u/FreckledCackler

In a bit of a rut professionally, and personally. But at the end of the day, continue to be grateful to be CF and to even now know that term, for so long I had labeled myself childless and it was disempowering.

Have seen some things recently including a father unable to build in a 20 minute walk to his commute to get to a train, followed by a 10 minute walk to office, so is forced to drive. I don't blame him at all, but his life is so different from mine - I can't fathom not being able to build in 30 minutes of walking into one way of a commute.

Saw a joke about a parent eyeing their kid's uneaten food at the same time as the dog eyed the same scraps and had a flashback to years of babysitting as a teen where I'd be absolutely feral devouring leftover mac & cheese etc after kids went to bed. I was so dysregulated and had no clue 😂

One of the things I'm on the struggle bus with is setting new boundaries with parent friends who only know me as a people pleaser. I made major charges 4.5 years ago (sobriety, and later becoming plant based) but some of the growth has only really taken root in recent years and they've been too consumed to know the difference. I've gotta take responsibility for my part in the foundation of the relationships and am avoiding it for now. One day. Still, their chaos, anxiety, discontent is unfortunate and makes me so eternally grateful to be free.

Just some rambles and gratitude this morning. I've got alot of work to do, alot of community to build, but I'll get there one day at a time. And every one of those days being CF makes it easier to work on me.

I used to really excel at, what I thought was, networking. Some of it was/is genuine, but the people pleasing/charm tactics were really where/why I thrived. I feel so much less motivation to network in professional environments. And I'm worried I'll lose my edge in interviews and at work. How have you navigated this?

Showered early, cleaned the bathtub, now listening to the birds. Will eat something soon. What's your routine?

I've contemplated sleeping later and just waiting hours to eat/caffeine at work, but feel like that's asking for trouble with a) low blood sugar and b) having to poop at work. I prefer handling my morning business at home if possible, which is slower to happen because of said iron. So I get up super early to do this routine.

Anyway, good morning from the time between. Silver linings are I realize I can be just fine without coffee first thing and I have made time for meditation, chores, etc. I guess if my commute or routine needs to change, I'll have to reassess. All things considered, I'm extremely lucky this is the main thing I'm currently navigating health wise, but damn sometimes I miss rolling out of bed and having a lazy cup of java. Maybe I'll treat myself this weekend and skip the iron supplement on the day it falls or iron-rich breakfast first thing (on alternating days).