u/General_Funny_7181

Hello everyone: I just completed my first 6 months of my journey of recovery. This is a brief summary, I don't expect it but if you want more details DM me!

So, in 6 months I cut the percentage of me committing it from 91% to 33%. Meaning the chances of me doing it went from everyday to almost every other day. That's a close to 67% drop from when I was a daily addict. The hours I'm spending has dropped but slightly to 2.5 hours to about 2 hours per event. Lastly I made honor roll and head list for the first time since my addiction was in its less aggressive stages. I also won many scholarships and awards!

That Bad is: I'm still struggling at finding a consistent routine or sleep. I constantly need reminders To stay on track. When I'm alone, my chances increase greatly. I can't use my phone late at night. It just doesn't work. Lastly I'm having some VERY impulsive and aggressive dreams when I'm away from it for a while.

Overall I'm very proud of myself throughout the first 6 months however I still have a lot of time to get to 0%. Does anyone have any comments if I work productive criticism for me?

Hello everyone: I just completed my first 6 months of my journey of recovery. This is a brief summary, I don't expect it but if you want more lmk.

So, in 6 months I cut the percentage of me committing it from 91% to 33%. Meaning the chances of me doing it went from everyday to almost every other day. That's a close to 67% drop from when I was a daily addict. The hours I'm spending has dropped but slightly to 2.5 hours to about 2 hours per event. Lastly I made honor roll and head list for the first time since my addiction was in its less aggressive stages. I also won many scholarships and awards!

That Bad is: I'm still struggling at finding a consistent routine or sleep. I constantly need reminders To stay on track. When I'm alone, my chances increase greatly. I can't use my phone late at night. It just doesn't work. Lastly I'm having some VERY impulsive and aggressive dreams when I'm away from it for a while.

Overall I'm very proud of myself throughout the first 6 months however I still have a lot of time to get to 0%. Does anyone have any comments if I work productive criticism for me?

Hello everyone: I just completed my first 6 months of my journey of recovery. This is a brief summary, I don't expect it but if you want more details DM me!

So, in 6 months I cut the percentage of me committing it from 91% to 33%. Meaning the chances of me doing it went from everyday to almost every other day. That's a close to 67% drop from when I was a daily addict. The hours I'm spending has dropped but slightly to 2.5 hours to about 2 hours per event. Lastly I made honor roll and head list for the first time since my addiction was in its less aggressive stages. I also won many scholarships and awards!

That Bad is: I'm still struggling at finding a consistent routine or sleep. I constantly need reminders To stay on track. When I'm alone, my chances increase greatly. I can't use my phone late at night. It just doesn't work. Lastly I'm having some VERY impulsive and aggressive dreams when I'm away from it for a while.

Overall I'm very proud of myself throughout the first 6 months however I still have a lot of time to get to 0%. Does anyone have any comments if I work productive criticism for me?

( long post)

My family is the most important yet aggravating part of my life for as long as I have been able to think for myself. Ever since I've been 5 years old my family has been emotionally physically (and very rarely) sexually abusive towards me but I still love them because they've had a very importance impact on my life with paying for my education for years now. However I'm getting quite frustrated with the way that my life is and the role of my parents I just need advice on how to handle it.

Father: my father is a huge impact on me as he is the person that implemented most of my moral understanding and the reason why I'm going into the career that I'm striving for. However his emotional instability and spikes worries me. I have a very similar issue when emotions can go up or down in different situations depending on external and internal factors making me and him lash out sometimes uncontrollably. It still happens time the time when my dad reaches his voice at me when it comes to very small issues. Conversely my father doesn't like to defend myself against my sister or my mother when they are very abusive however I do know that he does behind closed doors. My question or advice is transitioning into a 17-year-old into now a 18 year old how am I supposed to adapt my relationship with my father so we can let go the emotional instability that we both come from?

Mom: my mom shares the bulk of the abuse that I've came across as a young child and teenager. She has days when she might be the best person in the world and then threaten to slap you across your face. Her yelling is aggravating and even traumatizing. Even for the smallest things she can snap at any moment. The worst thing and this is a common factor is that she could snap at me for something but then ask me for hundreds of dollars a week. For instance ever since I've been 16 she's been asking me for my college savings every week and sometimes repaying it and sometimes not. But then in the same way she will yell at me across the entire house for something either small or very common at my age. I'm not sure if I deserve the yelling or the reprimand or not but the pure rage and threatening that I came across is thankfully not the same as a child but isn't too far off.

Sister: my sister is 5 years older than me and although she is my first best friend she is the most aggravating person I've ever came across. One word can make her shut down and not talk to me for entire week and then expect me to pay for her bills as soon as she needs financial help again. My sister has a very unique story as she was a ivy league level student coming out of high school transitioning from an award-winning college student to now at home for the past 3 years. Her bad financial decisions made me a significant part of keeping her stable. She's now trying to study for the LSAT but she's more worried about going on trips with her co-workers. Whenever myself or my father try to get her to do something new for studying tactics she always resorts to her go to stay in her bed 24 hours and study at her comfort. It took to the point where I was tired of her borrowing money for me yelling at me that I dragged her out of bed took all of her devices and made her study for the first time in a chair in almost 3 years. Her LSAT score was below average at best and she is still lacking when it comes to the scores needed to get into an accredited law school. However she still shoots for these high level law schools that are nowhere close to her range but she focuses on things that are not important or at least not as important for her resume. Without her LSAT score being in the ballpark everything else about her resume is futile. I'm not sure how to help let alone help at all. She panics about not having a career but then plan trips instead of studying, she doesn't like tutors, classes, any help at all.

Myself: I am an addict. I'm a emotional, mental, physical, and social, wreck. I'm actually close to sociopath than I would like unfortunately. I'm Afraid I'm never going to be ok after a lot I've seen, done, and experienced. I've lost thousands of dollars paying for my family but conversely I've gotten into a good school, won awards and Scholarships for next year. I lost a lot of friends due to my problems. So idk how to balance my life and my families.

Im not sure if this is allowed on this specific channel we will see)

For context I was raped many times throughout my childhood. That slowlv manifested in behavior emotional, mental, and sexual problems for me, Including but not limited to sex addiction. 1 am recovering from it as we speak but it's a long process.

Because of the addiction and my past I get some wild dreams during withdrawal. Today was the worse. It was a two part dream. At 11 PM to 5 AM The first was myself watching hours of porn. The most egregious, disgusting, horrible porn you can think of. It was so bad that I thought 1 realsped on it in real life. I had to make sure that it wasn't on my phone (thankfully it wasn't)

I went back to sleep at 5: 29 AM, but my second dream was worse. I wasnt in control of my bodv and I was sent to a psychward. In their, the doctor wanted to eject a numbing medicine so I ran away; I was then concerned hit with the medicine and kidnapped. Next thing I know, I was getting raped by 4 or 5+ men.

Does anvone have experience with these dreams or withdrawal?

Im not sure if this is allowed on this specific channel we will see)

For context I was raped many times throughout my childhood. That slowlv manifested in behavior emotional, mental, and sexual problems for me, Including but not limited to sex addiction. 1 am recovering from it as we speak but it's a long process.

Because of the addiction and my past I get some wild dreams during withdrawal. Today was the worse. It was a two part dream. At 11 PM to 5 AM The first was myself watching hours of porn. The most egregious, disgusting, horrible porn you can think of. It was so bad that I thought 1 realsped on it in real life. I had to make sure that it wasn't on my phone (thankfully it wasn't)

I went back to sleep at 5: 29 AM, but my second dream was worse. I wasnt in control of my bodv and I was sent to a psychward. In their, the doctor wanted to eject a numbing medicine so I ran away; I was then concerned hit with the medicine and kidnapped. Next thing I know, I was getting raped by 4 or 5+ men.

Does anvone have experience with these dreams or withdrawal?

10,000 hours.. That's how much porn Ive watched through out my childhood. I've lost friends, my morals, and even my stability. I'm turning 18 and my addiction has took a turn for the worst. I'm only thinking of the most aggressive stuff. I'm going it 7+ times a day. I can't stay clean for more than 3 days. I need help fast. What should do?

So I'm turning 18. Throughout my entire life Ive had a rocky life. I gained a lot a friends then lost them all. Let's just say I'm or at least had terrible social skills and behavior.

Anyone that struggles with Addiction, autism or any bad traits like that, how do you prepare for the next phase of your life?

When your filled with shame and regrets, how do you live your day to day? Like I have goals so I can life them long term but the short term is filled with impulse thoughts and sadness, so how do you guys live life with shame?

When you fuck up really bad, how do you keep going?

Any overall tips for college social life?