u/Frequent_Neat5407

Went to a family gathering recently, and after our toddler had been playing with other toddlers and sharing toys like toddlers do, I noticed two of the children had full-body rashes. I asked the parent what was going on and was told they had both had fevers for a couple of days that had just broken the day before and then the rash appeared.

At that point we kept our little one away from them and sanitized her hands, but I immediately had a bad feeling. Before the gathering even ended, one of the kids spiked another fever.

The next day I heard one of the children had been taken to the ER because of their eye swelling , so I asked what they were diagnosed with. I never really got a clear answer and was eventually told it was “just an allergic reaction.” That didn’t sit right with me considering they had a fever first.

A couple of days later our toddler developed a fever, followed by a rash. She ended up being diagnosed with hand, foot, and mouth disease.

Maybe I’m overreacting, but if your child has had a fever for days and suddenly develops a rash, why bring them around other children before you know what’s going on? And if you’re told it’s an allergic reaction, how does that explain the fever?

I’m mostly frustrated because this whole thing could have been avoided.

They sent their toddlers to daycare like that too and they were sent home.

Sometimes it’s hard to believe this is the person who raised me.

Watching them with my granddaughter has made me realize this isn’t really about hugs and kisses. It’s about boundaries. Or maybe the belief that children aren’t allowed to have any.

When I ask my granddaughter for a hug or kiss goodbye and she says, “I no wanna kiss,” I just say, “Okay, you don’t have to. I love you, and I’ll see you later.” Sometimes she’ll come running to get a hug or kiss when I walk away.

When my parent asks and gets the same answer, they don’t respect it. They grab her anyway. My granddaughter is crying, flailing, trying to get away, and they still force a kiss on her cheek. Even if one of her parents says, “She’s not in the mood,” the response is, “I just wanted a kiss.”

But…the child didn’t.

And that’s what matters.

This isn’t the first time either. If my granddaughter is crying because she doesn’t want my parent in her space, instead of backing off, they stay right in her face talking to her, trying to get her attention, trying to get her to interact. The baby is literally crying and clinging to her parent because she wants space, yet they just keep going. Then they get upset because she isn’t responding the way they want her to.

Another time, my parent picked her up, and she immediately started screaming and crying for one of her parents. Instead of handing her back, they carried her to distant relatives to show her off while she cried the entire time.

And if I step in? Because obviously her parent, my child doesn’t, suddenly I’m the bad guy.
If protecting my granddaughter’s boundaries makes me the enemy, then so be it. I honestly don’t care. I’d rather hurt an adult’s feelings than teach my granddaughter that adults are allowed to ignore her when she says no.

It isn’t just my granddaughter, either.

I was babysitting my one-year-old niece one day. She was clearly upset and didn’t want to interact with anyone. My parent kept trying to get her to say hi. When she didn’t, they got irritated and said, “Oh, they know what they’re doing. They’re too smart not to know. They know how to speak back.”

I finally said, “I’m not going to let you get mad at a one-year-old who’s obviously upset because she won’t say hi. You can leave my house.”

The older I get, the more things I remember.
I remember coming home from school as a teenager one day. I was tired, probably hormonal, probably just wanted to be left alone. I said I didn’t feel like talking, and I got smacked.

Looking back, I can’t help but wonder if this is just how they see children. That children owe adults affection, attention, conversation, and obedience no matter how they’re feeling.
Maybe it’s generational.

I didn’t raise my kids that way.

Kids are people. They have bad days. They get overwhelmed. They don’t always want to be touched. They don’t always feel like talking. And that should be okay.

I just don’t understand why some adults take it so personally when a child has boundaries. Why is an adult’s desire for a hug, kiss, or attention more important than what the child is clearly communicating?

To me, teaching a child that their “no” matters is one of the most important things you can do. I refuse to teach my granddaughter that she has to ignore her own feelings just to keep an adult happy.

Am I the only one who doesn’t understand parents who let their toddlers roam around without keeping an eye on them?

Every family get-together, one of my relatives lets their 2-year-old run ragged. Today he was climbing all over the food table, bothering family members we had literally just met that day, and messing with an item someone had sitting on the table. He actually broke it. The toddlers parent nor his uncle (who is a big part of his life) was concerned. Not to mention, there was a parking lot right next to where we were sitting and he was just running all over the place without any one of them on his heels. I can’t tell you how many times I have had to tell either of them to grab the toddler before they hurt themselves at every family get together.

At one point today I told the his uncle to grab him, and he said, “It’s not like he’s around strangers.” But…he actually was around people we didn’t really know. Some of the family we never met before. And even if we did know them, why does that mean you stop supervising him. You cannot assume that the other adults that are there are looking after the him when they are occupied doing their own thing. Plus the child is not their responsibility.

What surprises me even more is that the toddler doesn’t really communicate yet. I’ve never heard him talk. He mostly cries or whines, so he can’t tell anyone if he’s hurt, scared, or needs something. To me, that’s even more reason to keep a close eye on him.

Maybe I’m overly cautious, but my granddaughter is the same age, and I’m constantly checking to see where she is, even if she’s with her dad or another close family member. It isn’t about not trusting anyone—it’s about knowing how quickly toddlers can get into trouble.

I raised four sons and I would have never done anything like this. Of course this was many moons ago so maybe I am overthinking this, or does anyone else find this kind of hands-off parenting concerning? I’m so afraid that the child is going to be hurt one day. I can’t imagine what goes on when they are in the privacy of their home.

I can’t believe how inconsiderate people are to night-shift workers. My family member just asked me to babysit like she doesn’t know I work nights. The last time she asked I told her that while she is asleep at night, I am working. Plan better. What does she think I do during the day, regenerate energy? I ignored her.

Mom intentionally quit her job and told domestics that she couldn’t work due to their 50/50 custody schedule which is 2 days a week and every other weekend, no biggie. Dad can work, but she can’t? Well domestics said nope and they continued to use the rate she would have been earning. Months later she filed for an increase claiming the baby was growing and that dad wanted to put the baby in daycare. He mentioned it but what did that have to do with their child support? They asked her if the baby was in daycare and she said no. The support was slightly decreased. Mom still wasn’t working and had not worked in over a year and then one day dad’s brother’s and other family members notice her at their job. She is now an employee and dad knows she’s making good money. Dad works at the same job but different location. Dad files for a decrease. Today the child support was decreased significantly. Now he’ll be fighting to get it terminated which he knows will be hard but worth it. There is hope!