Should Polygamy be legalized? It was in the Old testament.
If it became legal, would you do it?
I met a guy who visited our church at the time a few years ago who was from some fringe group who brought his 2 wives
I sure wouldn't do it
Not sure if this is the right place for this, but maybe?
So me and my wife are both mid 30s, been married since we were 22, only ever been with each other, got several kids. Both Christian. We’re pretty natural/hippy type people.
Her best friend is extremely close to our family. Like basically a second mom to our kids. She’s been there for us when almost nobody else was. She is married, but her husband isn’t super involved.
One time my wife was away with our youngest for medical reasons and she agreed to watch our other kids so I could work. I hadn’t seen her in about 3 months. When I dropped the kids off she ran up and gave me this long tight hug with no bra on, put her head on my chest, and just held it longer than a normal hug.
They already act like sister wives in a lot of ways. They use a combined last name and the kids say it too. Our kids call each other siblings sometimes and call her mom. Her kids will jokingly call me dad. They talk about living on the same land or having a compound (half joking but they bring it up more than once). They spend a ton of private time together and talk about running off just the two of them. One night they were having a girls night and I was watching all the kids and my wife joked about them going in the room and locking the door.
There’s definite mutual attraction between me and her friend. It actually started years before they even became friends. She gets close, leans in, gives me looks, touches my arm, does little things even when my wife is right there. She doesn’t act that way with other guys.
My wife knows I’m attracted to her. I told her I have a fantasy about a threesome with her best friend. She immediately knew who I meant, smirked, and said she just knew. She’s given her own signals too over time. After we spend time with her friend or after we talk about it, my wife usually gets a lot more open and sexual with me. It’s actually sparked a real sexual awakening for her and made our relationship stronger in that way.
It already feels like the three of us are in some kind of informal sister wife / triangle situation even though nothing official has happened.
Anyone else been in something like this? Where your wife and her close friend already function like sister wives (combined family stuff, kids calling them both mom, talking about living together, etc) and there’s mutual attraction on top of it? Curious how other people have handled it.
In the Old Testament it was common for the main characters to have multiple wives. It is my opinion that this completely stopped in the New Testament because polygamy was illegal under Greek and Roman marriage law. This change happened before Jesus and Paul started preaching. So it was initially due to legal reasons rather than God first changing his mind.
Characters in the Old Testament that apparently had multiple wives included Lamech, Abraham, Nahor, Esau, Jacob, Moses, Gideon, Elkanah, Saul, David, Solomon, Ahab, Rehoboam, Abijah, Joash, and Ahasuerus. King Solomon was said to have had 700 wives and 300 concubines. The Bible says Solomon's foreign wives led him astray but he could have just restricted himself to Jewish wives and remember that a single wife can also lead you astray. Despite this I think Solomon was still pretty close to God since he built the Temple and wrote three books of the Bible.
Deuteronomy 17:17 says "The king must not have many wives. If he does, they will lead him astray. He must not store up large amounts of silver and gold". There doesn't seem to be a punishment for these things. Solomon also broke the rule about kings storing a lot of gold - 1 Kings 10:14 says "Each year Solomon received 25 tons of gold" (666 talents).
If God wanted men to always be monogamous I wonder why humans are also subject to the Coolidge Effect. In animals this involves males ejaculating a lot faster if they are presented with different females compared to having to repeatedly mate the same female. This explains why men can prefer novel porn rather than only having images and videos of a single female. In polygamy the man can have multiple partners and so express the Coolidge Effect in a way God permitted.
Maybe God prefers monogamy but he still permitted polygamy in the Old Testament. And if it wasn't for Greek/Roman law I think God would also permit it in the New Testament - like he did for slavery.
I feel a little naricssistic posting this so apologies if it seems that way! I posted questions about my situation before and a couple of people suggested I update so here it is.
I (25F) have been getting to know a couple (43M/38F) for almost three months. I had never considered entering a poly relationship before but we met as friends and hit it off, and though we've been going slowly we're now at the stage where things are starting to feel like they're happening.
Last week they asked me if I would go to church with them on Sunday, and I posted about it because I wasn't sure what to expect (I'm agnostic). Sunday came around and I went with them and it was really positive. Church itself was completely normal, exactly how I might have thought a normal church would be. There was a service and afterwards we talked to a few people. In my other thread somebody asked how I thought they'd introduce me, and...M just called me by my name. This seems obvious in hindsight!
I felt kind of self conscious talking to people, and I kind of defaulted to staying with their kids instead of talking with new people. But I did talk to some, and everybody seemed very nice. I wasn't sure what they were thinking, but probably they weren't thinking anything. It's just a new situation that I need to get used to.
Afterwards I had lunch with M and F and their kids at their place. We talked about religion and it was such an interesting conversation. I hadn't talked in that much depth with anybody about their faith before. It's a very important part of their lives, and I think I'd worried that it might be too big a difference between us but it wasn't. M talked about belief as something we do, instead of something that just comes to us. He said I could make space for God in my life without needing to feel like I believe right away. He had asked me to wear a necklace with a cross on it to church as a gesture, and he said that all I needed was to make that effort and open myself up to the possibility. Going to church, taking a few moments to pray, leaving space to listen and feel.
I have seen them both since, and last night I had dinner with them and we talked more about the future. They have been cautious about opening up their family to somebody new, and they weren't sure if they would meet anybody they felt comfortable with. They now feel they have, and I talked to each of them separately about how they feel (not on purpose, just because sometimes one of them would be busy with the kids). So although we're still not committed, I feel like I know more about where I am and where we might be going.
Anyway I think I wrote enough so I'll stop! Thank you to those of you who gave me advice before x
I’m 20, and my long-term goal is to build a large, healthy, and happy family through a polygynous structure. Since I’m still young, I’m working on my foundation now.
What advice would you give someone my age to prepare properly, avoid common pitfalls, and ensure a stable, loving life down the road? Real talk only. Thanks!
Had a conversation with ChatGPT about my open mindedness towards polygamy. And long long long story short the AI suggested that because iv overdosed on news from Gaza my subconscious is trying to counterbalance death and destruction with the creation of life and growth. Could this be true? Idk…