u/FreedInnerChild

I am very uncomfortable naming my parts but to make things easier I will here. Please respect that this is not normal for me. I'm going to name the three that matter here:

Mara- I would have put her at 12 but my therapist thinks as low as 8. She was one of the first voices I could hear back when I "had" a schizophrenia Dx some 26 years ago. I now know through working with my therapist that Mara appeared sometime around when I was 12/13 and my trauma went through a significant change

Roan- the me that does therapy. Roan shares the brain with two others, the wife / mom one and the one who connects Roan to w/m

Mari- the me who interacts with unimportant outsiders, so basically everyone who isn't family or medical

quick context: it's been an overall hard year with lots of medical complications which has put my husband and kids under a lot of stress (our kids are adults but we share a home with two of them) It has always been Roan's role to take care of everything/everyone at home but Roan's been brat down by being so ill and family is not stepping up to support which is leaving her feel confused a hurt

at the beginning of this week Mari was out walking my dog with the dog trainer. This dog is fear reactive so we are working to help him learn to trust. Mari has been meeting the dog trainer weekly for several months now, so much so that Roan is starting to consider the dog trainer a friend.

I am 45 and my partner of 25 years is definitely my friend and my kids are now my friends but I've never had a friend friend. A real one. With another girl even. Never.

a situation happened and within minutes it was all ruined. Maybe friend ruined. In cognito safety ruined. Body injured by 3rd person. Trust in police ruined. Therapy progress ruined. Gone.

Roan (et compagny) and Mari are deep within their safety boxes

Mara is doing the being the person thing and it's not what's supposed to be happening

this me typing now I just do internet stuff and doomscrolling and emails and the likes. I think I'm probably always in the background but like... people jokes how they can sober up real quick if needed? (I don't drink so unsure how accurate) but I feel like that the closest to explain my perception of what I'm feeling

like Mara is doing the thing, but I'm in the hazy back in case she needs to sober up real quick, or I guess needing a legit adult although she does great at that, nobody unimportant has ever noticed Mara

but she's not very good at being Mari so just been lying to neighbours and saying uugh I've got a bad stomach bug well tall another time but I don't know how long a stomcmaxh bug can last as an excuse for parting ways fast

I think Mara is getting tired too, tired of being the person all the time

context: I have a partner of 25 years. We have four now adult child. Outside of my medical people, mental included, my partner and our kids are the only human interaction I've had in 25 years.

it's been a very rough ride for me and i isolated my family to protect them from the backlash and misplaced pity they'd receive by virtue of being the crazy lady's kids, that she sometimes unexplicably let them come to school today holy shit

yeah I was in a bad place for quite a long time

but recently things had settled and I felt a sense of Peace. I had even made a friend, my first friend in 25 years.

my bad

I messed it all up

so I'm back to hiding in my box in the sky where I am safely quietly by the same man who never said I'm too much, aaaaand I'm not leaving here ever again

just a vent, I supposed

I have a niece who's pre-adoption name was Judilee. (yes, with a 'd' and not Jubilee)

I have always thought it's a wonderful name that would have been absolutely fine here, especially since both Judy and Lee are normal names here

I find it melodic and fun to say

what other names do you guys know people with that are delightful? I know a lot of names in Africa are as full of joy as a name can get, but are there other places that name their children in similar names?

or just any non Latin/ Germanic names really, anything we don't usually see here, now is your time!

next week my therapist wants to start mapping my worlds (what I call my parts)

she said we will go very slowly and only start with my main me, and then the few I have awareness of the next session. She will then start telling me about my worlds I know nothing about. I have asked her to keep that information from me until I am ready

she thinks I am ready now. I trust her.

have others here done this? how did it go for you? were you able to cope through it and afterwards?

we have been working on stability for just over a year now and I'm at a good place for me. She will stop the moment she feels I am not handling it well

would love to hear from others

thanks all

I have heart problems, I have for decades. These last few months have been the hardest on my heart.

I keep being 911ed to the ER only to have everything be normal when I get there. It is never me making those calls. The most recent one happened while with my therapist. 911 called. She follows us to yhe hospital and sure enough, I'm all good once there.

I have a very specific trauma trigger that is related to heart electrodes. This is obviously problematic as I am often hooked to heart monitors. However once those electrodes are visible in the room, I switch.

My therapist, having witnessed this happen, now thinks my part that comes out at the sight of electrodes is not affected by my heart issue. She went as far as telling the hospital "I don't care if you believe this or not but I think this is what's happening"

is this legit? has anyone else experienced something like it? I've heard of it bit assumed it was more online bullshit?

are there any studies I could look up or anything?

thanks

I live in a small area, total population about 50k which includes several small towns, a small city, and farmland.

for me this disorder is experienced in terms of different worlds instead of different alters. It's all the same, that's just how I describe it for myself

these worlds can not coexist, when they do I turn useless

in my area I happen to be the parent who is the most experienced with gender care for children. I was able to work the system in ways other parents had not yet thought of and am now used as the example on how to get your child access to the proper care they need. I help other local parents navigate their side of the journey within our area itself instead of having to go to the specific provincial gender clinics which are all several hours away

I have never been very good at anything in my life but advocating and fighting for my child? I was ridiculously good at that, and that made "childhood-gender-care-world" a world I excel at unlike all the other worlds where I suck

therapy-world is a world that needs to stay super duper extra compartmentalized, I reckon you all understand why

my therapist is the latest parent who's child is entering the gender system. She is being incredibly ethical from every angle, but we both know this role reversal is a complicated thing because she knows damn well I will put any and every child's needs above mine, but that doesn't work when her job is to ensure I put myself first. I can not risk therapy-world and gender-world coming together. Those worlds are my two extremes, my most powerful and most vulnerable, and colliding them will break me

we are going to navigate this together, we'll figure it out

I was questioned here once on why I had posted what I posted. It was a similar thing. Sometimes I just need to get these thoughts out of my head. If I can store them in another world then my at-home world becomes quieter. Like a journal, I guess. Is that permitted here?

my brother just had a baby and they gave her a lovely name

however it is the name of the girl he had a crush on his entire little childhood, and she was his first kiss

I am no contact with that brother, I've never met his wife. I don't know if she knows about this girl from his childhood. They were kids, like elementary age.

Would this bother you?

my husband says it's nothing. I lean towards nothing also but still it's kinda... silly? idk

interested to hear what others have to say

I want to be very clear they were literal kids

I have a flock of 🦜 parrots and their names all start with P.

it is very important to us that sounds repeat as little as possible, and not at all in nicknames. In order, we have:

Porter : female green cheek conure, queen boss

Paula : feel hood sprite of perfection

Panjuma : bodyguard

Patrick : all eyes on flock, always

RIP to Paladin, keeper of peace, and PokPok, live hard, lived well.

so now there's a newbie to the flock. Everything in my screens P name, but... but does he deserve more?

what say yous, fellow name devotes?

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here to spread the word that a moderator in one of the FB groups is purposely deleting comments from Canadians who have been volunteering their time helping you all locate your documents here, and then handing out 24 hour bans like candy.

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if you are in Kim Taylor's group, she's keeping us quiet when she doesn't like what we say. Information is being held from you

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be safe out there and good luck!

I see a lot of similar names suggested in this sub often but Ardeth has yet to come up

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It is a name, yes, and I find it quite beautiful

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unfortunately my only knowledge of the name comes from Ardeth Woods. I won't say why but you can look her up.

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I am long done having kids but for years now I've wondered why Ardeth has never come up. I hadn't asked out of respect for Ms Woods but enough time has passed that I felt ok with it now

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So overall how do we feel about the name Ardeth?

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does anyone else love it as much as I do?

are there names you struggle with due to your particular accent?

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the most famous example would be Aurora which I personally don't have a problem with, however the name Raleigh is impossible to me, I can't get my muscles to form the proper "ral" sound at all.

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I have a French mouth. That might sound silly but our muscle structures are very defined by the languages we speak, and my French mouth just can't handle that "ral" in Raleigh

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are there names you aren't able to pronounce properly no matter how hard you try? did you struggle with names from other languages?

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(I'm thinking Manon is a hard one for English people if not exposed to it early on. Mathieu is another big one))

I have a daughter named Tess and we are used to using Tess' (some do use Tess's as in Tess's crayon)

I was just thinking if there is a group of people named Tess, and collectively they have a thing, how would that be written out?

Are there other names that have similar issues?

I have two people who have ridiculously good lyrical memory and I have them both stumped. Even the chat bots have failed me on this one.

The song is one that comes up often on our years long playlist. We generally listen to folk style music. The song is slower, sort of like a ballad.

I think the line is "..... like June Carter Cash", it's near the end, the line is emphasized. However it may only be "..... Carter Cash" but the Carter Cash is for sure there.

My mind keeps jumping back to both The Counting Crows and Kenny Rogers, but neither seem to be the right artist.

It is absolutely driving me bonkers and it is nearly impossible to sort through all the google results of actual JCC songs

how are other handlers dealing with the public asking to pet their dog?

I live on a town with a college full of international students. A lot of these students have never touched a dog. For a lot of them they've only ever known feral dogs. It is always an honour when they work past their fear and ask to pet my dog. In these situations I allow it. These are powerful moments for these students.

I also live across the street from a home for mental disabled adults. The bus stop is right there so I am often there when the residents are in their yard. I let them interact with my dog.

everyone else gets told no, she is working right now

my dog has been my SD for t years and is very well known in our town so the vast majority of people know to stay away

how do you guys deal with the public? do you allow anyone to interact and touch your dog?

hoping you can point me in the right direction

my husband and I have been married for 25 years. Our daughter recently got married and moves to San Francisco to be with her husband.

as a young offender my husband was charged with 5× armed bank robbery and all the associated charges. He was given a lifetime gun ordinance.

We are hoping that since he was a young offender we can get that part dealt with but not sure about the gun thing.

Our daughter has moved 6000km away and my husband is not able to cross the border to go visit his child. It's very sad.

I don't know the first thing about trying to get his record cleared. I do know that our son-in-law has a high security clearance that included a deep dive into his new wife's family, and it got approved. Not sure if that would help my husband's case at all?

anyways, hoping someone can point me in the right direction of who we should be talking to to see if it's even possible

thanks guys :)

my husband and I have been married for 25 years. Our daughter recently got married and moves to San Francisco to be with her husband.

as a young offender my husband was charged with 5× armed bank robbery and all the associated charges. He was given a lifetime gun ordinance.

We are hoping that since he was a young offender we can get that part dealt with but not sure about the gun thing.

Our daughter has moved 6000km away and my husband is not able to cross the border to go visit his child. It's very sad.

I don't know the first thing about trying to get his record cleared. I do know that our son-in-law has a high security clearance that included a deep dive into his new wife's family, and it got approved. Not sure if that would help my husband's case at all?

anyways, hoping someone can point me in the right direction of who we should be talking to to see if it's even possible

thanks guys :)