. Misgendering her just because you don't accept lesbians or because she didn't fit into your gender stereotype is cruel. We all need to do better and remember HER as the lesbian icon she is!

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u/Foxy_Traine — 1 month ago
▲ 65 r/GirlDinnerDiaries+1 crossposts

Certified man hater with an awesome spouse

Dinner plate featuring some special cheese my partner got me because I sad having a craving.

I'm a leftist feminist man hater. I do not want to spend my time, my energy, my body, catering to mediocre men anymore and I act accordingly. I think the vast majority (like 95%) are problematic at best, dangerous at worst, and I don't have the patience to deal with them. They get to live in their little privileged bubble, totally ignoring how they impact the people around them and contribute to upholding the patriarchy.

And, because of this, I ended up with the greatest spouse. I'm ruthless in cutting out men if they don't meet my standards, and he didn't even flinch. He's kind, compassionate to others, a vocally leftist feminist but not in a performative way, he's an advocate for others and always stands up for minorities. He's a big (6'3" and over 250lbs) white guy and he goes to the gym every day because he wants to be strong enough to literally fight fascists. He likes to be intimidating to other men so he can stand up for people, but wears pink and "femine" things and paints his nails because he likes it. He's so deeply secure in his masculinity that there's no toxic bs from him about anything.

He doesn't get defensive when I call him on his shit (we all have shit to work on), but grows and learns from it. When we have arguments, he doesn't yell or get angry, he works to understand my perspective. He is always kind to me, surprises me with nice things, and goes out of his way to make my days better. I don't like grocery shopping, so he does it all. I don't like cooking so he cooks for both of us. He does over half his share of the chores while working a more labour intensive job than me. He supported me and took care of me when I was ill for months and couldn't take care of myself, all with compassion and love. He moved to another country to be with me for my career, because he values my happiness and knew it was a good move for me. We're a team.

The best part? I'm free. Truly. I can do basically wherever I want, with whoever I want, and he just wants to see me happy and safe. I have an active social life and travel by myself and he does nothing but support me. Things like going to visit my (male) friend in another country by myself, he has no issue with it. He sees me as a full independent person in every way and never, ever, tries to control what I do. Being with him feels like all the best parts of a relationship and all the best parts of being single at the same time!

I didn't settle and I'm very glad I didn't. I'd rather be alone than with someone who didn't treat me this well, and I wish more women on this sub would raise their standards.

u/Foxy_Traine — 2 months ago

I hate when my husband leaves for work and idk if it's related to autism

I work a 9-5, mostly from home office. My spouse does shift work so comes and goes at all hours. When he leaves for work I find it extremely disruptive and honestly annoying. I have to stop whatever he's doing and get up, stand by the door, give him a hug and a kiss before he leave. (I say "have to" but I do love him and want to do this before he leaves for work!) He has a tenancy to take a while preparing to leave, and the whole time I'm painfully aware that he's about to leave at some point, but I'm not sure exactly when, and I'll need to stop whatever I'm doing to say goodbye to him. If I need to pee, I hold it until he leaves. If I'm eating, I stop and wait. He's putting on his shoes, gathering his things, looking for his keys/wallet/phone, getting the trash to take out, whatever it is he does, and I find the whole process so disruptive and annoying!

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So I'm wondering, is this potentially related to autism? Could that explain why I dislike this whole process so much?

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Any ideas on how to make it less bothersome?

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u/Foxy_Traine — 2 months ago