u/FriendlyWorldArt

TLDR: Described as loving people, water, and dogs, but as far as I can tell, he does not like ANY of that.

For reference, I’ve had about 48 foster dogs, so I’m not new to the individual situations they bring, but I have never encountered something like this.

Current foster is 55 pound mix (maybe pitbull/hound/beagle?) and known history is that he was legally confiscated with 3 other dogs as part of a cruelty investigation (I know there was extreme neglect and confinenent in small wire kennels outside without shelter, food, or water, but I don’t know if there was violence toward the dogs.)
My foster spent 800 days in the city shelter, there’s tons of videos and photos of him going to public adoption events and playing with other dogs, and going on outings with volunteers.
He was adopted but returned after biting the resident dog twice. Once was reportedly a resource guarding incident over a toy, and the second was described as “unprovoked” (but as we know, that may be just that the witnesses did not see what led up to it.)
The description I got was that he loves other dogs, loves people, and loves water (they even described him as “an Olympic swimmer!)

Since I started fostering him three weeks ago, I have seen nothing that aligns with those descriptors. Not, “ok, sometimes he enjoys water and sometimes not.”
He is actively terrified of it to the point that he will not drink water until he must make himself drink. Even then, he laps up the minimum and runs away from the water bowl.

I always bring water on our hikes and walks. He can be panting heavily and when we break for water, he will take a few laps from the flowing trickle from the water bottle and occasionally lower his head to drink from the travel bowl, but again, he only takes the minimum. If I offer more or push the bowl toward him, he averts his gaze and turns his head away.

He is very suspicious of people passing us, freezes in places and stares hard at them and barks. He won’t budge until he is satisfied that they have passed and not approaching us. However, I had a friend visit at my place, and he was momentarily suspicious but warmed up quickly to her.

Other dogs he sees or hears on our walks, he raises his hackles, growls, barks, and lunges.

The weirdest thing is the water. He is actively terrified of water. I’ve tried all different kinds of bowls, square ones round ones tall ones blue ones ceramic ones metal ones, every Dr Seuss variety that exists, even a water fountain. I’ve tried broth. And he simply avoids them all. He’ll eat out of his food bowl, so I swapped it out and used it for water, but once it had water in it, he wouldn’t use it. (He is getting hydration bc I have been mixing water with his food so it’s like soup, and he will eat the watered down food.)

As for the description of him loving water for bathing? Nope. He is terrified of the bathtub. We pass a water fountain on our evening walk and he will sit with me near it, but he won’t face it.

I feel so sorry for him. Yesterday it started to rain, and he must have been thirsty bc he tipped his head toward the sky to catch the rain in his mouth. Occasionally he tried to drink from hot, nasty puddles, but obviously I can’t let him do that.

The shelter is very surprised to hear this, and he must have been drinking from his kennel bucket, because otherwise he would have died from dehydration.
I’m not even sure that they believe me about how afraid he is of water.

Naturally, I monitor his gums and skin, and so far he seems adequately hydrated through the food/water combo.

One thing I noticed is that this dog seems to be very good at tolerating discomfort. In some of the videos I saw, kids were going up to him and getting in his face (😣) while the handler allowed it, and he was just very still, not licking or playful, but not aggressive. I’m not a behavior expert, but it seemed to me that he was compliant but not comfortable.

Maybe that contributed to why nobody ever noticed his aversion to water?
Could he just feel comfortable enough since there are no other dogs or people in my house that he feels like he can show his fears? Maybe I’m overthinking.
I just want him to be able to be adopted without any surprises for the adopter.

Context: long term tenant on large property, 10 years, zero lease violations, perfect payment history.

New manager demands tenants use portal - no more paying by check or MO.

Paid on portal on Aug 1 as directed (even though lease says I can pay with check in person!) and paid full amount that portal said I owed.

Got receipt. Aug 3, I got a text saying I have a past due balance of 142. Immediately paid on portal.

One hour later, a three day notice was put on my door signed by corporate lawyer.
Lease says we have until the third of the month to pay before late charges, but I paid on the first exactly what the portal said I owed.
No idea what the $142 extra was for, the manager gets pissy and spins ridiculous bullshit that makes no sense and then arbitrarily acts like their being merciful by « taking some off ».

I think (but can’t prove) that they’re stealing. They have multiple felonies for fraud.
What to do? They get threatening if we question them and have told tenants that we aren’t allowed to talk to each other about the apartments.

I try to be respectful of other people/cyclists and move aside bc I know not everyone likes dogs. Especially since I don’t know much about my foster dog’s history, I don’t want him doing any awkward crotch sniffing or whatever.
Is there enough space to give another person the right of way, or would we be taking a dip in the bay?
Thanks 🙂

My iPhone 11 is circling the drain and it’s time to replace. I also have a 3rd generation SE to trade in very good condition.
Has anyone bought a used iPhone from one of the local stores and gotten decent credit for a trade?
Good warranties?
Thanks!
(I already tried an online business, the seller sent me a useless demo phone, wouldn’t refund, so I’m out $450. Hoping to avoid this bullshit by buying locally.)

You know those little red cans of compressed air called “Pet Corrector “? It’s just plain air that makes a startling hissing noise? I don’t have a yard, so I always keep a can handy when I’m out walking my fosters, just in case of an *emergency*, like an off leash dog charging. (I do not use it for training, *ever*.)

Anyhow, I had to go to court today as a witness for a case.
I forgot I had an extra Pet Corrector spray in my purse.
Court Security has apparently never heard of it, and they pulled it out like they’d found a suspicious device.

I’m frantically trying to explain it’s just air. Literally what we are breathing. not pepper spray, not mace, no chemicals.

They did NOT buy my explanation, that it’s harmless, it only hurts a dog’s feelings if he’s being naughty.
So they confiscated it.

I might be the first person detained for possessing air.

Pretty sure I’m on some watchlist now 🫠
Keep me in your thoughts 😁

I’ve had a series of very labor-intensive dogs with anxiety. My last one was just spinning in circles and I have been exhausted, so I really really need a break.
Today, I figured I would vacuum and shampoo the carpets before the next foster.
I hurt my arm, but I remembered I had a Roomba that I shoved in a closet a few years ago, so I thought, Great! This will be easy!

Well, Every five seconds it runs back under the sofa where it has already vacuumed approximately 47 times, despite the fact that nobody has walked there since 2019. It gets stuck at the baby gate and starts crying for help. It stops and cries that its brush is dirty. Bish, I just cleaned your brush, THERE IS NOTHING THERE. I’m basically its personal dental hygienist. Then it gets stuck looping in a figure 8 pacing routine like my last foster used to do.
Occasionally it suddenly spits out a horrifying cloud of dirt like, “SURPRISE! I TRIED TO EAT SOMETHING TERRIBLE!” (Also like my last foster.)

It tries to eat cords. Cords that are technically out of reach but it repeatedly rams into a table until the cord falls and it gives itself a blockage.
It keeps trying to go back under the sofa like its favorite ball has rolled under there.
And????
I put my foot in front of it to break it out of its figure 8, and it just tries to climb my leg like it needs to be neutered.
I’ve been intercepting this thing for the last hour when it gets stuck looping, or insists on chasing whatever is under the sofa. Every now and then it misses some little thing, like a popcorn kernel, and I bend over and get it, throw it in front of the Roomba and yell “GO GET IT!”
So much for a break. I basically have an anxious Roomba that doesn’t fetch too well.
I know this isn’t technically about fostering, but whew 😥

I think I might be weird.
Every time I bring home a new foster, I give them a tour, like a sightseeing guide or something.
The way home, I give them a pep talk, and say stuff like, « You’re ok, you just stepped on the window controller, » or « yeah, sorry about that, I guess I did brake a little too hard, » or « give me a sign if you’re gonna get car sick, » or « we’ll be there in about 5 more minutes. »
Then, when we get here, I say, « We’re going in the back door. Coming up on the right, you see that holly tree? you’ll probably catch a whiff of your foster brother there. He loved to pee there. Go ahead and give it a sniff if you want. Don’t worry if you smell him but don’t see him, he just got adopted.»
Once we’re inside, I show them around and say, « we don’t potty in here. Well I do, but if you need to, try to give me a sign. Want a cold drink of water? » (They ALWAYS do)
So then I usually go about my business and let them explore or whatever for a few hours.
In the evening I explain to the new dog: Ok, all the dogs start out with this onboarding video I’m going to show you. It’s just a Korean drama about a girl named Seri who accidentally paraglides into North Korea. And see, they’re enemies, so it would be extremely dangerous if the North Koreans discovered her. So she has to depend on and trust strangers to help her and feed her and protect her until she can get home.
I play this orientation video for all newbies because you’re kinda in the same situation as Seri, depending on a stranger to help you get through a rough patch. But you’ll see. The villagers all help take care of Seri and even though it’s scary, she realizes the strangers are keeping her safe.
Etc etc. I ask them where they want to sleep, and all kinds of stuff.
Am I the only one who holds orientation?

EDIT: Thank you, everyone. I didn’t expect so many people to read such a long post and offer so many words of comfort and understanding. You are truly an incredible group. I really just thought I would write it all out just to get it off my chest but I never anticipated SO MANY PEOPLE offering encouragement and kindness. I’m blown away. Knowing that I can come here and get this kind of nonjudgmental support has helped me so much that I have decided that Monday or Tuesday I will go get another foster dog. I will probably try to ask for one that is a little bit easier, just for my sanity, but knowing I can reach out and talk, even in the middle of the night, has helped me reboot. 💓

My foster has been hard. Very labor-intensive. He was spiraling in the shelter, obsessively spinning in place. I brought him home, and he never really warmed up to me, even after an extended period.
I couldn’t leave him alone safely, because he tried to eat almost anything and he couldn’t tolerate being kenneled.
It doesn’t matter if everything is picked up - he breaks through gates, cabinets, anything to put something in his mouth.
It was heartbreaking to watch his anxiety take over and I live alone so I just stayed home and used my savings. It’s been exhausting, and sometimes I was close to tears.
I asked if we could find a substitute foster, just for a few days so I could have a break, but they couldn’t find anyone. Trazodone and gabapentin didn’t help.
On the Fourth of July, he panicked and sprinted straight into the sliding glass door. It broke, the glass dislodged but didn’t shatter so he wasn’t cut.
I told the shelter I am doing everything I can, we hike or walk 5 miles every day, he has a ton of enrichment and I never leave him alone, but I am seeing real suffering when he is at his most anxious. I told them that I could understand euthanasia being a humane choice if we can’t break through his anxiety.

He had a meet and greet today with potential adopters and their dog so I brought him back to the shelter. Everyone there knows how he is. We all looked grim. As soon as he was back at the shelter, his anxiety exploded. Spinning, unable to focus, panting. I always put two leashes on him just in case one breaks and he bolts, and as I stood there, he spun so many times that the leashes were twisted so tightly around my arm that I had to get help bc my hand was turning purple.

I waited inside while the kennel tech took his leash and led him to the play yard. The rest of us waited on pins and needles in the lobby.
20 minutes later, the vet tech came back in alone, face red, crying.

I braced for the news. She said, “He is out there playing leap frog and tag and wrestling with their dog! I’ve never seen him so happy!”

I was stunned. He didn’t need trazodone. He needed another dog.

We waited probably a solid 45 minutes for signs that they wouldn’t get along, but it never happened, so he got adopted.

I didn’t say goodbye. I was worried that if I entered the picture as he was leaving with his family, it might confuse him or he might get distracted or something, so I just slipped out.
I feel a lot sadder than I expected and I don’t know why. I’m happy that he got adopted, of course. I think I feel sadness that I approached the topic of euthanasia when he just needed another dog to unlock his joy.
I hope he is ok.

I knew it was going to be hard tonight. I committed a few days ago to staying home with him and setting up a panic room, because he is insanely anxious even without fireworks.
The neighbors set off some explosions that startled even me. The house shook.
Foster was working on a lick mat, but when the nearby fireworks went off, he lost his mind. Bolted straight toward the sliding glass door balcony at full speed.
The door broke, but thankfully the glass didn’t shatter and I caught him before he went off the balcony ledge (or slammed into the railing, not sure which way that would have gone, but it probably would not have ended well.)
He was already dosed with 150mg trazodone. I brought him into the panic room, put ear muffs on him and a blanket over him. He’s been pretty much frozen in place, just panting rapidly. He’s just now starting to move a tiny bit. Like just nosing his way out from the blanket a tiny bit.
Poor dog.

Let’s just say that if extracting oneself from a sweaty, stretchy, clingy sports bra ever becomes an Olympic sport, my training is going well.
🥇 🥇 🥇