u/FrostyCompetition843

I resent my dad for trying to do business and my mother for always invalidating my feelings. Now me and the entire damily door dash w him intil 10pm. My mom works nonstop at home alongside doimg housework and helping my dad w doordash. I work 40hr weeks when i have time off uni. My parents make combined 85k a yr, which is around 1 full time median income for aus.

I recenrly started to resent my dad. Hes been in the west for 30+ yrs and is proficient in english and has a masters, but for the 20 yrs i am alive, he has never even done a job interview. He has always chased wealth through the form of businesses, investmebts etc. Whilst lying ab finances. We have never been dirt broke, i have never gone hungry, but i cant help but resent him bc we could have even a normal life if he worked a salary job. My mom asked what has been making me upset, i told her.i feel the need to work this much, to tire myself because of our ecenomic struggle. I stop myself from spending big knowing it can be better used to help my family. My mother defended my fathers mindset, saying before i was born we had a very succesful business and my dads chasing that to help us out of this situation, and that injust domt know the struggle that comes with getting rich and not living on a salary. I respinded and said how the hell am i sipposed to trudt that we will somehow succeed now, after 21 years (my entire lifespan) of no evidence of that happening. She told me i was ungrateful for the effort our family has put, and i do agree. I feel bad for resenting him, but i cant helo but feel jealous of families who can go on holiday, who have property, whosh children r free to spend their won money. I have lent them 25k to invest, and in my heart i know that theres no way they can make it big. I hate this persuit of wealth and the instability it brings me emotionally. I hate my mom asking whats wrong and then invalidating my feelings and that i shoildnt worry when i am a main investor in this family. Who is she to tell me not to worry about our finances when they need to ask for large sums of money from their student daughter.

My mother has always been awful at handkung my emotions. Whenever my mom asks me whats wring, she always thinks of ways to resolve my issues/reason with me when i just need comfort. I.e. when i told her i got sexyally assulted at 16 by an adult in public she blamed me and got angry at me for not forcibly stopping him. Mind you she asked me today why i was so upset. Fuck me.

I know im ungrateful and that there are poeple in worse positions than me. Hence why i feel like a brat. I just wish they would stop telling mw not to work this much when they literally ask me to invest in them, and their incomes are the same as a median 15-19 year old full time worker's. A daughter cannot see that and not burn themselves out. Idek.

Sorry 4 typos i am not reading all that

I have the oppertunity to go on exchange for 11 days in europe in dec

Pros:

- a subject i am REALLY interested and is highly relevant to the specific country i am going to

-everyone who i talk to ever says exchange will be an unforgettable, life changing oppertunity and this is my last chance for exchange

- i do not pay rent and save the vast majority of money i get from my casual job. I have enough in my savings to pay for the trip in at least quadruple

-uni automatically gives $600 if i commit to going

Cons:

- uni estmiated it roughly be 4.5k for 11 days, but that is based on last yr's prices and does not take into account price increases due to current geopolitical climate (gas and also it being europe and flying over middle east) . 4.5k is uni estimate and subject to change bc all flights, accom food etc are organised by the individual

- unlike other students, i will not be taking advatage of being in europe and paying high upfront ticket fees and travelling after getting there. Will most likely stay for at most 14days and coming home, so cost fees for little stay

Would you say the unforgettable experience is worth the cost? Wwyd