u/FrtanJohnas

Hello everyone. I frequented this sub a lot during the years when I felt like an empty husk, and the posts and people here have always managed to cheer me up a little. Thank you all for that.

I know that things are extremely hard for everyone suffering with mental health issues, and I genuinely hope that you all find some way of making things better for yourself.

That being said I wanted to share what helped me, so that maybe it can help someone reading this.

I always felt like I didn't belong anywhere and that I was just a burden. Too stupid and useless to ever achieve anything. I was exhausted from masking, burned out by expectations and by my inability to achieve any of my dreams and goals. I have spent my days in an endless haze where time didn't matter. (I am sure you guys can relate to this a lot)

During this time I made some sort of personal philosophy. "Nothing matters, and everything is pointless." and at first it made me feel so terrible, but that was only because I was thinking about it negatively. When I got a different perspective, it changed into "Nothing matters and everything is pointless, so why not enjoy your time?"

This is the premise of Absurdism btw.

Slowly, little by little this thinking helped me find joy in stuff where I only saw pain. I could laugh about dark thoughts. The suicidal ideation became a source of comfort, because whenever that thought came into my head, I felt like I finally acknowledged the pain I felt and just had to laugh. And also I realised that there can't be any good days without the bad ones.

I began to search for meaning that I'd like to believe. I personally like psychology so that became a crutch to help myself get out of this mess. But it certainly wasn't easy. Every single obstacle felt like I had to climb the tallest mountain in order to overcome.

I knew that depression and anxiety will be with me forever. It's just a fact I had to accept. I am prone to anxiety/depression disorders and so I had to accept that a lot of the time, I won't be able to do anything other than to stare at the wall and feel terrible. And when those days come I just let it happen and manage as best as I can. And at the end of the day, I congratulate myself for doing a good job, even if I don't really believe it.

It's all about tricking your brain into thinking it's happy. Then the constant terrible days will sometimes have a good one, where you feel okay or least not as bad, and if you use that day to keep feeling alright, then those will slowly come more and more often.

One thing that was terribly hard for me to accept, was that I can't feel alright all the time. That relapsing into a depressive state isn't a complete failiure and loss of progress, but a day off. And I also had to bang into my head not to internalise the terrible conclusions I came up with whenever I felt dead inside.

It took years, therapists, psychiatrists, but most importanly my own mind and self reflection. Trying and trying without a semblence of a rewards or even a guarantee that it will work. I went through dozens of posibilities and all of them pushed the goal a lite further.

And now I have to say, I feel genuinely alright. I have started to achieve some of my dreams, by saving up for a parachute jump course (not to end it, I crave the adrenaline after the constant fight or flight state I was in). I still put on a mask, that part will also stay with me for the rest of my life, but now I do it because I want to and because I have a reason to do that. The reason being that I have to exist in this world if I want to achieve what I want, and that requires to pretend.

I wish to thank you all for being here and trying to survive. If that is all you can manage at this point, then you are doing a great job and I mean that most sincerely. Maybe life is kicking you down, everything is falling apart or you just feel like you are worthless and don't deserve to live anymore. Well I say that you do deserve to live in peace. And my opinion matters because I believe it does. Whatever you ultimately decide to do, do it with the knowledge that it was you and you alone who made the decision. That sort of decision shows strength of character

Hello everyone, I'd like to get some help with explaining how exactly bacteria work. I have been fascinated by them lately.

I am writting a sci-fi story and I wish to describe the whole process of evolution for the alien lifeform, from a bacteria seeded on a Mars like planet, all the way into the dominant lifeform.

So far I have found Deinococcus Radiodurans as my main inspiration, as this specific bacteria can withstand high doses of radiation and I want that to be the main source of nutrition for the first stages of evolution.

But I hit a roadblock where I really want to understand how the microbial world works and interacts with each other, how they get nutrients from their surroundings, how they move, reproduce and basically everything.

And how do the microbes change form and function? I know that colonies of bacteria can mutate into fulfilling different functions, but I never really understood how they achieve that.

I am not a biologist, my main interest is in psychology, but I am deeply fascinated by all sciences and this is something that I always wanted to know.

And if you know any good sources to get information, I'd very much appreciate it

Right now I have discovered the world of microbial life and I am utterly fascinated. I got to this point by writting a Sci-fi story for fun, where there is an alien lifeform.

Well to make long story short, I am creating the whole chain of evolution for this lifeform, from the bacterial beginning all the way to the dominant species on the planet and I seek your help.

The planet is Mars like, meaning it has no magnetosphere and only cryosaline as a liquid that the bacteria can use to start chemical processes. The bacteria itself is going to be feeding by Radiotrophy.

For that purpose I have selected Deinococcus Radiodurans as the main inspiration, but I am having trouble figuring out how exactly the bacteria works and operates in the microbial world.

How does it spread? What does it eat, and can how can I "realistically" write it so that this bacteria later forms into a biofilm > macroorganism > and so on and so forth.

Any help will be appreciated, if you have any info about inner workings of bacteria and maybe pictures to illustrate I would be more than thankfull.

The endgoal for the species is to evolve into a hive-mind like Entity, that resembles an Ant colony, but it is also the colony structure itself. Bioengineering and all that jazz. The ants are mostly just workers and extensions so that the Entity can harvest resources, defends against threats and interact with other species.

TLDR: Amazing game that builds on the foundations of Subnautica 1 and improve on several aspects. I will be patiently waiting for updates

During the production of Subnautica 2, there has been a lot of speculation over how this sequel is going to look. I remember people worrying about it going more in the Below Zero territory, but what we got so far has exceeded my expectations.

What translated very well into the sequel was the focus on Exploration of your surroundings. NoA´s blackboxes and signals usually come at the right time where you are ready to explore the next area, where you might find the technology or resource you need for further progress. the pacing of each part is something that hooked me from the very start until the end. And even if you choose to disregard NoA alltogether, you can find anything if you wander around long enough. This is the freedom of movement that has gripped the fans of S1.

Voice logs and the story is a nice mystery that lets the player wonder about what exactly is going on here. I imagine this aspect will continue with the release of further content, but so far the setup was very engaging to listen too as you explore wrecks and alien facilities.

Another great addition is the building system. Unlike the grid building of the first game, here you can shrink or expand your structures to your hearts content. extra bonus for Detailing structures which really immerse the player in bulding their base.

The ecosystem feels even more alive than the first game, as you explore and observe the wildlife, you can see the predators hunting and foraging at all times. they have their territories which you quickly learn to avoid while travelling. The predators could be a bit less agressive, because after a while they stop being a threat and start being a nuisance that you can only take care of with the Repulsor tool. However this doesn´t change the fact that even the predator wildlife is equally as diverse as the rest of the ecosystem even at this early stage.

Sound design might be the next favorite thing, as the ocean is always filled with noises of various creatures, and the player can easily distinquish between them.

The genetic mutations are an interesting choice, but work well in my opinion. Each mutation is gained by cleaning the roots of a bacterial infection and at the same time it solves one of the jokes the community has had for a long time. How can Ryley survive the crushing pressure of deep waters with nothing but a dive suit?

Well in this game, you get the pressure modification right a the start, so now you are a proper deep sea explorer.

And for the last part, I have had an absolute blast fixing the observatory. Each piece of the puzzle is delivered at the pace i have decribed already, and the payoff feels like a proper achievement. if only I didn´t power up the plant during the night, as I only saw what was happening by the little light I saw. my only hope is that the whole area of the Alien powerplant is expanded upon and once the plant is operational, we might even be able to visit some of the dwellings and buildings there are.

Now for some cons of the game.

There are only a few, and most of them are QoL instead of game breaking issues.

What I noticed most, were resources being unable to grab. Not so much an issue if you can find a node that has 5 times more of the resource you were trying to find, but at the same time it is annyoing to witness.

Same goes for harvesting of the sponge plants. I have never had more issues with harvesting those little devils than anything other.

Next gripe would be the expansive database. I love the entries and I have been reading through them regularly, but finding anything in the database itself is a hassle. When you scan something, you have to quickly press tab to open the entry, and if you are in a dangerous area that you have to leave before you can read, that forces you to close the database and swim away. Fortunately the last page you opened is still there, but I´d appreciate a way to pin the entries and read them while travelling for example, as some of the long hauls can get a bit dull after your thirtieth one.

Next up is furniture. I gave praises to the building system and I stand by it, but the game still lacks many furniture items to really customise your base in a way that makes it look like a real living space.

Anyway I love the game, it exceeded my expectations of a sequel to an already brilliant game and I will follow updates very carefully.

I am so angry at myself. I wanted to apply for University this year because I want to learn cool stuff and having a title would help me land any position in some science field.

I am 26, working in a hospital as a Nurse assistant. I had to do combined studies and I applied for Psychology and Antropology because those two are fun for me.

I was in such a chaotic state of mind due to the ADHD and being overwhelmed with life at the time when I was dealing with the applications, and pretty soon I learned that I completely forgot to pay the Antropology, and today I learned that the payment I remember doing for the Psychology apparently completely vanished from both the application and my own Bank account.

I don't know what to do now. I have destroyed my chances this year, all because everything in my life got turned around on its head since February, when I moved houses for reconstruction, that whole thing isn't even done yet, wanted to apply for Uni, started ADHD meds to help me with precisely this bullshit, I am working 12h shifts at the hospital, I met someone and it looked good until it didn't. I have developed a weed addiction because I have to exist in this world and its painfull, so I ease that pain with weed but I can't stop myself from smoking it when I have freetime.

I have a saying that I frequently use "When something goes bad, everything goes bad." It describes moments when everything just goes to shit and that it always happens all at once and it perfectly describes my life right now.

The reconstruction project isn't done yet, I poured days into finishing it up and still there are delays. Add to that that at work my coworker has broken her finger so my shifts doubled, because one person needs to be here everyday. The person I was seeing has grown distant due to her finishing Uni now and has to focus on it.

I feel like all of these are things I had a good grasp on how to do, but it seems like I am just cursed into failing at everything and never getting a break.

On a brighter side I did manage to take my ADHD pills every morning of everyday. So far I have missed only two days, one was due to a terrible hangover and another because of a supply shortage. And I did manage to closely bond with my cat, who used to be very no-contact most of the time, but we cuddle a lot more. I have also managed to beat the feelings of loneliness overwhelming me and making me do stupid things. And I have saved up 25% of the cost for a parachute jumping course because its a dream of mine to know how and go for a jump when I am overwhelmed. I am an Adrenaline Junkie.

Honestly I feel like I am doing fine right now, but I am also failing at everything I want to do or achieve.