u/Fridaychild1

I think it’s safe to say that we were all raised with the idea that solo substance use, or “secrecy” about it was a sign of a problem. On the other hand, I don’t share what prescription meds I take with basically anyone, so why would I volunteer info about this?

So I’m curious. Who in your life knows you partake? Why did you decide to share or keep it private? Wondering how folks navigate it, especially with family and close friends.

Had some strawberries today, then some strawberry lemonade, then smoked some Strawberry Haze, and omg it really tasted like strawberries. How? What magic is that?

I’m not sure I love the effect of it, it was a little too energizing for today, but the taste was amazing.

I know the answer is terpenes and flavanoids but like which ones?

My heat tolerance is way better, I’m happier in clothes, I took a plane last week and could just stride right down the aisle without worrying about bumping the seats.

I have a list of things to try and see how much better they are.

1. Swimming off a boat. I haven’t done that in years because the last time I tried my brother had to basically lift me out of the water back on board and it was embarrassing, but now I’m confident I could lift myself back.

2. Roller coaster

3. Hiking

Anyone else having summer wins?

Do you have a doctor/nurse practitioner who is pro cannabis? How did you find them, and what did you ask them to find out if you’re on the same page?

I got the job I’ve been posting about and I will be back in NYC come September. Thank you all for cheering me on! I’m excited and also terrified.

I’m going to be staying with a friend for a while and doing a commuter marriage until I can get a place for my partner and me. It’s going to be a challenge, but hopefully it’s setting us up for the future we want.

And there is sooooo much good weed here.

It seems like weed is like food and comes in flavor families. Sweet—fruit and warm sweet spices. And savory, a Christmas tree farm with spruce and diesel.

Does this make sense?

Which do you prefer? I’m sweet all the way.

Inspired by lemon cherry gelato and blue Cookie Monster.

Hi wives! I’m interviewing Thursday for a new job (same career) that would get me back to NYC. I’m so hoping this happens. Light one for me and send me some vibes? Working in a conservative area isn’t really working for me anymore and this would also bolster my retirement so much.

The job I posted about a few weeks ago didn’t come through, budget for it not approved. But in the process I realized just how desperately I wanted to be back in NYC. So I’m applying for other things. Wish me luck please frients! Send some smoke up and think of me.

I’d like to be at the Pride parade in NYC, but instead I’m where I live now, celebrating family members in heteronormative life cycle events when my own lifecycle events went, and go, uncelebrated.

It feels shitty. Not even the celebrations—it feels like the right and necessary thing to be at them. But it’s not where I want my celebratory energy to go this weekend. And I’m tired of going unrecognized in my family. The last time any party was thrown for me by family of origin was my high school graduation in 1989. Then I left the fold, came out, and forfeited any chance of them celebrating anything I did. And I’ve done a lot.

I feel kind of immature even writing this. When I came out and my parents rejected me, my brother said ‘you’re a grown woman you shouldn’t need mommy and daddy’s approval.’ And I said imagine if they hadn’t come to your wedding, or if you weren’t allowed to go home if you were with your wife. He understood then, he said, but we weren’t able to push through the hostility and I went 4 years no contact with any family members. Then we reconciled, bit by bit over the years. But no celebrations, no official welcoming to the family of my partner. I became a parent via the foster care system and my family of origin accepted and bonded with my kids, and I’m grateful for that.

But I’ve never had a wedding, a baby shower, an anniversary party, a graduation party, etc. And yet I still go to everyone else’s everything else. And sometimes it just really sucks.

EDIT—if anyone has an similar stories/feelings, misery loves company and I’m miserable today

The past 4 years have been the hardest of my entire career. I developed some heavy mental health issues and barely made it with my job intact. But now I’m pushing my way out of it with HRT and feeling healthier. My mood is pretty stable and I’ve probably gone a year without a panic attack. My energy is even coming back and I’m exercising again.

I have an opportunity now to go to a new job, same field, much better pay and would boost my retirement a lot. It’s in NYC and I’m not, so I’d be staying with a friend until my partner and I can relocate—we were much happier when we lived there and want to get back. We’ll do a JetBlue commuter marriage in the meantime. I moved out of NYC around the time perimenopause really picked up and have been gone for 9 years. It’s a lot of change.

I’m incredibly excited about it, but also terrified. It’s been years since I’ve been well enough to take on something like this and I’m scared I won’t be able to do it.

If anyone has any stories of restarting your life after a hard menopause, I would love to hear them.

EDIT—I am so grateful for the support I’ve gotten here. I feel a lot more optimistic now.

I don’t think I’ve ever dreamt about weed before, but I had the nicest dream last night. I was at the job I’m hoping to get in Brooklyn, and I left to go eat lunch at a nearby park. But instead of a park, there was a neighborhood full of rambly old Victorians with brightly colored flower gardens all around. I went up to the door of one, and it was opened by this witchy old hippie lady with a cloud of white hair. Turns out it was her spa, so I decided to get a massage. She said, let’s smoke first, and rolled a huge joint. We smoked then went out to her sunny, green back garden where she gave me a massage with infused oils from the plants in her garden, cannabis and other herbs.

When I woke up I was so relaxed it was like it actually happened, and I had this wonderful sense that everything was going to be okay.

It felt like more than a regular dream, more like a good omen.

Anyone else have weed play a role in your dreams? Any weedy dreams to share?

Any witchy people who have any insight about dreams?

There is sooo much good weed there.

We can’t afford to relocate, but if the job I am hoping for comes through I can stay with my bestie and save, and in a year, hopefully, my partner and I would be able to get a place. Until then we will have a jet blue commuter marriage.

I lived there for 24 years and I’ve been back where I came from for 9. No place has ever felt like home the way NYC has. Certainly not where I came from.

Light up some herb for me, and if you feel so moved any candles or incantations or anything else you want to do to help move my path in this direction.

The other day I was puzzling over a financial/career problem and I thought, this is unsolvable. I can’t fix this. And then I remembered that I thought the same thing about my weight two years ago.

And then I had a solution come to mind. It might not happen and I don’t want to celebrate too early, but I’m happy that I’m thinking of options to try, instead of just thinking I’m stuck in an unfixable mess. If this solution doesn’t work I’ll find another one.

It feels like the confidence boost of losing weight is transferable. Has anyone else experienced this? What changes have you made that aren’t directly related to weight loss?

Idk if this is okay to post here just really need vibes. My partner’s sister’s cat who lives with us appeared with a large, deep cut on his side. Over an hour drive to emergency vet then triage and finding out he was stable enough to wait in the car with us. Well, im back inside now cause 3 people and cat in a hatchback is a lot. We’ve been here almost 5 hours and it’ll be another hour at least before we see a vet and get any idea of treatment. Then we have to all try to scrape up the money for it which won’t be easy.
I worked yesterday so I’ve been away for 25 hours now. This is a nightmare. I want to go home and smoke.

Just posting this here to make myself do it. I used to smoke when I was younger, whatever I could get from a friend with a friend, and then stopped for years. Then legalization happened (which I strongly support) And I started using cannabis regularly. This was about a year and a half ago, and until recently I was a fairly moderate cannabis user. A 1g joint would last me a week or more, and I prefer the lower THC strains. I like to go out to my hammock at the end of the day , smoke a few hit and relax, and that was working.

Then for some reason I got a vape pen about a month ago and realized this weekend that it needs to go in the trash. It’s probably mostly gone anyway. I’ve been hitting it way more than I like. I had it on my nightstand and would do things like take a hit if I was having trouble sleeping. I started to feel like shit. Groggy in the mornings, flat, no motivation. And it hit me that it might be the cannabis, and specifically the vape pen.

I’m hoping that just getting rid of it and going back to one fairly small evening sesh will be enough to set me right, but I know I might need to do an actual T break for that evening sesh to feel like anything again.

I feel like an old lady but part of me is like why do these things even exist? 90s weed was perfectly fine.

Anyway, heading to the garbage with my pen. If anyone has had similar experiences I’d love to hear it.

Anybody else just find they have no tolerance anymore? For discomfort, for bullshit, for going along to get along, for going to work sick.

I used to be able to push myself a lot and I just can’t/won’t anymore. But I’m not in a place financially to retire. How do you manage this?

I haven’t posted here before and I don’t even know what I’m looking for. My partner and I have been together for 16 years. The past 9 I’ve been the only earner. She lost her career before it ever really started, and while I don’t want to give details it truly is lost. There is no path back to her old life plan and she has not been able to come up with a new one.

I don’t know if I can stay if things don’t change and we don’t seem to be able to create change. She’s starting a new med so that’s a little bit of a cause for hope… but it’s a small glimmer.

I’ve fallen into my own struggles with depression starting 2 years ago. I’ve had to take unpaid leave to manage it and my menopause issues. This makes the pressure worse and also makes me angry that the space for me to struggle isn’t there.

Has anyone here made it out the other side of a situation like this? With the relationship surviving?

Space for anyone who wants to talk about the feelings Mother’s Day can bring, and I’ll start.

I had a dream last night (I know dream recounting is cringy but I’m doing it anyway.) In the dream, I was standing in front of a field of tulips in the Netherlands. It was unbelievably gorgeous, reds and oranges and golds. My mom was next to me, and she said, “I always wanted to see the tulips in Holland before I die, but I guess I never will. It’s okay though.” And she sighed deeply.

And I said, “Mom, these *are* the tulips in Holland. We’re here. We’re looking at them right now.”
She didn’t believe me. I don’t remember the rest.

But I woke up and thought about how I am anything anyone could want in a daughter, and yet a tremendous disappointment to her. And thought how that is not on me. Her inability to see me doesn’t take away my beauty or worth. It’s a delusion on her part. She can’t see the beauty that’s right in front of her.

So for anyone else who needs to hear it—if your evangelical family has a problem with you, it is on them. You get to reject their vision of you.

And I’d love to hear about how other people are dealing to with this weekend.

Im really grateful for this community. I’ve done a lot of work on my mental health since I left evangelicalism as a late teen in the late 80s. But there were no real resources at the time. The term exvangelical didn’t exist yet.

Then as my life went on, my circles became overwhelmingly people from secular backgrounds. They did not get it. When I tried to talk to them about anything, the reactions were like I was part of a freak show. So I didn’t talk about it.

This place makes me feel connected and helps me better understand my own experiences.