u/General_Scarcity1565

Something came up and i cant go :(
if anyone wants it dm me!!
$15 plz

Doors at 6 PM, how early should I show up to be safe? How have the lines been? If it helps, i’m coming for the beach bunny and AJJ nights.

TW: Description Of Death/Dying/Euthanasia, Describing Pet Illness/Decline, Traumatic Experience Describing My Last Days With My Cat

My sweet baby boy Paul,
He was going to turn 13 this August. We got him when he was 9. I thought he’d have such a long life ahead of him. I thought that he’d live long enough to have an equal amount of a good life than a bad life (his previous owner was extremely neglectful)

He had always been so healthy, every blood test hes ever gotten since I’ve had him has come back with flying colors.

About 4-5 months ago, Paul started having constipation and eating issues. Which wasn’t out of the ordinary for him as hes always had gastrointestinal issues..
I took him to the vet over 4 times over the issue. They would always treat it as a gastrointestinal issue. Meds, meds and more meds. It stopped working? We up the dosage until it stops working again, then we add more meds.

I never would of thought I would lose him.

This past week, Pauls appetite seemed to disappear completely. I just presumed it was because he was constipated. I kept monitoring him until he was barely eating, he kept tripping and stumbling and I presumed it was because of his lack of nutrition.

I took him in again, for the 4th time in 2 months, we did an enema and bloodwork. I went to work and my mother picked him up.

I get a call at work, they tell me to sit down, that I should leave work early. They tell me he is in final stage kidney failure. The vet suggests euthanasia.

I just couldn’t believe it, just this morning we were together in bed. I thought he would get better, that these were just issues we could fix with the right regimen.

I leave work early to find him in the bathroom, crying and yowling. He can barely walk. He declined so quickly in a matter of hours. I spend the night with him, alone in my house, desperately trying to ignore the fact this will probably be my last night with him.

It was one of the worst nights of my life, seeing my sweet baby boy, unable to get comfortable, constantly readjusting, unable to sleep, yowling every time he moves. I felt so fucking helpless, I couldnt afford to take him to the ER, all I could do is try to make him more comfortable but nothing I did was helping him.

We finally make it to morning, every time he tries to walk, he falls over. He yowls every time he readjusts, he can’t get comfortable. I set up his euthanasia appointment for the next day (soonest available) and get him pain meds from the vet.

My partner finally gets home, he can’t walk, he cant go to the bathroom or drink water. It was SO fucking painful to see him like this. Just a day ago he was walking and mostly normal, it was so jarring to see him decline so quickly. It was so awful seeing my baby like this. I just keep replaying it in my head.

We called to have him euthanized ASAP and we find a doctor to do it in our home like we wanted. We spend our last hour with him, holding him on the patio in the sun, he wasn’t even blinking by himself, he was so out of it.

I watched him die in my partners arms, his body spasm for air, the life leave him. I can’t stop thinking about it. I know I should think about his life before his decline but honestly it was so fucking traumatic It keeps replaying in my head.

His body stayed with us overnight as we wanted to be the ones to take him to the crematorium. It was extremely hard to stay in our apartment with his body curled up in his hiding spot..

Its been 3 days since he passed. My partner and I are spending as much time out of our apartment as we can to avoid our home where he once lived. Its been so fucking hard coming home to our apartment without him. All I see when Im here is him, every room I walk into, all I see is him sleeping. When Im on the couch, all i see is him coming in to greet us, when i get in the shower, all I see is him sitting waiting for me. Hell, even outside of our apartment all I see is him rolling around where we used to take him out.

I just can’t get over the fact that i thought we’d have so much more time together, we only had him for 3 years and he declined so quickly.. It was so unexpected and awful seeing my healthy boy go to being unable to even walk and in so much pain.

I just cant stop thinking about his last days and him dying. I cant stop thinking about how he should be in bed with me. How I will never pet his soft fur again, smell or kiss his head again, never see his sweet eyes again, how I will never tell him how much I love him again.

He just doesn’t exist anymore, I will never see him again. Just like that.

Someone I loved more than anything in this entire world, gone, like that.

This is so fucking painful and awful, i dont know how ill get over it. I keep trying not to think about it but everything in my apartment reminds me of him. I just miss him so fucking much. Its so fucking unfair, he was so young, his death was so awful.. and so fast.. I just don’t know how to cope.

I love you so much Paul. I would literally do anything to see you again. You were my best friend and I will always love you more than anything in this entire world. I don’t know how Im going to do this without you.