u/Glittering_Block_773

I'm still in the thick of a flare up, but I understand now.

The more you fear the thoughts, the more they come. The more you avoid the anxiety, the stronger it becomes. The more checking you do, the less you feel or feel things you don't want to.

The only way to see through this is just.. accepting it. Accepting that those thoughts are infact there. That those thoughts COULD be true but I'm gonna continue what I'm doing.

I'm unfortunately teaching myself these things through reading and self practice but I think for 6 months on & off, I've been doing pretty good.

I'm kinda in the phase of not really feeling and urgency from my thoughts, rather just a sense of numbness or indifference (i.e backdoor spike) and it's hard but im getting through it.

We will recover!

I'm on vacation for about a week. I was very worried that I'd meet someone new during my time away and I'd be attracted to others. Of course I've been checking my feelings for others to see if it's true (which has alluded to nothing).

I've been feeling disconnected as hell from my boyfriend lately. We are long distance and we usually connect via calls or games, and since I'm on vacation I don't really have access to those things. (The reason why I cant call him is because I'm always around family). So I'm extremely disconnected from him lately and it doesnt feel normal. It feels like I've lost feelings.

My anxiety has lached onto the disconnected I feel towards him and now I test myself when he texts me, sends pictures, hears his voice, etc. When my boyfriend gave me affection I tested myself and I thought I didn't like it. I thought that it made me uncomfortable and that made me so anxious because I was worried I didn't like it. I got thought of "what if me being uncomfortable doesn't mean I love him". I'm having thoughts about breaking up with him and it feels so horrible when I think that way. I feel anxious and I got the thought "do I deserve better than him??", or feeling like I genuinely deserve better than him even though I've been content in our relationship for the past year & never wanted more

My thoughts feel so real. I feel like I genuinely deserve better and need to break up, and those thoughts cause so much anxiety. I feel like I don't like my boyfriend and I don't love him and it makes me feel so horrible.

I was completely fine before I went on my trip. Does anyone think this is just anxiety making me think this way?? I suspect my brain is just trying to find certainty in my thoughts. Does anyone have advice on my situation.

Tw. My post contains talk of porn/sexual themes, and fear of cheating.

So I have rocd and some hocd. My hocd usually related to my rocd, but rocd is my biggest theme I deal with.

So a couple of days ago I was on Twitter and I saw erotic things. I got curious and scrolled on the accounts. My body had a physical reaction to the problem and I was like "so my body had a reaction so that means I need to conduct my business". This is highly unusual to me because I absolutely DESPISE porn. I dont actively seek out porn or to look at other people so this reaction my body had was distressing. I don't look for porn for pleasure because i think it's very bad for the brain.

Anyways I thought I pleased myself to porn and it scared me (even though I was thinking about what me and my boyfriend could do when i watched the videos). It wasn't a huge deal until yesterday. I got hocd thoughts and I had the compulsion idea of "maybe I should download Twitter again and look at lesbian porn to see if I'm gay". Of course I got curious and my body had a physical reaction. Same events repeated.. my boyfriend was in my mind when I conducted business.

Now I feel extremely guilty. Not that I did it once but twice. I talked with my boyfriend last night and he said he considers watching porn cheating. He said actively seeking out and watching is cheating but... i genuinely cant tell if i actively seeked it out or not. Now I believe I cheated and I feel the urge to confess constantly. I feel horrible. I feel like I betrayed the love of my life. I have no desire to watch porn and please myself to the porn. I would rather please myself to him but I feel so guilty that I did it twice. Both were slip-up's. I don't think it was my genuine intention to seek porn and jerk off. I just reacted to my bodys reaction twice and now i feel like I cheated.

Now when I talk to my boyfriend I feel anxious and remember my guilt (classic rocd). Advice on how to deal with this?

Can someone give me adivce on how to navigate the guilt. I genuinely can't tell if I've crossed a boundary with my boyfriend and if I should tell him or not. It feels so impossible to live with guilt of thinking I cheated. I need advice on how to deal with it.

Tw. My post contains talk of porn/sexual themes, and fear of cheating.

So I have rocd and some hocd. My hocd usually related to my rocd, but rocd is my biggest theme I deal with.

So a couple of days ago I was on Twitter and I saw erotic things. I got curious and scrolled on the accounts. My body had a physical reaction to the problem and I was like "so my body had a reaction so that means I need to conduct my business". This is highly unusual to me because I absolutely DESPISE porn. I dont actively seek out porn or to look at other people so this reaction my body had was distressing. I don't look for porn for pleasure because i think it's very bad for the brain.

Anyways I thought I pleased myself to porn and it scared me (even though I was thinking about me and my boyfriend most of the time). It wasn't a huge deal until yesterday. I got hocd thoughts and I had the compulsion idea of "maybe I should download Twitter again and look at lesbian porn to see if I'm gay". Of course I got curious and my body had a physical reaction. Same events repeated.. my boyfriend was in my mind when it happened as well.

Now I feel extremely guilty. Not that I did it once but twice. I talked with my boyfriend last night and he said he considers watching porn cheating. He said actively seeking out and watching is cheating but... i genuinely cant tell if i actively seeked it out or not. Now I believe I cheated and I feel the urge to confess constantly. I feel horrible. I feel like I betrayed the love of my life. I have no desire to watch porn and please myself to the porn. Both times were slip-up's. I don't think it was my genuine intention to seek porn and jerk off. I just reacted to my bodys reaction twice and now i feel like I cheated. Everything I did goes completely agaisnt my morals and now i feel like a hypocrite and a cheater.

Now when I talk to my boyfriend I feel anxious and remember my guilt (classic rocd). Advice on how to deal with this?

Can someone give me adivce on how to navigate the guilt. I genuinely can't tell if I crossed a boundary or not & if I should confess if i did cross a boundary. It feels so impossible to live with guilt of thinking I cheated. I need advice on how to deal with this?

Bit of a trigger warning. Relating to porn and cheating. I just need someone's honest opinion

I was scrolling on Twitter and I saw very.. erotic things. I got curious and kept scrolling and saw some porn. For some reason my body got aroused and I felt like I had to help myself because I was wet. Porn never turns me on, in fact I am highly agaisnt watching porn, so this was weird to me. I didnt enjoy watching it out of want but more as curiosity, and my body's reaction worried me. (I thought about my boyfriend when I conducted my business, not about a porn fantasy so...?)

My boyfriend said he thinks watching porn often and seeking it out is cheating. I agree but I never watch porn willingly, I just happen to get curious whenever it comes up.

I deal with some hocd and today I saw this video about being lesbian. Of course that filled my mind with intrusive thoughts if im lesbian or not. I got the thought of "maybe I should watch lesbian porn to know if im attracted to women" (common ocd symptom..)

Of course I scrolled on Twitter to find women to see if I'm attracted and yet again I found porn. Of course my body had a reaction and conducted my business (to the thought of my boyfriend mostly) and now I keep thinking that I'm a hypocrite liar & I cheated.

I keep wanting to confess this all to my boyfriend and I feel so unbelievably anxious and guilty. It's eating me alive. I don't willingly watch porn in my free time, in fact I never watch it so idk if I actaully cheated. I didn't seek it our for pleasure but out of curiosity and compulsion seeking. I feel so guilty. I don't truly know if I pleased myself to porn or to my boyfriend and it's freaking me out.

I feel the need to avoid anything sexual now. I deleted Twitter. I dont have any intention to seek out porn.

Should I confess to him out of honesty or should I not to avoid compulsion...? I feel so unbelievably guilty I can't deal with it. Did I cheat or no? I genuinely dont know what to do.

I'm going to the beach in a couple of weeks and I'm concerned my dye will fade when I swim. My hair is originally brown and I dyed it black with semi-perminate dye.

Does salt water affect the dye in any way? Is there any way I could prevent serious fading of the color before I swim? Any adivce? Thanks

I always get the thoughts like "see you still feel love for him" after we have a romantic moment or I genuinely want to do something romantic/intimate with him? It just takes away from the value of the moment and the relief I feel when I feel those feelings for him.

Also can anyone give me advice on my situation right now? A vague rundown of what's happening with me is I basically do not feel the intense passion for my boyfriend. Clearly our honeymoon phase has ended and I just don't feel that intense, burning passion anymore. So now with that it feels like giving affection and doing Romantic things isn't as meaningful. So my question is... do I keep putting in effort even i don't feel that passion?

I'm 17 so I'm a little clueless with how relationships work long term. I don't know whats normal and whats not for a relationship. I've always had a tendency to leave my relationships the second I didn't feel that strong excitement so I keep thinking the relationship is ending and Ill only find that excitement in other (that is an old pattern of mine.. running away and finding new excitement because the old one ran out).

Though, I can't imagine leaving my boyfriend. I'd rather be bored with him than anyone else.

Anyways. Any adivce is appreciated. Thanks :)

I genuinely hate the person I am when it's pms week. It's so crazy how last week I was madly in love with my boyfriend and everything about him, now I get angry at the smallest things and I feel like I hate him. It creates so much doubt in my mind because I don't feel fully in love with him and it eats me alive. It's always at the same time every month. I feel like I hate him but I know deep down I adore him. He's my everything.

It doesnt help that me and him are long distance as well. I'm also 17. Does anyone have advice. Please, it's eating me alive. I just want to be a good girlfriend without pms making me into a monster.