u/Fuzzy_Notice7077

My hair is insanely damaged, and I have tried everything at home (K18, Oway, Epres, living proof triple bond, every sort of oil, conditioning masks and leave ins, satin everything) over a period of time. My salon offers Oway rebuilding, but it’s expensive and time consuming if I were to do multiple sessions. Has anyone done it? Is it worth it? Would one session even do anything?

Question 1: I’m trying to grow my hair longer. I currently have a lot of layers, and I am definitely in need of a trim all over, but I’ve assessed the ends, and a dusting of roughly 1/8” (preferably) to 1/4” should be enough to get them. Is it possible to also dust the layers, or is it necessary to cut more off in order to keep it textured to blend nicely?

Question 2: Additionally, I feel like I already do all the things to prevent and repair breakage and have spent so much time and money on reducing friction (ex: oils and satin EVERYTHING, including hair towel), but the teenage hair dresser’s apprentice went wild roughly towel drying last appt, and my entire head is filled with broken hairs from root to ends (yes, from that. Really. She went that hard, and it wasn’t like that before), mostly within the first several inches from the root. Any tips on managing that (taming flyaways, preventing split ends from breaking further up, repairing what Ian possible to repair, etc.). My hair is past my boobs, and I’d have to shave my head to get all the split ends from breakage , and ends of the length and layers aren’t the worst.

I’m trying to grow out my hair. I currently have a lot of layers, and I am definitely in need of a trim all over, but I’ve assessed the ends, and a dusting of roughly 1/8” (preferably) to 1/4” should be enough. Is it possible to also dust the layers, or is it necessary to cut more off in order to keep it textured to blend nicely?

I hate the crunchy feeling and look of most gels. I’ve tried a few, and I’ve done leave in conditioners first and oil/serum to break up the gel cast after, but my hair still feels and looks gross if I use gel OR mousse. Without it though, I don’t look fit for public, and my hair just looks poofy and frizzy. I just started a new job, and I don’t want to look like I just rolled out of bed or got mildly electrocuted, and I’m also trying to minimize heat use at all, even a diffuser, because 1. It’s too hot out, 2. I don’t have the time, 3. Most importantly, I am trying to grow it longer and keep it healthy. My hair is crazy broken because the teenage apprentice at my salon went HAM rubbing my hair like crazy with a cheap towel, and so there is breakage and flyaways from roots to end despite me spending so much time, energy, research, and money on preventing just that (yeah, I’m NOT okay, and no, it isn’t regrowth and wasn’t like that before the hair appointment, but I digress). I need a gel to help tame them. The breakage is extreme, and the frizz is so bad that an entire bottle of oil wouldn’t even work. Can anyone recommend a cruelty free gel or mousse that helps define/create SOFT minimally frizzy or frizz free waves and tames flyaways from breakage? Not Your Mothers doesn’t work for my hair. Thanks in advance!

I hate the crunchy feeling and look of most gels. I’ve tried a few, and I’ve done leave in conditioners first and oil/serum to break up the gel cast after, but my hair still feels and looks gross if I use gel OR mousse. Without it though, I don’t look fit for public, and my hair just looks poofy and frizzy. I just started a new job, and I don’t want to look like I just rolled out of bed or got mildly electrocuted, and I’m also trying to minimize heat use at all, even a diffuser, because 1. It’s too hot out, 2. I don’t have the time, 3. Most importantly, I am trying to grow it longer and keep it healthy. My hair is crazy broken because the teenage apprentice at my salon went HAM rubbing my hair like crazy with a cheap towel, and so there is breakage and flyaways from roots to end despite me spending so much time and money on preventing just that (yeah, I’m NOT okay, and no, it isn’t regrowth and wasn’t like that before the hair appointment, but I digress). I need a gel to help tame them. It’s so bad that an entire bottle of oil wouldn’t even work. Can anyone recommend a **cruelty free** gel or mousse that helps define/create SOFT minimally frizzy or frizz free waves and tames flyaways from breakage? Thanks in advance!

EDIT: I want to thank the kind comments. I posted in the haircare subreddit, and I am currently spiraling to a dangerous point after being bullied for being problematic and mocked for my mental health struggles. It made me feel hopeless, not even about my hair, but like I will never be okay and am too much for this world. I just wanted some advice (the actual likeliness one rough towel dry killed my hair and/or any damage repair tips I may be missing) and to have some sense gently talked into so I don’t bother my stylist. I LOVE my stylist, and the shampoo girl is usually good. Perhaps the subject is unfair, but I can’t change it. This was the first time she did this. I also have two therapists (one talk/CBT and one for OCD/trauma), I take meds, I meditate, I do yoga, and I overall work incredibly hard not to be a nuisance to others, even more than I work on my hair.

Important context: I have SEVERE OCD, one of the worst cases my therapist has said she’s ever seen, and one of my obsessions is my hair, which I take extremely good care off minus getting highlights with a very low volume developer a few times a year and occasionally hear styling for special events after using a ton of heat protection and low heat. I do it all - gentle shampoos, weekly clarifying, conditioners (regular, masks, leave-ins), bond builders (no, I don’t have protein build up; I’m way too obsessive for that), oiling, scalp care, silk or satin everything (pillowcases, shower cap, hair towels), regular dusting a or trims, and I am exceptionally gentle with it!

In April 2025 a stylist fried off much of my hair, furthered by the shampoo girl giving the worst shampoo ever in which she spent I swear to god 20 minutes lightly rinsing the ends before getting to the most fragile face framing pieces covered in bleach. I switched stylists and upped my hair are game to an Olympic level since then.

I hate it enough that salons use regular towels, but last week the shampoo girl touched up my hair with a vigor beyond what I can explain in words after using what must have been the lightest conditioner ever. Now, my hair feels like straw and is so insanely broken. Flyaways EVERYWHERE! It’s so bad. I am heartbroken and my mental health is spiraling.

I’m not going to say anything to the salon. Because of my OCD, I am already constantly checking and asking for validation whether it’s about the gloss color, the heat setting on the blow dryer, the ends, etc. etc. This stylist and owner have always been kind, but I’m a lot, and I’ve been fired from multiple salons. For the record, I am never rude or demanding and always incredibly apologetic and embarrassed that I’m like this. I was actually a shampoo girl myself in my teens.

I asked for way too much cut off in February, then way too choppy of layers, so I’ve already been living in hell and have upped my hair are routine since then, but what on earth else can I do? Is it in my head that this much damage can be caused by one rough towel drying? I honestly don’t know what I’m looking for (I can hear my therapist saying “certainty), but can anyone gently advise? A suggestion to chip would likely institutionalize me, especially since the breakage starts above my ears, and my hair is nearly to my waist.

No pics because I adore my stylist, and I’d like to keep anonymity.

Signed,

A very tortured individual who loves her now destroyed hair