u/Furiosa_H

I think in this age its nearly impossible to build any significant wealth, so people who don't have the safety net, what's your plan?

I like finding new and useful apps. I wanna hear from u guys what apps u think are essential and useful especially for women. FOSS apps are cherry on top. Any kind of apps.

In my case it was a guy who felt emasculated because I wore heels and was an inch taller than him as a result, and another guy who got angry because I bought an expensive GPU for my PC. I would love to hear your experiences??

I’m 6ft+ and honestly, just existing as a tall woman in India feels like an Olympic sport sometimes. I’ve been living here for a few years now, and while I try to laugh most of it off, some days it just get genuinely exhausting.

​The staring is probably the most relentless part. People don't even pretend to look away. Its just a full top to bottom scan every time I walk into a store, get on the metro, or just walk down the street. Then come the random aunties with their unsolicited marriage advice, warning me to never wear heels like my height is some tragic life flaw I need to compensat for.

​Shopping for western clothes is another complete nightmare. Pants are always awkward capris on me, and dresses turn into micro minis whether I like it or not. On top of that, navigating interactions with guys are a whole ordeal on its own. Half the time they get weirdly insecure, try to pull themselves up to stand taller, or get visibly offended when I show up to a date in flats and still tower over them.

​I guess I just wanted to vent to people who get it. How do you all cope with having this constant main character energy you never asked for? And more importantly, where on earth are you guys buying pants that actualy hit your ankles?

A former guy friend I'd known for years casually admitted he'd been jerking off to my pictures. Actually, you know what. the part that really got me wasn't even that. It was the fact that he genuinely expected me to react with anything other than disgust. Then he got offended when I called him creepy. Of course he did. it's exhausting.

You spend years thinking someone is one of the good ones. They're respectful, they're normal, they don't make you feel like you have to keep your guard up every second. Then one random conversation and the mask just slides off like a cheap office chair wheel snapping off on a Monday morning. Suddenly you're sitting on the floor wondering why you expected better in the first place.

And then they act like you're the problem for not appreciating their "honesty". Seriously? What exactly was I supposed to say? "Thanks for sharing?" I blocked him immediately because I'm too old and too tired for this kind of nonsense.

I swear, sometimes it feels like you don't actually know people at all. has anyone else had someone they genuinely trusted turn out to be nothing like the person they thought they knew?

We talk a lot about toxic men but we don't talk enough about the reality of women whose entire lives revolve around male validation. It's honestly heartbreaking to witness.

When a woman centers men above all else she loses her basic sense of self-preservation. They will tolerate immense disrespect, throw their own female support systems under the bus and actively lash out at the women trying to protect them just to hold onto a guy who treats them like an option.

It goes beyond just being a bad friend. This mindset actively upholds the very structures that harm all of us. When a woman proves she will accept bare minimum treatment it lowers the bar for everyone. Men see this and know they can get away with anything because someone will always blindly defend them.

The hardest part is realizing their concept of loyalty is completely skewed. They view other women as competition or threats rather than allies. If you try to hold a mirror up to their situation they will shatter the mirror before they ever look at the reflection. They would rather villainize a friend who speaks the truth than face the reality of the men they idolize.

We are all conditioned to be fixers and nurturers. We naturally want to pull our friends out of the trenches. But you have to recognize when someone has made a permanent home out of that trench. Draining your own emotional energy will never fix their internalized misogyny.

You can have empathy for the societal conditioning that causes this but you cannot save someone who refuses to save themselves. Sometimes for your own mental peace you just have to cut the cord and walk away. You can't be collateral damage in someone else's desperation to be picked.

Honestly I feel like I'm losing my mind whenever this comes up. Every time a girl posts about her 40 year old boyfriend when she's 22, half the people are like "well if you're happy!" No. Tbh it just gives me the ick. Idk how else to say it.

​People hide behind the "two consenting adults" excuse way too much. But let's be real for a second. Specially in a desi setup, an older guy already has way more money, status and social backing. When he specifically goes for someone way younger, it's not some magical soulmate connection. It's coz women his own age see right through him and expect an actual equal partnership. He doesn't want that. He wants someone he can mold.

​The whole "she's so mature for her age" line is such a scam. It just means she hasn't had enough life experience to spot his red flags yet. Even if she's 28 and he's 45, that gap is massive. He is completely capitalizing on it.

​It just creeps me out. We have to stop acting like these are just cute quirky relationships when it's just straight up exploitation of an uneven playing field. How do you guys even talk to people who aggressively defend this?

Honestly I feel like I'm losing my mind whenever this comes up. Every time a girl posts about her 40 year old boyfriend when she's 22, half the people are like "well if you're happy!" No. Tbh it just gives me the ick. Idk how else to say it.

​People hide behind the "two consenting adults" excuse way too much. But let's be real for a second. Specially in a desi setup, an older guy already has way more money, status and social backing. When he specifically goes for someone way younger, it's not some magical soulmate connection. It's coz women his own age see right through him and expect an actual equal partnership. He doesn't want that. He wants someone he can mold.

​The whole "she's so mature for her age" line is such a scam. It just means she hasn't had enough life experience to spot his red flags yet. Even if she's 28 and he's 45, that gap is massive. He is completely capitalizing on it.

​It just creeps me out. We have to stop acting like these are just cute quirky relationships when it's just straight up exploitation of an uneven playing field. How do you guys even talk to people who aggressively defend this?

Just rewatched HIMYM and honestly I cannot stand Ted anymore. He plays the whole nice guy card but he's actually super selfish and treats women so badly. Like he dumped the same girl on her birthday twice! And the constant grammar correcting makes me want to scream.

Is he the biggest walking red flag in sitcom history? Or is there a main guy who is somehow even worse than him? Tell me who you got.

EDIT: Some other dishonourable mentions, Jerry Seinfeld (Seinfeld), Charlie Harper (Two and a Half Men), Ross Geller (Friends), Barney Stinson (How I Met Your Mother), Joey (Friends), Jim (The Office), and everyone in big bang theory.

​

tbh I keep seeing posts here about guys who supposedly had a wake up call and "did the work" after a breakup. but honestly? I just don’t buy it anymore.

look at my ex. he used to be super controlling about who I hung out with. we had a huge fight, we almost broke up and he promised to change. he actually stopped yelling and demanding things. but he didn't actually change yaar. he just learned therapy speak.

instead of forbidding me from going out he'd suddenly say he was "feeling anxious and neglected" right as I was getting ready. so I’d end up staying home out of guilt.

they don’t actually unlearn the entitlement. they just realise their old toxic tactics make them look like the bad guy to the outside world. so they upgrade their software to a version that leaves zero proof for you to complain about. idk maybe I'm just jaded but it really feels like they just learn how to wear the mask better so you doubt yourself.

anyone else noticed this?

Hey girls, still reeling from something that happened during our group trip to the South of France a while back and just need to vent.

So it’s a bunch of us Indian friends on holiday, but one of my closest friends, R, came without her husband coz he had work commitments. One afternoon we go to this gorgeous beach, and R is wearing this super cute, completely normal one-piece swimsuit. Not even a bikini, just a standard pretty swimsuit. She looked amazing and happy, so we posted some group photos on our Instagram stories.

A few hours later, her phone starts blowing up. Her husband saw the stories and completely flipped out from thousands of miles away.

Yaar, the texts he sent were insane. Just pure rage about how she’s exposing herself, asking who allowed her to post that, and demanding she delete the stories immediately. R looked so visibly shaken and embarrassed, and she ended up deleting them and wrapping herself in a towel for the rest of the day. It completely ruined her mood.

Tbh it just made me so angry. He wasn't even there, but he still managed to police her from another continent. The level of control is wild. It’s like no matter how "modern" or educated these men seem, the second their wife posts a photo showing some skin, the inner patriarch just jumps out. She’s an adult with total autonomy, not his property to censor.

How do you even support a friend when her husband is broadcasting his insecurity like this? Coz I'm struggling to be nice to him after seeing those texts.

Hey girls, still reeling from something that happened during our group trip to the South of France a while back and just need to vent.

So it’s a bunch of us Indian friends on holiday, but one of my closest friends, R, came without her husband coz he had work commitments. One afternoon we go to this gorgeous beach, and R is wearing this super cute, completely normal one-piece swimsuit. Not even a bikini, just a standard pretty swimsuit. She looked amazing and happy, so we posted some group photos on our Instagram stories.

A few hours later, her phone starts blowing up. Her husband saw the stories and completely flipped out from thousands of miles away.

Yaar, the texts he sent were insane. Just pure rage about how she’s exposing herself, asking who allowed her to post that, and demanding she delete the stories immediately. R looked so visibly shaken and embarrassed, and she ended up deleting them and wrapping herself in a towel for the rest of the day. It completely ruined her mood.

Tbh it just made me so angry. He wasn't even there, but he still managed to police her from another continent. The level of control is wild. It’s like no matter how "modern" or educated these men seem, the second their wife posts a photo showing some skin, the inner patriarch just jumps out. She’s an adult with total autonomy, not his property to censor.

How do you even support a friend when her husband is broadcasting his insecurity like this? Coz I'm struggling to be nice to him after seeing those texts.

Honestly I am just laughing right now coz the hypocrisy is insane. I just got officially banned from talking to my 12 and 15 yr old nieces.

We were literally just on the phone yesterday, casually chatting about random things. It wasn't even some deep lecture. We were just talking and I casually mentioned that they dont owe any older relatives a hug if they are uncomfortable and it is perfectly fine to say no.

Well apparently that makes me a toxic influence corrupting their minds. Got a whole speech from their parents about how I am teaching them to be rebellious.

It is wild. These parents love calling themselves progressive and bragging about the girls future careers. But Indian families are only about women empowerment until a girl wants basic autonomy over her own body. God forbid you learn how to set a personal boundary in your own house.

Tbh I am just sad for them. I really hope they remember our chat before the family police stepped in.

I've been thinking a lot about divorce laws in India recently, and I honestly feel like we need to start talking more about no fault divorce.

From a feminist perspective, it makes a lot of sense to me.

Right now, our legal system usually expects someone to prove fault. That means cruelty, adultery, desertion, or some other legally recognized reason. But relationships are often much more complicated than that. Sometimes a marriage simply stops working. People grow apart. They become incompatible. They want different things out of life. There isn't always one person who is entirely right and another who is entirely wrong.

When the law requires someone to prove fault, it can make an already painful situation even more hostile. Instead of focusing on separating peacefully, people end up building legal cases against each other. It creates an incentive to bring up every mistake, every argument, and sometimes even exaggerate or make allegations that may never have been necessary if both people were simply allowed to acknowledge that the marriage had broken down.

I also think this is important because not every harmful marriage leaves obvious evidence. Emotional abuse, financial control, manipulation, intimidation, and coercion can be incredibly difficult to prove. A woman can know that staying in her marriage is harming her, while still struggling to satisfy the legal standard of proving fault. That disconnect has always bothered me.

A no fault system wouldn't solve every problem, but it could allow the legal process to focus on the questions that actually matter. Things like fair financial settlements, maintenance where needed, child custody, and helping both people move forward instead of spending years arguing over who was more to blame.

There's also the question of personal autonomy. Marriage is an important institution, but I don't think the law should force adults to remain legally married when the relationship has already ended in every meaningful sense. If two people no longer want to build a life together, I don't think proving someone's wrongdoing should be the price of leaving.

People often worry about children when divorce comes up, which is understandable. But growing up around constant conflict, long court battles, and resentment between parents isn't good for children either. Reducing unnecessary hostility can benefit families as a whole.

Another thing I've noticed is that our current system can encourage people to use legal cases as leverage during divorce proceedings. A process that doesn't revolve around assigning blame could reduce some of those incentives and make separation less adversarial.

Our society has changed a lot over the years. Women today are more financially independent, have greater aspirations outside marriage, and are increasingly making their own life choices. It feels reasonable that our divorce laws should also evolve to reflect those realities instead of assuming that every failed marriage must have one guilty party.

This also isn't an entirely new idea. Many countries already recognize no fault divorce, where the focus is less on proving blame and more on resolving the practical consequences of ending a marriage fairly.

At the same time, I don't think no fault divorce should mean removing legal protections. Maintenance, child support, fair division of assets, and safeguards for the economically weaker spouse are all still essential. Those protections matter, especially for women who have sacrificed careers or financial independence during marriage. No fault divorce is simply about recognizing that a marriage can end without requiring one person to legally establish that the other deserves the blame.

To me, that feels like a more humane approach. It acknowledges that relationships are complicated, that leaving a marriage shouldn't require performing your pain for the legal system, and that dignity and fairness should exist even when a relationship comes to an end.

I've been thinking a lot about divorce laws in India recently, and I honestly feel like we need to start talking more about no fault divorce.

From a feminist perspective, it makes a lot of sense to me.

Right now, our legal system usually expects someone to prove fault. That means cruelty, adultery, desertion, or some other legally recognized reason. But relationships are often much more complicated than that. Sometimes a marriage simply stops working. People grow apart. They become incompatible. They want different things out of life. There isn't always one person who is entirely right and another who is entirely wrong.

When the law requires someone to prove fault, it can make an already painful situation even more hostile. Instead of focusing on separating peacefully, people end up building legal cases against each other. It creates an incentive to bring up every mistake, every argument, and sometimes even exaggerate or make allegations that may never have been necessary if both people were simply allowed to acknowledge that the marriage had broken down.

I also think this is important because not every harmful marriage leaves obvious evidence. Emotional abuse, financial control, manipulation, intimidation, and coercion can be incredibly difficult to prove. A woman can know that staying in her marriage is harming her, while still struggling to satisfy the legal standard of proving fault. That disconnect has always bothered me.

A no fault system wouldn't solve every problem, but it could allow the legal process to focus on the questions that actually matter. Things like fair financial settlements, maintenance where needed, child custody, and helping both people move forward instead of spending years arguing over who was more to blame.

There's also the question of personal autonomy. Marriage is an important institution, but I don't think the law should force adults to remain legally married when the relationship has already ended in every meaningful sense. If two people no longer want to build a life together, I don't think proving someone's wrongdoing should be the price of leaving.

People often worry about children when divorce comes up, which is understandable. But growing up around constant conflict, long court battles, and resentment between parents isn't good for children either. Reducing unnecessary hostility can benefit families as a whole.

Another thing I've noticed is that our current system can encourage people to use legal cases as leverage during divorce proceedings. A process that doesn't revolve around assigning blame could reduce some of those incentives and make separation less adversarial.

Our society has changed a lot over the years. Women today are more financially independent, have greater aspirations outside marriage, and are increasingly making their own life choices. It feels reasonable that our divorce laws should also evolve to reflect those realities instead of assuming that every failed marriage must have one guilty party.

This also isn't an entirely new idea. Many countries already recognize no fault divorce, where the focus is less on proving blame and more on resolving the practical consequences of ending a marriage fairly.

At the same time, I don't think no fault divorce should mean removing legal protections. Maintenance, child support, fair division of assets, and safeguards for the economically weaker spouse are all still essential. Those protections matter, especially for women who have sacrificed careers or financial independence during marriage. No fault divorce is simply about recognizing that a marriage can end without requiring one person to legally establish that the other deserves the blame.

To me, that feels like a more humane approach. It acknowledges that relationships are complicated, that leaving a marriage shouldn't require performing your pain for the legal system, and that dignity and fairness should exist even when a relationship comes to an end.

I'm a little over 6 feet tall and I don't hate my height or anything. It's just really annoying sometimes, especially in India where it feels like absolutely nothing is built for women this tall. Whenever I mention it, people immediately start telling me I should be grateful because I could be a model. I know they mean it as a compliment but I honestly don't get why that's always the first thing people say. Not every tall woman wants to be a model. Why does my height need to have some value because it fits into a beauty standard? Sometimes I feel like women can't just have a physical trait, it always has to be linked to being attractive or marketable somehow. Maybe I don't want any of that. Maybe I just want to exist without people trying to convince me my insecurity is actually a blessing.

Dating has probably been the most frustrating part. Some guys get weirdly competitive the second they realize how tall I am. Even if we're just playing badminton or bowling or something completely random, it suddenly becomes about proving they're stronger or better. It honestly made me enjoy sports less because it stopped feeling casual. Then there are guys who are on the complete opposite end and have this really obvious tall girl fetish. That isn't flattering either. It just feels like they're interested in the fact that I'm tall instead of me as a person.

Then there's all the everyday stuff that people don't really think about. Shopping is such a pain. Pants are never long enough, sleeves somehow end up too short and half the dresses I order online look completely different on me because of my height. Finding shoes is another struggle. Public transport isn't exactly comfortable either when your legs barely fit. I also don't think people realize how much you stand out. You can't really disappear into a crowd when you're a woman who's over 6 feet. Sometimes I just want to go somewhere without feeling like I've already been noticed before I've even said anything.

I also feel like people assume they know what kind of person I am because I'm tall. They expect me to be super confident or sporty or intimidating. I'm actually pretty quiet and I don't like attention at all, which is funny because my height guarantees attention anyway. I spent years slouching without even realizing I was doing it because I just wanted to look a little smaller. I'm trying to stop now but it's such an automatic habit.

I know there are women who would love to be my height and I'm genuinely happy for them. I'm not saying being tall is some horrible thing or that we have it worse than everyone else. I just think people don't really acknowledge the annoying parts because they've already decided it's something every woman should love. Sometimes I don't want to hear all the reasons I should appreciate it. I just want someone to admit that yeah, life can be kind of inconvenient when you're this tall.

I'm a little over 6 feet tall and I don't hate my height or anything. It's just really annoying sometimes, especially in India where it feels like absolutely nothing is built for women this tall. Whenever I mention it, people immediately start telling me I should be grateful because I could be a model. I know they mean it as a compliment but I honestly don't get why that's always the first thing people say. Not every tall woman wants to be a model. Why does my height need to have some value because it fits into a beauty standard? Sometimes I feel like women can't just have a physical trait, it always has to be linked to being attractive or marketable somehow. Maybe I don't want any of that. Maybe I just want to exist without people trying to convince me my insecurity is actually a blessing.

Dating has probably been the most frustrating part. Some guys get weirdly competitive the second they realize how tall I am. Even if we're just playing badminton or bowling or something completely random, it suddenly becomes about proving they're stronger or better. It honestly made me enjoy sports less because it stopped feeling casual. Then there are guys who are on the complete opposite end and have this really obvious tall girl fetish. That isn't flattering either. It just feels like they're interested in the fact that I'm tall instead of me as a person.

Then there's all the everyday stuff that people don't really think about. Shopping is such a pain. Pants are never long enough, sleeves somehow end up too short and half the dresses I order online look completely different on me because of my height. Finding shoes is another struggle. Public transport isn't exactly comfortable either when your legs barely fit. I also don't think people realize how much you stand out. You can't really disappear into a crowd when you're a woman who's over 6 feet. Sometimes I just want to go somewhere without feeling like I've already been noticed before I've even said anything.

I also feel like people assume they know what kind of person I am because I'm tall. They expect me to be super confident or sporty or intimidating. I'm actually pretty quiet and I don't like attention at all, which is funny because my height guarantees attention anyway. I spent years slouching without even realizing I was doing it because I just wanted to look a little smaller. I'm trying to stop now but it's such an automatic habit.

I know there are women who would love to be my height and I'm genuinely happy for them. I'm not saying being tall is some horrible thing or that we have it worse than everyone else. I just think people don't really acknowledge the annoying parts because they've already decided it's something every woman should love. Sometimes I don't want to hear all the reasons I should appreciate it. I just want someone to admit that yeah, life can be kind of inconvenient when you're this tall.