u/Frosty_Specific6272

First up just to make things clear this does not mean I no longer identify as non-human and I will be continuing to moderate the very small very quiet subreddit I run for adult fictionkin. I am otherwise planning to vacate the wider alterhuman community for a few months due to the amount of people who do not understand the identity but claim it anyway and the amount of "voluntary" Identities I keep being exposed to. I have fairly severe trauma involving my family's response to me being alterhuman, largely involving their attempts to "fix" me. It's also just a huge core piece of my identity and how I navigate the world. Thus being around people who claim this is some frivolous thing they simply decided on or is just about liking/relating to something is infuriating and can be triggering. I am in therapy for my trauma amongst other things, but regardless I just don't feel like I can continue in this community right now. As far as I can tell my views about "voluntary" identities counting as alterhuman have not changed, and I still don't accept them I know a lot of them are literally children (and I'm in my twenties) and it's just not fair on either side of the conversation to potentially expose them to the kind of anger and pain I have internalised over the years. So I'll be giving this side of the internet a rest for a few months.

Not sure what flair to use for this or what answers I'm looking for, I think I just need someone to read it and give me their opinions on my recent developments. I'm a 21yo transgender man and I've been working out and growing my hair out to look more like Prince Adam from He-man And Masters of Universe. For those not in the know that's He-man's secret everyday identity. I had my kin awakening as him in my teens after watching the Filmation He-man cartoon for the first time and it was what made me come out as a man so even though up until recently I didn't have much of a desire to look like him being fictionkin (and alterhuman in general) has always been part of my gender and my transition. For me being Adam is both a spiritual and psychological kin identity and last month when my depression began to came back I started wishing I could be Adam again. So I decided why not try? I already have a tattoo involving my source material as him and am considering my fantasy tattoos in the near future, something a bit more subtle than the very Eternian imagery of my left arm. My hair is too dark to dye blond without bleaching and damaging it, and I'm not sure I want to try again after two attempts at darker colours that didn't turn out right. So it'll stay black for the foreseeable future. Adam/He-man is usually depicted as hairless from the neck down but hair removal triggers my dysphoria a lot. My new workout routine is going well, I'm getting visible results as I slowly build more muscle. Progress isn't fast at all but it's visible in the places I want it and I look more physically fit than I did playing competitive sports in my teens. I really like it and I've even started eating differently and taking creatine to help with my transformation. I haven't changed the way I dress much and not in a way that reflects my kin in any way. I'm not sure how far I want to take this. I feel pretty good about it so far and I want to do more but I'm not sure if that's worth doing or where I'd even go next. I don't want to look exactly like him, in part because I have other kintypes and Adam isn't my main (I primarily identify as werewolfkin). I want to go further but I'm not sure how. So far I think this has been good for me, maybe I'm wrong but it's one of the few things that gives me consistent happiness at the moment and I love being closer to being Prince Adam. But I can't help but wonder if this is something I should be pursuing or if I'm doing it right, let alone where I go next with it. If anyone has any thoughts on this or have ideas feel free to let me know.

I know somebody who is a spiritual Jayden Shiba (Power Rangers Samurai) fictive/fictionkin and he's looking for friends and potential sourcemates. Any candidates or ideas on where I might help him find people? He's mostly active on Tumblr and Discord but doesn't use Reddit so I'm asking on his behalf.

Adults only referring to individuals eighteen and over. I don't exactly have experience moderating but I wouldn't mind if this is something there's a genuine demand for.

Realised nobody here knows about Randy Conston, a very successful and happy man who lives his life as Peter Pan (primarily the book version). I don't know if he considers himself fictionkin but he's certainly ficto-adjacent at the very least. Here's a video about his life, watch it in full (the ending is pretty nice and I know it's by Whang! but he's surprisingly very respectful). If you ever feel like you have to hide being fictionkin or like it's something shameful think of Randy.

Armpit

I was out last night with a friend and I'm just a little hungover. I'm pretending to be more hungover so I don't have to leave my bed. It's the fourth. Independence Day. It's a very special day to Duke Nukem, one of my two fiction kins but not a day celebrated in my country. I don't think I want to celebrate, even though it's the middle of tourist season and there are definitely Americans around and events for them to celebrate with. Because none of them are my sourcemates and what's the point of parties and fireworks without them? I've been suppressing my grief for the people I miss fairly well, in part because I'm trying to figure out everything regarding my Prince Adam kintype but also because that grief can be very overwhelming especially when it comes to one particular character. For context my primary memories are from the total conversation mod Duke Nukem: Alien Armageddon and the earlier unfinished version of Duke Nukem Forever leaked on 4Chan, which are reasonably character heavy. And they both contain her. God, I'm not even sure I want to talk about this. I still miss Bombshell. No not the version from Ion Fury, the original one I struggle to find anything more than concept art for and her Alien Armageddon appearance. Since my last post about her over a year ago I've gotten into a healthy relationship here in this life, deleted all the concept art of her on my laptop and phone, and tried to shut it out but sometimes I still feel it. I absolutely hate the way it feels so similar to the grief I have from relatives dying in this life. I want to spend today with her more. Maybe it's just the combination of my partner being out of the country and being a bit depressed about unrelated things. If you're out there somewhere baby, I hope you're having a great independence day and have wonderful people to spend it with. I just wish I was there.

I tried.

I was so scared and ashamed when my memories started coming back. I thought if I repressed it, put away my action figures, hung my model sword on the wall and cut my hair short again it would go away. I thought if I smoked enough weed, stopped posting here and didn't so much as pick up a He-man comic, covered my tattoo (yes, I have a He-man tattoo, suck it up haters) or watch the stupid cartoon it would go the fuck away. Now I'm sitting outside the Screen one, half an hour early, twenty one years of age with my stomach churning waiting to watch the live action movie of my source material. I know I'll probably get memories or homesickness, or cry or all three. I don't know how to feel other than this is what it means to be fictionkin and it's the most ridiculous emotional heavy out-there thing. In my time off Reddit I've been homeless again, lost friends, seen people's true colours and learned so much about myself. But no matter what I did I never stopped being me. I never stopped being Adam. He and I are one and the same. You can run, you can hide, your self perception and how your kins work can fluctuate but you never stop being fictionkin. And isn't that the beautiful tragedy of it all?