u/General_Jeweler_7479

Yesterday I found out that I am fairly certain that I have a urogenital sinus (basically my urethra and vagina being essentially in the same hole, just like how guys think girls have 2 holes LOL). My whole life I have dealt with terrible UTIs and kidney stones, and pain with penetration, and just found out that could be the reason! I have gone to so many doctors and had ultrasounds, scans, but never seen a GYNO yet since I just turned 18. Sooo im not 100% sure this is what it is as im not fully diagnosed, but from what I saw, and compared to diagrams that’s what it is. It feels good knowing theres reasoning behind these constant UTIs and kidney stones, but still makes me feel weird about myself. Plus, theres not any solution except for a very invasive surgery. Also soo weird but I have always had a very weird suspicion I am infertile, and this has some correlation with infertility which scares me to death because I do want kids. Kinda just very confused, but also now have an answer, or atleast an idea. Additionally, Im gay and part of the reason this forms is from too many male hormones?? I HATE when people say thats what makes someone gay, and I still dont believe them, but its definitely been on my mind now too. Just very confused in general and seeking someone who can relate even just slightly.

Anyone else in this same boat with this same defect? Kinda just seeking someone to relate to lol.

seeking advice
Backstory: So, 3 years ago I got my first boyfriend, but I never really LIKEDD him that much, so a few months in we broke up, dated other people, but remained in touch. Then we started hanging out again, and there was a connection that I hadn’t really felt before, but I had just gotten out of an emotional rollercoaster of a relationship, who I am still not over after 6 months.. He asked ro get back together and I expressed that I wasn’t ready, mainly because I didn’t feel emotionally available, and like I just couldn’t handle all of the emotions and having someone rely on me, and me on them. I felt, and still do feel like I need to become more independent. Fast forward a few months (about 1.5-2 months ago) and we start hooking up regularly but I said that I still could not handle a relationship. However, it felt like it was slowly turning into a relationship, which was not what I wanted so I talked to some friends who gave me advice and I kind of realized that I needed to end it soon or at least remind him that I cannot do a relationship.. I feel bad because we do hang out every night, but a lot of the time I dont want to, but feel like I should. Fast forward to a few days ago, he started to really begin worrying me. He has bipolar disorder, and was irritated and getting with his parents 24/7 for legitimate issues, but was still concerning. Then, I saw slits on his wrists. Fast forwards to yesterday, he barely texted me, and then at night I found out that he was in the hospital all day for nearly committing suicide. I picked him up from his house last night, and couldn’t think or speak once he told me. I have a history of people I know either wanting to, or attempting to committing suicide so it really messed with my head more than ever. He was honestly kind of scaring me with how he was acting because he was acting fine, so maybe thats because he is bipolar? I am honestly not sure. But as I hugged him he grabbed my tank top extremely hard, Im sure just seeking comfort, but it genuinely scared me for a moment, and I am not sure what to do. Do I explain that I was already wanting to distance myself? I do not want to hurt him more, but feel like I may be doing so in the process of distancing myself right now already. I just do not believe in myself to be somebody else’s emotional crutch, for their sake and for my own. Any and all advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

seeking advice
Backstory: So, 3 years ago I got my first boyfriend, but I never really LIKEDD him that much, so a few months in we broke up, dated other people, but remained in touch. Then we started hanging out again, and there was a connection that I hadn’t really felt before, but I had just gotten out of an emotional rollercoaster of a relationship, who I am still not over after 6 months.. He asked ro get back together and I expressed that I wasn’t ready, mainly because I didn’t feel emotionally available, and like I just couldn’t handle all of the emotions and having someone rely on me, and me on them. I felt, and still do feel like I need to become more independent. Fast forward a few months (about 1.5-2 months ago) and we start hooking up regularly but I said that I still could not handle a relationship. However, it felt like it was slowly turning into a relationship, which was not what I wanted so I talked to some friends who gave me advice and I kind of realized that I needed to end it soon or at least remind him that I cannot do a relationship.. I feel bad because we do hang out every night, but a lot of the time I dont want to, but feel like I should. Fast forward to a few days ago, he started to really begin worrying me. He has bipolar disorder, and was irritated and getting with his parents 24/7 for legitimate issues, but was still concerning. Then, I saw slits on his wrists. Fast forwards to yesterday, he barely texted me, and then at night I found out that he was in the hospital all day for nearly committing suicide. I picked him up from his house last night, and couldn’t think or speak once he told me. I have a history of people I know either wanting to, or attempting to committing suicide so it really messed with my head more than ever. He was honestly kind of scaring me with how he was acting because he was acting fine, so maybe thats because he is bipolar? I am honestly not sure. But as I hugged him he grabbed my tank top extremely hard, Im sure just seeking comfort, but it genuinely scared me for a moment, and I am not sure what to do. Do I explain that I was already wanting to distance myself? I do not want to hurt him more, but feel like I may be doing so in the process of distancing myself right now already. I just do not believe in myself to be somebody else’s emotional crutch, for their sake and for my own. Any and all advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

seeking advice
Backstory: So, 3 years ago I got my first boyfriend, but I never really LIKEDD him that much, so a few months in we broke up, dated other people, but remained in touch. Then we started hanging out again, and there was a connection that I hadn’t really felt before, but I had just gotten out of an emotional rollercoaster of a relationship, who I am still not over after 6 months.. He asked ro get back together and I expressed that I wasn’t ready, mainly because I didn’t feel emotionally available, and like I just couldn’t handle all of the emotions and having someone rely on me, and me on them. I felt, and still do feel like I need to become more independent. Fast forward a few months (about 1.5-2 months ago) and we start hooking up regularly but I said that I still could not handle a relationship. However, it felt like it was slowly turning into a relationship, which was not what I wanted so I talked to some friends who gave me advice and I kind of realized that I needed to end it soon or at least remind him that I cannot do a relationship.. I feel bad because we do hang out every night, but a lot of the time I dont want to, but feel like I should. Fast forward to a few days ago, he started to really begin worrying me. He has bipolar disorder, and was irritated and getting with his parents 24/7 for legitimate issues, but was still concerning. Then, I saw slits on his wrists. Fast forwards to yesterday, he barely texted me, and then at night I found out that he was in the hospital all day for nearly committing suicide. I picked him up from his house last night, and couldn’t think or speak once he told me. I have a history of people I know either wanting to, or attempting to committing suicide so it really messed with my head more than ever. He was honestly kind of scaring me with how he was acting because he was acting fine, so maybe thats because he is bipolar? I am honestly not sure. But as I hugged him he grabbed my tank top extremely hard, Im sure just seeking comfort, but it genuinely scared me for a moment, and I am not sure what to do. Do I explain that I was already wanting to distance myself? I do not want to hurt him more, but feel like I may be doing so in the process of distancing myself right now already. I just do not believe in myself to be somebody else’s emotional crutch, for their sake and for my own. Any and all advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

seeking advice
Backstory: So, 3 years ago I got my first boyfriend, but I never really LIKEDD him that much, so a few months in we broke up, dated other people, but remained in touch. Then we started hanging out again, and there was a connection that I hadn’t really felt before, but I had just gotten out of an emotional rollercoaster of a relationship, who I am still not over after 6 months.. He asked ro get back together and I expressed that I wasn’t ready, mainly because I didn’t feel emotionally available, and like I just couldn’t handle all of the emotions and having someone rely on me, and me on them. I felt, and still do feel like I need to become more independent. Fast forward a few months (about 1.5-2 months ago) and we start hooking up regularly but I said that I still could not handle a relationship. However, it felt like it was slowly turning into a relationship, which was not what I wanted so I talked to some friends who gave me advice and I kind of realized that I needed to end it soon or at least remind him that I cannot do a relationship.. I feel bad because we do hang out every night, but a lot of the time I dont want to, but feel like I should. Fast forward to a few days ago, he started to really begin worrying me. He has bipolar disorder, and was irritated and getting with his parents 24/7 for legitimate issues, but was still concerning. Then, I saw slits on his wrists. Fast forwards to yesterday, he barely texted me, and then at night I found out that he was in the hospital all day for nearly committing suicide. I picked him up from his house last night, and couldn’t think or speak once he told me. I have a history of people I know either wanting to, or attempting to committing suicide so it really messed with my head more than ever. He was honestly kind of scaring me with how he was acting because he was acting fine, so maybe thats because he is bipolar? I am honestly not sure. But as I hugged him he grabbed my tank top extremely hard, Im sure just seeking comfort, but it genuinely scared me for a moment, and I am not sure what to do. Do I explain that I was already wanting to distance myself? I do not want to hurt him more, but feel like I may be doing so in the process of distancing myself right now already. I just do not believe in myself to be somebody else’s emotional crutch, for their sake and for my own. Any and all advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

!!!