u/FrequentlyObtuse

One of the members of the droid community surprised me by creating illustrations of all of my custom astromechs, and I honestly couldn’t stop smiling when I saw it.

When I built my first custom droid, I never imagined I’d eventually have a whole lineup with their own personalities, names, and backstories. It’s been one of the most rewarding creative hobbies I’ve ever had, and seeing someone take the time to draw all of them is incredibly humbling.

I just wanted to share it here because I figured other builders would appreciate how much something like this means.

Huge thanks to @droid.directory on Instagram** **for taking the time to create this. It absolutely made my week.

And… I may not be finished building just yet. 🙂

Law & Order - G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero Figure - (1987)

Law & Order were introduced in G.I. JOE: THE MOVIE in 1987. To me, this was the logical progression of the handler/dog team - Mutt & Junkyard were the wild cards, Snake Eyes & Timber were the silent stalkers, and Law & Order were the defensive unit.

From his file card:

"You don't want to mess with him and that dog of his. Chew your leg right off, he will. After that, you still have to deal with the dog!"

Falcon - G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero Figure - (1987)

Face it, in your head, he always sounded like Don Johnson.

And, honestly, after all these years, I’m surprised that the antenna hasn’t broken off his backpack especially since I have memories of “zip-lining” him across the room on a piece of string by that antenna.

Do you think they’re still any good? 😆

Croc Master - G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero Figure - (1987)

It always fascinated me that Cobra Island had a canal network infested with crocodiles, and this guy was in charge of them. And, he was a former alligator wrestler and burglar alarm salesman.

I think, at the time, his croc was the largest pet sidekick/accessory in the Joe line.

My daughter gave me a handmade G.I. Joe “PSA” card for Father’s Day! I originally posted this on r/GIJoe, but it wouldn’t let me cross post it here.

She came up with the idea and drew it herself! She said she put the logo on the back of the card because the PSAs all ended with the logo.

Came up with the idea and drew it herself! She said she put the logo on the back of the card because the PSAs all ended with the logo.

Cobra-La: Royal Guard - G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero Figure - (1987)

The Royal Guard was part of the “Cobra-La Team” set, featuring three new characters from “G.I. Joe: The Movie.”

The set included Golobulus, Nemesis Enforcer, and Royal Guard.

I like how his battle axe vaguely resembles the silhouette of a marlin or a swordfish. It’s a nice nod to the organic look of the Cobra-La technology.

From his file card:

Bred and surgically enhanced for size, strength and endurance, the royal guards of Cobra-La are responsible for the personal protection of Golobulus, supreme ruler of the hidden valley and last descendant of the serpent kings. Encased from head to foot in organic insectoid armor, Cobra-La are impervious to any ordnance up to a High-Explosive-Anti-Tank round. Although formidable in battle, the guards tend to be tactically unimaginative and are relatively useless without close supervision.

"There was an attempted coup in Cobra-La around the time when the Emperor Hadrian was building his wall. Five hundred irate noblemen stormed the inner sanctum of Golobulus' summer palace and were confronted by just twenty guards. Golobulus slept through the entire incident. One guard was slightly wounded. Of the five hundred noblemen, there were no survivors."

Cobra-La: Nemesis Enforcer - G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero Figure - (1987)

Nemesis Enforcer was part of the “Cobra-La Team” set, featuring three new characters from “G.I. Joe: The Movie.”

The set included Golobulus, Nemesis Enforcer, and Royal Guard.

Nemesis Enforcer included both bat wings and tentacles that you could interchange.

From his file card:

They say in Cobra-La that Golobulus raised the Nemesis Enforcer from a pile of dead things and that where his soul should be there is nothing but emptiness. His leathern wings have beat across the night skies since before the ice age as he tirelessly carried out the dark will of his master and creator. Fleeting glimpses of his sinister form gave rise to legends of vampires, harpies and countless other things that go bump in the night...

"He can glide silently and land without a sound. He is the other presence in the pitch-black room. He is the lurker in the dark,just outside your bedroom window. He rattles the garbage cans and makes your floors creak. He is the dread that stands behind you in the dark and dares you to turn and face him!"

Cobra-La: Golobulus - G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero Figure - (1987)

Golobulus was part of the “Cobra-La Team” set, featuring three new characters from “G.I. Joe: The Movie.”

The set included Golobulus, Nemesis Enforcer, and Royal Guard.

From his file card:

Descended from the serpent kings of pre-history; Golobulus rules over Cobra-La, a hidden, secret valley in the Himalayas where the high priests of the Bio-Mechanical cult have created a technology based solely on living organisms. The buildings of Cobra-La are really colonies of crustaceans, and the clothes of inhabitants are as alive as the people who wear them. Golobulus has achieved immortality through symbiosis... at the cost of his humanity.

"The plates of Golobulus' body armor are living mutations of lobsters and crabs, each genetically altered to perform a specific function and bred for the tensile strength of their chitinous shells. Over the centuries, so much of Golobulus' body parts have been replaced or bio-mechanically altered that very little of the original is left except for his brain and his central nervous system."

My wife and daughter brought me this BDX popcorn bucket back from their “girls trip” to Disney. I can’t wait to start painting and customizing him!

But…

My wife insists “he” is a “she” and her name is Poppy. And, Poppy doesn’t need a fancy paint job or electronics - she’s perfect just the way she is.

I’m beginning to wonder if she actually bought this for me or if she bought this for her! 🤔😆

Big Boa - G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero Figure - (1987)

We kick off the 1987 line with Big Boa. 1987 in the last full year of Joes that I collected. I turned 13 in ‘87. By the time I was 14, interest was waning in the direction the toy line was taking.

That being said, I loved the helmet on Big Boa. The helmet was very “Cobra.” The concept of a Cobra trainer was out-there, as well.

From his file card:

"Big Boa kicks open the Cobra barracks door at 0500 and makes everyone do the low-crawl up the mountain while pushing a bowling ball with their noses. Then, it's a twenty-mile run through the bramble thickets, more push-ups than you want to know about, and a two-mile swim upstream with flak jacket and helmet. After breakfast, he starts on the HARD stuff!"

I know I’m not the only one here who has met Mr. Hama. And I know it’s probably not that special to many of you. But, to me, this was a goal I never knew I had in my life.

I debated what to take to get signed. I don’t have carded figures. I sold off my entire Marvel Comics collection when I got out of college (to help pay for an engagement ring - it worked, by the way… 24 years strong!).

Then, I remembered this poster. It was a fold-out from a G.I. Joe magazine. I’ve had it forever. There’s a random photo of one of my elementary school yearbooks of me and my friends huddled over this very poster when the magazines came out.

And then I thought about file cards… I’ve got them all from all my original Joes. I decided on Snake Eyes because I read that it was Mr. Hama’s favorite character.

There was no one at his table when I approached. I was able to chat with him a while. I told him how important his characters and stories were to me and how I was completely immersed in the world he created from about age 8 to age 14. I’m sure he thought I was just blabbering. He was extremely gracious and patient.

The poster? It’s getting framed. Sure, it’s folded and tattered, but it’s part of my G.I. Joe story. The file card is going back in the metal file box with all my other file cards. But, I’ll know that there’s my original Snake Eyes card in there that was signed by its creator.

Zarana [without earrings] - G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero Figure - (1986)

This is the second version of Zarana released in the same year. I have no idea why, but Hasbro changed the entire head sculpt. This version has a thinner face and no earrings.

Yesterday, I posed the original version that had earrings.

I’m still not sure how I ended up with both versions as a kid, but I did. Maybe I recognized the difference when I saw the second release in a store?

Zarana [with earrings] - G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero Figure - (1986)

Two versions of Zarana were released in 1986. They had different head sculpts, with the second being a thinner face and more sculpted hair.

I ended up with both versions, and I don’t remember how or why. Did I notice the change when I saw her again in a store? I honestly don’t remember.

EDIT: Here is the second release without earrings.

Wet-Suit - G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero Figure - (1986)

Wet-Suit was one of my favorite Joes. I always liked the divers for some reason.

Funny story… when I found him in storage, he was missing his sea sled and searchlight. I looked everywhere for them. Couldn’t find them. I gave up and ordered a replacement set of vintage pieces from eBay. By the time I got around to photographing the figures, I was pulling vehicles and playsets out of storage. When I was reassembling the Flagg, I found a small box of figures and accessories tucked inside. There was Wet-Suits missing parts! He’s pictured here with his original accessories, not the replacements.

Strato-Viper [Cobra Night Raven Pilot]- G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero Figure - (1986)

Another amazing pilot figure from Cobra!

According to the file card, Strato-Vipers had to be surgically altered to be more resistant to hypoxia, hyperventilation and other decompression sicknesses. Now, that’s dedication to your job!

The blaster accessories are awesome, but it sucks that using them ruins the panel color scheme of the Droid. (Plus they fall off if you bump anything while driving)

But NO LONGER, these panels fit with no modification necessary, securely grip the blaster, and can be made in almost any color.

Currently available for A-LT and R-series with the C-series panels coming soon!

https://www.etsy.com/listing/4515901136/driod-blaster-accessory-panel-secure

Sgt. Slaughter [Mail Away] - G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero Figure - (1986)

It’s 1986 and every kid I know is into the WWF (before they changed their name). And, we all play with our G.I. Joe figures together. Then, one day, freakin’ Sgt. Slaughter shows up as a member of the team? And you can only get him through the mail? I couldn’t get a stamped envelope fast enough to send off for this figure.

I remember my Dad actually letting me call the number to hear the special message from Sgt. Slaughter.

https://youtu.be/a8g6nVh0gyI?si=G4YKTRqhX3DQKT5k

I made it! Now, let’s see if I can hit 800!