u/Global_Mention_7026

Okay so for context, when I was a kid this lady that used to take of me had two daughters who were my best friends. Apart from those two girls she had 6 other kids, most of them being boys.
One night i was sleeping at her house , i was prob about 7-8. I was in that hald awake half asleep state when one of her sons who has at least 13-14 at the time walked in and lates down next to me and out his hands inside my pants and started touching me, i locked him away and he then wrapped his lega around me, i had to kick him twice more before he stoped, or at least i think he did i don’t really remember bcs it sort of all went dark, I might have fallen asleep. I told his family and my mom but got called a liar by him and his family and told i would be going to hell because i was a liar. Unfortunately i was still allowed to keep going to their house and them to ours (not ling after I also ended up finding What was basically a live letter from him in my bathroom and he also have me a strawberry shortcake toy one time, all very random and extremely weird) And this has affected me a lot in a way throughout the years.
Anyway, just yesterday my mom gave me the news that he died and i can’t help but feel slightly glad and happy. All while feeling extremely guilty and disgusted that i feel glad someone has died.
Am i bad person for thinking like this??

Title is confusing I know but I’ll try to describe the situation I’m in.
Basically I (20F) have been going out with this girl (21F) for a little over a month now, she’s polyamorous and I’m not. Well not exactly, I’d like to consider myself more of a not strictly monogamous person. Meaning I could see myself being happy in a mono relationship as well as a poly one, more likely a poly one I’ve started to realise.
She told me in our first date she was poly and at first I was a bit taken back and scared, it was something new for me but I really liked this girl and honestly couldn’t get her out of my head, we just immediately clicked and everything with her from the very first date was very natural.
Everything is going GREAT I couldn’t be happier and her having other partners doesn’t bother me, which is surprisingly since any other relationship (all mono) I’ve tried to have before literally drove me insane. Now we aren’t official official yet meaning she hasn’t formally asked but we do tell others we are together, introduce each other as girlfriend/partner and even talked about living together in the future (a bit quick I know) and although she is also seeing someone else on the side (I don’t know which stage they are at, if it’s going well or not, if it’s something that’ll eventually become more official or if they’re just casual. We haven’t really talked about it) we hang out a lot , like nearly everyday if we could, she spends a quite few days at my house and he haven’t gone a week without seeing each other at this current stage. Now the “issue” of you could call it that is, I’m Demiromantic and find having romantic attraction for people very hard and don’t like dating apps at all and prefer to meet people more naturally , and she’s the opposite. She has dating apps, I’m not sure if she’s actively using them but she has also asked me if I was okay with her having dating apps and I don’t have an issue with it. What I’m scared off is because I find it hard to connect with people and develop interest , finding a partner is much harder and I feel like I could sort of get left behind as she does out on dates and meets more and more people and she might eventually get bored of me or feel weirded out about the fact that I’m not going out with anyone else while she is and think that it won’t work out at all. Also at this point of my life I’m not doing so well mentally and feel like at the moment I couldn’t handle having more than one partner so currently I’m not exactly looking for anything new and I really really like her and I can’t imagine myself currently feeling that strongly about anyone else, it could be the new partner , honeymoon phase which would also explain why we hang out so much and want to always be together , more often hanging out with each other than friends and others. What I’m scared of is once this phase is over she’ll get bored of me or won’t want to hang out with me anymore at all because rn it’s SO intense.
I was also wondering if it’s possible for poly/enm relationships to work when one person is actively practicing polyamory and one is not, just dating that one person. Ig it’s called mono-poly but there’s truly nothing mono about it so I don’t think that term fits.
Another thing I’ve been wondering if jealousy is still a thing in polyamory?? In my opinion it is a natural human emotion? Is it not…anyway I don’t feel jealous as much as I feel insecure sometimes, that I won’t be enough and she’ll only want that other partner or that the love she has for her other partner won’t be the same for me and she’ll love me less. Silly insecurities if I’m being honest but still very real, I’m just worried about how this will work out and I don’t want to lose her.
Sorry this is so long

I’ve recently started going out with this girl who is polyamorous, at first I was a bit apprehensive because although I’m not strictly monogamous myself I’ve never actually gone out or had anything with anyone who is poly, but now I’ve realised that I myself am not monogamous and I’m not as stressed about all this as I thought I’d be, we haven’t been going out for that long but we have talked about making it official some time in the near future, we really like each other and we have a great time together. she’s also seeing another person, we both know about each other (obviously) but we don’t have anything going on between the two of us only my partner and her, everything is great but this did get me wondering about polyamorous relationships long term, in the sense of marriage and living together (if that’s the case) and if/how to make it work out.
This is also my very first “relationship” and although I am very young (20F) and still have a lot of time to figure out my life and these things I do know Id like to get married when I’m older and even live with my partner.
This got me wondering about how those things would work/look like in a poly relationship especially since it’s a V shaped dynamic (I’m sorry if I’m saying it wrong I still don’t know all the terms). I know in most places it’s not legal to have more than one marriage except if it’s just on paper. So how would that work? I guess it could be the case that one of their partners doesn’t want to get married and the other does.
And about living conditions, I know some poly people have partners they live with and then partners they don’t live with but see every now and then. What would happen if more than one partner wants to live with you as the hinge but you’re not in a triad? Would it still be possible to have both partners live with you even if they don’t have a relationship between themselves?? Or would that be awkward and difficult? Honestly all I can imagine is having to choose weeks/days in which room/with who the hinge is going to sleep with.
Also I feel like (and this is only an assumption) looking into the far away future, that it would be very hard to manage kids and families.
Having a family and kids with your partner and having them leave for say a few weeks to stay with their other partners and you have to take care of everything alone. I don’t know I think I still have some deep rooted monogamous concepts from growing up Christian which makes this seem way scarier than it actually is. But right now I am VERY happy and secure, I feel way better mentally and I’m not going insane as I usually do when I try to meet/have anything with monogamous men/women.
I’m sorry this has turned into a bit of a rant but if anyone who has been practicing polyamory for long periods of time and have long term partners, live with their partner/partners or even are married and have families please share your stories and how you’ve made it work out long term, if it is possible to make it work out. Or any advice will be appreciated
Obviously I know it’ll have its ups and downs regardless, not everything can be perfect but I really like her and I’d like to make it work out.
Thank you

Hey so I need some help , sorry this is a little long
for context me (20F) and this girl went on a first date and she told me in the middle of the date that she’s polygamous.
I really liked the time I spent w her and I liked her a lot too, however I’m not 100% sure I am polygamous (although I’m sure I’m not 100% monogamous or strictly monogamous although I’d probably prefer to be with only one partner at a time since forme personally I’d be hard to manage more than one. Is there such thing as an in between??
However, after this date I have been very confused about how I myself feel about this and how it would work out between us. She’s not currently in any relationships and told me that if we were to get together and she went out and happened to find someone that she was interested in that she would tell me, etc.
The point of my post is to get more information on polygamy since all I can find are the very basic definitions and I mostly found information on polyamory which I know is very different although I feel like that would fit me better personally.
So id be great if anyone could help me, tell me how I works for you as a polygamous person , any personal experience or advice for me. And if anyone is in a mono-poly relationship could you tell me how is going for you and if it works? Is there such thing as a polygamous and polyamorous mixed relationship?
After searching a bit more and thinking about my own identify I have realised that I would totally be okay dating someone who is poly and maybe even trying to have more than one partner (although if that was the case I’d probably find a polygamous relationship easier to manage) with the right communication.
except for the fact that she described polygamy for her as “relationships that can end suddenly and even reappear” that kind of made me a bit hesitant. Is that actually how it works for polygamous people??
She also asked me if I wanted her to delete tinder which left me a little confused.
Also what is the difference with a polygamous relationship and an open one….could I still be considered poly if I’m okay with my partner being committed to me and others but not okay with them “sleeping around” and having hookups??
Any help, advice would be highly appreciated.