u/Glass_Painting9653

I’ve been dating a guy and we’ve made it official but we haven’t been intimate yet. I think he’s a little nervous around sex and he hasn’t been in a relationship in about five years before we got together.
I recently shared my status with him and how I got tested at my last appointment and I was happy to share the results with him, and all he told me was thank you for letting him know and that I had been a while for him since he had sex, which wasn’t the reciprocity I was looking for. So I asked him what his status was and he told me he hadn’t been tested since before his last partner over five years ago.

He doesn’t have health insurance through his job so I told him I completely understood but then asked if he planned on getting tested at the health department since it’s low-cost there. He said. “ if you want me to” and to me that felt super weird because I feel like that’s an important thing you do even if you don’t have symptoms of something.

Am I being off base here? I know more than likely he’s fine and I don’t want him to feel like I’m calling him dirty and that’s not what I’m intending at all. When I was younger, I was with someone who gave me chlamydia and they didn’t know they had it because they were asymptomatic for a long time and I don’t wanna put myself back in that situation again ever so I always get tested.

Pretty much exactly what the title says. I’ve(34F) started dating someone(40M) three months ago after a three month talking stage, we started as friends before but it became more. He’s wanted a label and we’ve both talked about how we’re looking for something serious and that we love each other. The only issue is that I’ve been wanting to be close to him and he’s not feeling ready yet, and I’m starting to feel like there’s something wrong with me.

I’ve respected his pace, and he said he hasn’t been with anyone in a few years. He has body image issues and doesn’t view himself positively even though I always build him up and tell him how thoughtful, attractive, and wonderful he is. He’s apologized for moving slow even though I’ve told him I don’t want him to do anything he’s uncomfortable with because consent is important to me.

That being said, I’m starting to feel like he’s not attracted to me, even though he says I’m beautiful and that it’s not me, it’s something he’s working through. I know it’s not logical to feel this way but I’ve never had this issue with someone, it’s usually the opposite where people want to hook up too fast. Yesterday he said “I promise im not usually like this,” and it stung because I feel like his past partners got a version of him I’m not able to be close to.

Would it be unreasonable for me to tell him how I’m feeling? Intimacy is important to me, I haven’t told him how much this bothers me because I don’t want him to feel pressured into anything he’s not wanting to do, but it’s making me feel so sad and not wanting to see him if this continues because it hurts honestly.

Question for you all as a 36 year old woman, what are you guys doing for under eye care? I’ve been looking at options for the dynamic wrinkles that have become way more prominent every time I smile or have any expression at all and have been Botox-curious.

I also feel like my under eyes always look tired no matter what I do. I work out, use spf 30, and a vitamin c serum and retinol topical treatment and they help but it’s catching up to me more lately. Is Botox safe as a treatment option, and how frequently do you get it done? Does it cause swelling or is it obvious? I still want to look like me. Also how much does it typically cost?

Thank you all, I appreciate you 🙏🙏

My ex has been promising me for a while that he changed his address, but hasn't because I keep getting his letters. He would randomly stop by to pick them up and I'd remind him again, and he would say that he had done it already. I think he's avoiding it as an excuse to keep seeing me and talking to me like garbage.

I have a stack of his letters and I told him I'm done with it and he needs to collect them. Some of these are over a month old now. I set them aside safely and haven't touched them. He flaked and didn't pick them up again because I said no more.

What do I do at this point? I don't want to do anything that violates anything USPS, and i don't know if I can write 'Return to sender' on all of these. I just want to stop receiving his things.

EDIT: oh my gosh I did not expect this many responses. Thank you all so much for your help. I'm just going to return the bundle of them in my mailbox and write " not at this address" as was suggested. Living with him for so many years has given me a great deal of anxiety over minor things and i'm working to overcome that. Thank you all for your help and support ❤️