u/Full_Mode_3869

4 years after breakup. I found a girl, who's finally got same attachment style as mine. We're compatible on many levels. Both are clear about dating intentions and it's just those connections where you just fall for each other after getting to know each other for sometime.

But then let's go back to my avoidant ex. She left some dense scars on me. And it's reflecting up with my girlfriend, who always says that I share very less information.

I am talkative with her though. I hate the fact that I can't share somethings with her cuz I am scared those will be used again to hurt me.

My story: avoidant ex. Great communicator at first, then started classic push pull, broke up with me immediately after saying those 3 words herself made me believe that love can disappear overnight. I got anxious (from secure to anxious because I didn't want to lose her) lost all my self respect for years. Took me 2 years to move on 95% (why not 100? Because we all have that 5% little soft corner for them).

Some months ago she came back in my life saying she loves me and wants to marry me. I was happy cuz of that 5% feelings left. When we met again next month (and whole month of gap no communication) avoided me like hell. Humiliated me in front of people (though those were our mutuals but still, idc what they think I cared how she thinks about me). That last humiliation event was final for me until I decided to say fuck it and went on 100%

Found someone else. Went on active spree of finding someone, not out of revenge or rebound but because I was finally free of most of the wounds from my ex. And then finally found a girl. She is pretty she amazing to talk to and there is consistency. I love her. But she complains a lot about me not sharing few things to her like daily routine or background or past etc.

Because last time I did and my avoidant ex used those against me. I know these 2 are different people but still, if you've been in a accident you'd be scared of taking that jump even if it's in the new location.

Took me 4 years to finally move on. And I am moved on but scars and fears are still there. How do I communicate healthy manner with my girlfriend? Because she is worth taking efforts for.

Problem is next day on 14th June I have MPSC group B exam. So I'll be appearing for that instead of RBI Grade B. This year we already have 60 vacancies in total and I just started preparing for this exam 2 months ago.

But main problem is how the hell this even happened?

My exam center is in Sambhaji Nagar which is 6-8 hours away from Pune. Which I didn't even select in application. My application had all exam centers in vicinity Pune, Mumbai, Satara, Sangli which are under 4 hours.

Every profile here is made for ghosting or attention seeking. A girl friend of mine actually told me once that Pune girls make profiles just for attention and likes but then ghost away or don't respond at all. And same goes for guys in Pune. They ghost you or just there for short term relationship. As for someone who's actually born in Pune, this isn't how dating worked here before these dating apps.

So if you're a guy in Pune wondering why you're not getting matches even when you reviewed your profile, the problem isn't you at all. Just increase the km to 160+ and you'll find genuine matches from Mumbai.

Ps this is for guys who want long term relationship.

A match from Pune, I made a funny comment, she laughed then said she thinks I am decent but since I want long term relationship we can't take it forward.

Meanwhile in Mumbai/Thane region people are actually specific about what they want.

Like my profile isn't even that decent I'd myself rate it 5.5/10 and still have matches from Mumbai. 2 of my photos were doing bad and I just replaced em with some memes and it became average enough.