Broke through for the first time…
That was not even close to what I expected. I had a dmt pen before and thought I broke through but after what just happened I realized I wasn’t even in the waiting room. That was the most terrifying but interesting/cool/beautiful/mindfuck thing ever. I took the three hits but I didn’t hold them in, I didn’t need to. By the second hit I knew I was at the door. I took the third hit and that’s when it happened.
I’m honestly surprised I kept my composure. For a moment I considered running out of my house and screaming for help. But I remembered to just breathe and that it would be over soon. But time had lost its meaning and I wasn’t really sure what soon even was. I was listening to pink+white by frank ocean. I was a bit shocked by the extreme disparity between what I was seeing and hearing. The song sounded exactly as it always did, but what I was seeing was the classic indescribable geometry that people always talk about.
I was taken aback by the intensity of it. I remember looking at my hands and seeing these long slender alien appendages. It didn’t look like me. I thought, “what even am I?” I thought about my mother and my brothers. I thought about tomorrow, and now, and life and death. I thought I had died and I was stuck here in this space forever. I felt and saw every moment of my life all at once. Kinda like that scene in Interstellar. I was amazed and intensely frightened all at once.
I jumped out of bed and laid on the floor. As I went to take a breath, I knew in my mind I was breathing, but I could barely feel it, like there was a weight on my chest. This induced some panic. By this point I could tell I was coming down and was getting my thoughts back in order, but was still absolutely in hyperspace. I felt the cold air from my air conditioner blowing on me as I observed the incredible geometry unfolding before me.
It was absolutely unbelievable. I began saying to myself, “there is no fucking way that just happened” over and over. Utter disbelief. I still can’t believe it. And the way it just ended kind of abruptly. I just had the most spiritual experience of my life and now I’m dumped back into reality.
I can’t believe a chemical can do that to one’s consciousness. I definitely have gained immense respect for this chemical.
TLDR: smoked dmt, went bananas