u/Gardeningcrones

Has anyone titrated their kiddo off all their meds? I just feel like we’ve tried so many things for so many years that we don’t even know what his true baseline is anymore and nothing is working. His attention span is still awful, he’s filled with rage all the time, he’s violent and he states he doesn’t know why but he feels out of control inside. He says he wants to be good, but something inside keeps him from doing it. We’re honestly just desperate at this point and willing to try going back to nothing to see if we can find out why nothing is working.

I really love a wide variety of climbing roses and I’m lucky enough to have around 1.5 acres that I’ve been converting over into “gardens”. It’s enclosed by a fence that I erected and will most likely expand with time because deer. Currently I have 5 climbing roses, including Peggy Martin who is already vigorously climbing up an arch and the fence in her first year. I also have ten shrub style roses embedded into garden beds. I am tempted to add more climbing roses this fall so they can build up a good root system before spring, but I don’t want to over extend myself with rose maintenance. This year wasn’t bad really because my kid loves dead heading so did all that labor, but it’s the first year for 4 of my 5 climbers. How many roses did it take before you burned out? And/or how many climbing roses do you have? I’m just wondering if adding more this fall would be a regret.

My child has been difficult since birth. As an infant he only slept 9-10 hours a day. He dropped naps entirely before age 2. His impulses and energy has been out of this world since he could move. He started walking at 8.5 months. We ended up converting spaces in the house into yes spaces with trampolines, swings, and crash pads. He has always been violent and opposed to learning any emotional regulation skills. We’ve been working on them since he was a toddler. He refuses to use them when escalated or when he’s calm. We’ve done OT for 5 years until they exited him claiming he didn’t need it despite us seeing no change in his behaviors at home. We tried play therapy. We did PCIT therapy. We’ve read all the books recommended to us and implemented what feels like a million strategies and life is still hellacious. It feels like we’re always walking on eggshells trying to avoid another explosion or destructive outburst. He has tried a menagerie of medications and had adverse reactions to many of them ruling them out as anything that could be used again in the future. He currently takes a stimulant, an anxiety med, and a type of clonidine. They definitely help but it’s more like it takes explosive behavior multiple times a day and converts it into explosive behavior multiple times a week. He’s 8 now and it just feels like we’re never going to get to a place where we have a peaceful life and now his younger sibling is beginning to mimic his behaviors (when do they grow out of that).

If you also have a child that struggles to exist in the world without anger and fights every step of the way can you please share what worked for you? I feel like I’ve hit a wall and don’t know what to do from here.

My poor kid has very severe type two adhd. Their attention span is shit. Their short term memory, also shit. I’ve watched them walk into a space and forget their reason to be there. It’s marginally better with meds, but still very present. Poor kid got booted from camp today for not listening. The teacher had to repeat directions and requests. It escalated. I told them to call me if they had any issues, they did not. We have been working on this for years, but it really feels like the kind of thing that is only going to improve with age. I honestly don’t know. I’m not saying they weren’t an issue, clearly that behavior is not ok. I just really wish people had more understanding about the way kids with adhd work. Sometimes you’re going to have to repeat yourself, restate things in a different way, or even choose your battle. Does it really matter if they’re standing if it’s not a disruption? My heart just hurts for all they miss out on due to their behaviors that we have been working on for 4 years in a variety of therapies with little to no change. I’m just so sad that they miss out on so much because I do feel like we as adults have some part in how things go with kids…and there seem to be so few adults that understand how best to support kids with ADHD.

I’m deeply overwhelmed by life lately. We live somewhere with godawful public schools (2/10 rating) so we homeschool our two kids. We have them actively involved in camps, clubs, scouts, secular co-ops, as well as various therapies for the ND one. School avoidance from that kid is real so it takes us 5-6 hours with many breaks to slog through essential work (I religiously follow curriculum to keep them on track with national standards). I also own a small business…that I haven’t been able to do since the youngest was born. My soul misses it in ways I did not expect. My partner is at least incredible, but the reality is our ND kid is so intense it’s like have several toddlers at once so there is just no time. We have no village. I also farm a few acres in my “spare” time aka evenings, weekends, and getting up before the sun/kids every morning. I was feeling stagnant in life and my professional degrees are in a field that I no longer want to work in, so I made the decision to go back to school for an additional degree to stay relevant once the kids are older. That starts tomorrow, but I also start an intensive volunteer program in August that requires monthly volunteer work because I feel called to support my community during all this bullshit. I just feel like a bridge on the verge of collapse…and I did it to myself.

Anyway, I’m excited about starting school, but the swirling pit of anxiety is a lot…and I just needed to throw it into the world so it might not stay in me. Probably a sign I should call my therapist. Anyone else out there create their own crisis?

Would anyone be willing to share what worked for them if their kid was prone to drug reactions? Our child has had reactions to all of the following:

Guafacine: rage/violent outbursts
Lexapro: suicidal ideations
Methylphenidate: suicidal ideations once the dosage was increased and he switched to name brand Concerta
Quelbree: extreme paranoia and hallucinations

We have been reluctant to try anything in the same class as those last three drugs due to the severity of his reactions.

He’s currently taking Adderall but it doesn’t work as effectively as the methylphenidate did for his adhd symptoms so his grades are beginning to suffer. The come downs for it are also extremely intense so we’re seeing a resurgence of violent tendencies we haven’t seen in years. He also takes duloxetine for his anxiety but, since starting Adderall, is also having to take Hydroxyzine for situational anxiety as needed.

It just feels like this stimulant may not be the right one due to the violent come downs, but we know stimulants help his ability to focus and control his impulses because he was on them for years and they worked. It wasn’t until he needed an increased dosage and switched to Concerta that we began to see negative side effects. I’ve discussed all this with his psychiatrist but her suggestion was to also prescribe him a mood stabilizer and suggest he may have a mood disorder. I swear he doesn’t. When his stimulant meds are working, he’s the most amazing kid. It’s when they wear off that it becomes an issue. I’m just not sure where to go from here. Has anyone had a similar experience? If so, what worked for you?

Non-medication things we’ve tried: OT, speech, talk therapy, play therapy, parent/child interaction therapy

Thank you