is it normal to feel somewhat confused about gender in your teens?
i'm an afab teen and everyone in my life knows me as a lesbian girl, but i don't feel like that label fits me at all sometimes. since i was little i've never liked dresses, makeup, other stereotypically feminine ways of presenting. i always wear baggy jeans, oversized t shirts, etc.
the thing is, i don't want to be a guy exactly. i've considered before that i might be trans but i don't feel like a boy as much as i just don't feel like a girl. if i had to describe the person i most want to be as an adult it's like a 60 year old man who was probably a metrosexual when he was younger and lives alone with several cats and an extensive collection of art house films on dvd. idk is that weird??? did anyone else have a similar phase as a teen??? am i cursed and unlovable????
i feel like the answer is maybe just "you're just a masc woman stop overreacting" but I DUNNO ANYMORE MANNN💔 i just want to be old and balding and have a beard and eat lots of tofu or whatever it is kyle maclachlan does all day
edit: i'm on a wild tangent here, but when i was in middle school i was going through a similar course of thinking for the first time and ended up telling my parents (who are both feminists and raised me to be as well) that i was genderfluid. really i was just, like, panic-reacting to the magical world of gender stereotypes that were pushed on me by society as soon as i got my period, but my mom especially didn't take it well.
she has a lot of trans friends and has always been an ally, but she told me recently that her internal reaction upon hearing "hey mom, i don't like girly stuff, i think i'm genderfluid + i want you to call me by a different name and pronouns" was anger?? her reasoning was basically "listen here you little shit, i have been out marching and making zines and going to riot grrrl shows for the past 3 decades just for you to throw it in my face by saying you don't want to be a girl anymore??????"
but at the same time that she and my dad have tried to raise my sister and i to be as progressive gender-wise as possible, it's not like we live in a magic feminist vaccuum. there's a whole world out there full of sexism and weird stereotypes and i don't think it's fair to basically tell your daughters to tough it out in the name of gloria steinem and kathleen hanna and fiona apple
ok cokerant over, happy scrolling y'all