u/Glittering_Habit_437

I'm not sure if this is allowed here, but I'd like to know if anyone has experienced something similar and how you got through this?

I feel so much guilt for picking up my guitar again. I stopped playing and writing much about 15 years ago, when my drug addiction got really bad. Ive been clean for about 5 years now, and I got another guitar a few years ago... thinking I'd like to start playing and writing again. Now that I'm over 2 years away from my ex, and living alone. It seems easier, yet I feel so much guilt and rawness when I try to play or sing.

Music was my first love, and I feel so far from it. There is something in my heart that is so caged. It's as if I was to unleash it, I would just feel too raw to function.

I am trying to make myself practice for at least 10 minutes everyday now. I just started this a couple days ago.

I am extremely self-conscious, even when playing by myself. I critique myself for having to essentially relearn do to my finger strength not being the same, and my vocal range being not as broad. Idk why I'm so hard on myself. I know anytime I've played in front of others, they've been impressed, but that shouldn't be what music is about anyway. What did I lose? How do I get this back? Do I need to become an alcoholic to let myself loosen up enough to be real? (Partly joking)

I met a seemingly amazing guy 1-2 weeks ago. I don’t know where this relationship will go, or what kind of relationship this will end up being. We’ve been texting everyday. Talking on the phone for hours at times.

We have a lot of similarities with the traumas we’ve been through in life.

Here is my fear: we are meeting up tomorrow, but I’m supposed to get my period in 8 days. I know I’m hard on myself, and I’m worried I might be a little more tired, spaced out, possibly even emotional. We’ve only spent a couple hours total in person, and we were planning on spending a longer amount of time together because he lives in another city.

I already warned him I may be a bit tired, and he said it’s ok and that he doesn’t expect me to perform. I think hes someone that would just accept me, but I’ve been in abusive relationships in the past, and so has he.

My ex got upset at me for spacing out and “acting like I’m not right in the head” and how “it’s embarrassing” for him to be a seen with me when I’m like that.

I know my friends accept me, and never make me feel like it’s wrong when I’m not super chipper, but I do have trauma from that (as my ex and I were together for a long time).

I really like this guy, and I felt super comfortable around him

I met a seemingly amazing guy 1-2 weeks ago. I don’t know where this relationship will go, or what kind of relationship this will end up being. We’ve been texting everyday. Talking on the phone for hours at times.

We have a lot of similarities with the traumas we’ve been through in life.

Here is my fear: we are meeting up tomorrow, but I’m supposed to get my period in 8 days. I know I’m hard on myself, and I’m worried I might be a little more tired, spaced out, possibly even emotional. We’ve only spent a couple hours total in person, and we were planning on spending a longer amount of time together because he lives in another city.

I already warned him I may be a bit tired, and he said it’s ok and that he doesn’t expect me to perform. I think hes someone that would just accept me, but I’ve been in abusive relationships in the past, and so has he.

My ex got upset at me for spacing out and “acting like I’m not right in the head” and how “it’s embarrassing” for him to be a seen with me when I’m like that.

I know my friends accept me, and never make me feel like it’s wrong when I’m not super chipper, but I do have trauma from that (as my ex and I were together for a long time).

I really like this guy, and I felt super comfortable around him

UPDATE:

Thank you so so much everyone for commenting! I do agree that sharing trauma early on isn’t always the best idea. I am going to meet up with him later today, and just see how it goes :)

For context, I am 32.

I left a 7 year relationship shortly after I turned 30.

I heard that after 36 is when someone really embodies their D9 chart, or when they get married?

I’m new to Vedic astrology, so please forgive my ignorance if these are dumb questions.

I’m Canadian, and I’m curious if Vedic astrology can be applied to the western part of the world, or if I should look into sidereal?

Thank you so much!

I’ve always thought Taurus seemed like the best sign to have the sun in. We typically have the best sense of self. Yet Aries is the exalted Sun.

I hear it often that when pushed to our limit we can get really mad, and then we are done with that person.

I just found out that I’m a sidereal Aries. Most tropical zodiac Tauruses are. Until you are 24-30 degree Taurus, then you are still a Taurus in sidereal.

Sidereal is a more accurate picture of where the sun and planets are in what constellation. Tropical astrology is based on the seasons. It used to be an actual representation of the sky… thousands of years ago, before the change. If you look at the constellations now, you will see that transit mars is actually in Aries right now, but tropical says it’s in Taurus.

I still have a Taurus moon and Taurus south node regardless. I also have a Taurus mercury and Venus in sidereal.

It’s very interesting to me.

I’ve always identified greatly to my Aries placements, and now I know why. My Sun is in Aries.