r/Polygamy

Seriously, without judging. How can I find a girl who is ready for an open relationship? And even marriage. I am a guy who secretly likes my partner to be shared and free, and that contradicts entirely with Algerian society, thus it's near impossible to find a real one. Any thoughts? No judgements, I am old enough to know what I'm doing.

I am seeking a second wife. I want to follow the Sunnah and find a divorcee, widow, or a revert struggling to find a husband to take care of, provide for, and teach the deen to them.

Where do I find women that would be content with that?

Male.I am single. 42years old. Advice please: how does it feel to have two wives. Any issues such as bieng jealous between them. How to manage btween them ?

Serious replies only.

I'm a single 27M in Denmark who's wanted to start a polygamous family for a while now, currently searching for my first wife.

Most dating apps seem to not be working for me, and some sites I've been considering to turn to, specifically for polygamy, I'm not so sure are worth paying for due to the number of possible scam accounts.

I also haven't really got a chance to date in real life yet, and I know that most people around me are highly likely monogamists (I don't want to give anyone the wrong impression or send them false hopes of monogamous exclusivity). I also haven't heard of any poly communities in Denmark, apart from a pretty dead Facebook group.

Do y'all have any advice for a solo polygamist in these times?

Comments from privileged "alpha" males that "polygamy is not for everyone" is irrelevant and not appreciated. We're in r/Polygamy, so stick to giving advice on polygamy instead of advocating for monogamy in a polygamy subreddit. Cheers!

I believe I have a legit reason. My husband and I have been married 6 years, and we share one child. We are Muslim, so polygamy is permissible.I do not satisfy my husband physically. We have tried many things to help, but to no avail. This has caused conflicts, misunderstandings, and we have both hurt each other’s feelings.

He once brought up the conversation telling me that he would probably get married again once he is better off financially. But I shut it down because I was jealous. Now, I just want peace, and I want us both to be happy.

Outside of intimacy, we are very happy. We have the same core values, we have similar interests, and we enjoy spending time together.

And I know for a fact that he is straight, so that’s not an issue. He is definitely attracted to me, it’s just the “chemistry” is off. I am petite woman who has kept a healthy weight , and working on my fitness for my own health . we have tried reading books, talking to each other outside of intimacy, and even therapy. It’s just not there for him. For me, I feel satisfied by him.

He is a very good husband, father, and good provider. I do not believe I can find any better of a husband. Divorce is not an option for me as i do not have any family or much support on my own. He has offered to give me a divorce and offered to give me the car and some money because of the physical issues we have but I don’t want to leave.

Had anyone else ever done this? How would I even bring this conversation up?

And no, this is not a fake post. This is a real marriage, a real person, who is trying to make it work.

I recently watched the polygamist and its a 10/10. I couldn’t help but relate some aspects of the show to my life growing up and even today because wow. For starters my dad left Zim some many many years ago to look for greener pastures just after the 2008 inflation. This was definitely a good move considering money was needed at home for my fees and just general upkeep of the family.

My dad made sure to get all his paperwork done (secretly even my mum had no clue). Then a week before leaving he told my mum he was going to Aus to work and also for school (with the promise that he would get my mum, brother and I as soon as everything settled). My mum isn’t someone who really asks questions she just kind of follows whatever my dad says and decides blindly, the news did come as a shock but what was there to do? Anyways I heard about his leaving when I came home for the weekend. A few years flew by and my dad surprised us with a visit and he stayed for a bit, we were obviously happy because we hadn’t seen him in a while. (Ps he was still a present father because despite the time difference he still attended my parent-teacher meetings over the phone, paid fees on time, called me every weekend, kept up with me in general as any father who is physically present would.)

Many many years passed and the promise of I will get you started to fade, I grew up finished high school and when I turned 18 I just knew everything he had promised was a lie that was just repeated to hush us.
My dad is still somewhat present because remember when I said “many many years passed?” Yea it was about 10 or even more, then he came to my first graduation, time has passed and he has grown old. Again we were very happy to see him (he is my dad after all). Now my mum doesn’t ask questions maybe because she probably doesn’t want to rock the boat or whatever but it makes me a little resentful because my dad lives a double life.

When he was still in Zim my mum would always complain about a specific M woman saying my dad was cheating and it would always start fights, with my dad even hitting my mum a few times that I remember. My theory is that yes he was cheating with this M woman, fell in love. (But I don’t know what this phenomenon is where the older generation of African men don’t like to divorce their wives and move on but would rather keep both. The first wife is usually reserved for when shit hits the fan or as a retirement plan while the gf or second secret partner is kept happy and treated better and they give their livelier years to her.)

Anyway, I think M got an opportunity to relocate and after she left she found my dad a means to also join which he obviously jumped on and took advantage of. Now I think my dad like most men or some men, lied and told her he divorced my mum, till this day they are still traditionally and legally married (OR she knew of the plan and was not opposed to it because the man would be hers anyway) and thats why bringing his first family would have not been an option because alas he already had/has a family over there. Anyways apparently he plans on coming back home to Zim to retire and my mum is just happy to be having her husband back so they can grow old together. At this point I don’t even know if he is using my mum to put projects and all in place so he and his mistress can have something when they probably relocate back home or he is going to just abandon miss M overseas🤷🏾‍♀️.

Anyways, my mum kinda reminds me of Essie in the Polygamist because she lowkey knows there is a 99% chance he has another family who get to have a fully present husband/father, enjoy weekends and just the guidance of a father and overall happiness and benefits meanwhile she is a secret and is left hidden only seen when there is “reason” and the family knows my mum obviously (she is the first wife) but they are Magesh because I am 100% sure they know of the other one too and probably call her “muroora muroora”, whilst they smile in my mums face and require her attendance for family gatherings.

I genuinely hate it for her and any other women who have experienced this because of a man who just wanted to have his cake and eat it too. Now we are stuck in Zim where there are a few opportunities, I finished uni I asked him countless times if he could please help me relocate to come to him so I may get better opportunities but eh. I don’t even care about his secret life at this point I just want to get better opportunities so I can help my mum live a better life shes already suffered enough. He turned her into a bitter person I don’t think she is ever truly 100% happy.

Lol I guess its true what people say when they say if you want to start a conversation just say “men” lol. Because “men”😂 I give thanks yoh. I always tell my mum I am not in a rush to get married because I have already seen all that I need to see😂🤷🏾‍♀️. If you made it this far thanks lol.

I have been married to my wife for over 40 years.
She has never had sex with anyone else as I was her first serious partner.
We got married young and have been together since.
She has always seemed happy with us being together for so long.
57f 60m
Now she tells me that she wants sex outside of the marriage.
She is very attractive and is always getting the attention of men when she’s out and about.
She recently brought a sexy new outfit to show off her amble cleavage.
She has also got a new hair style and looks.
She said now our sons have left home that it’s her time to enjoy.
Should I let her experience other men?
What should I do?

So yea ok I might yap alot and stuff but yea i was just on scrolling on Instagram then came across this post of a polygamous relationship n just one thing that made me think dont ppl in that relationship sometimes get mad or jealous as some points

So my question for ppl in polygamous relationship can u tell me how was getting in to the relationship n dont yall have moments where u wish u the only one dating /married to your partner??

Do some women genuinely desire having multiple husbands? If yes, what makes them feel that way?

While most men want to have consentual polygamy lifestyle like threesome, swinger, swap, groupsex, cuckolding etc; most desi women are not ready to do these things. Desi women are comfortable in doing polygamy through cheating. What are your experience?

Hey I'm just wondering here if there are any polyamoras couples that live in Algeria/ the Arab world and if yes, how the dynamic works in a strict country?

We’ve been together for nearly8 years and I love my wife dearly. Granted, we did not come into marriage polgynous in nature. But as a Christian, I didn’t know that polygamy was originally apart of the culture before that structure was kind of done away with in the west.

When I read the Bible one night, I landed in exodus in Deuteronomy and cant remember how I ended up there. Anyway, this was exciting to me! And something I really felt like could change the way people look at relationships - for the better! Moving on though — even thought it was risky I decided to bring it up to my wife because I trust her. She was surprisingly receptive at first but then talked to some friends and they convinced her that I was trying to cheat openly which made no logical sense at all.

Why would I bring it up just to cheat? Anyway she slowly began to get angry with me over time as I would bring it up every blue moon just to see if she gave it any more thought - we even watched some videos together on it.

We started sleeping in different rooms and she eventually got an abortion. Started going out, and eventually had an emotional affair with a guy that trained her.

I don’t know why all this happened to me. She told my family and I was just trying to sift through it together - and eventually turned everyone against me. It was a dark time for me. I didn’t think me suggesting Polgyny would lead to all this and blame myself.

Does anyone have any thought on this or word of encouragement? Is it weird to say I still desire Polgyny? Do you believe I was wrong in anyway? Open to correction.

My wife and I have been married for many years and have several children ranging in age from 4 to 17. We have a wonderful marriage, great kids, and are blessed in just about every area of life, including financially. This isn’t coming from dissatisfaction with what we have. We genuinely love our life together.

The idea of polygamy has been on my mind for almost 20 years. I first began studying it in the Bible when I was around 19 years old. Since then, I’ve continued to study Scripture, read about its historical practice—including among some of my own ancestors during the early years of our country’s history—and pray about it.

No matter how many years have passed, it has never completely left my mind. In fact, over the past few years it has weighed on me more heavily than ever.

What I’m struggling with most is that I’m genuinely happy and content with my life as it is. I love my wife. I love our children. I don’t feel like anything is missing. Yet at the same time, I can’t shake the feeling that I’ve been suppressing something that’s deeply rooted in who I am.

The more I’ve studied, the more I feel drawn toward plural marriage. Sometimes it feels like, in order to keep living the easier and more socially accepted life I already have, I’m denying something that has been on my heart for decades. Whether that’s truly a calling or simply something I need to continue wrestling with is part of why I’m here asking for advice.

What continues to draw me is the desire to build a larger family, raise more children, and provide for and care for another wife. This isn’t about replacing my wife or fixing a broken marriage. Our marriage is strong. If anything, this is something we are trying to discern together because we don’t want to ignore something we believe we may need to explore.

My wife and I have been having open and honest conversations about it. Recently, I’ve gotten to know a woman a little who was raised in a polygamist family. Her father has multiple wives, so she has lived this lifestyle her entire life and has a perspective we simply don’t have.

We’re not in a relationship with her, nor are we rushing into anything. If we ever moved forward, it would only be with everyone’s full knowledge, consent, and a great deal of prayer and discussion.

One of the biggest questions we’re wrestling with is the age difference. She is a legal adult, but she’s roughly half my age. While she grew up in a plural family and understands the lifestyle far better than we do, my wife and I also remember what we were like at 20. Looking back, we thought we had life figured out, but we’ve both grown and matured tremendously over the last 15–20 years. Age is also a major benefit, we could raise another group of kids with her.

So how do you know when someone that age is truly ready for a lifelong commitment like this?

What conversations did you have?

What signs of emotional maturity gave you confidence?

Were there any red flags that, in hindsight, you wish you had paid more attention to?

I’m also curious about the practical side of things.

How did you know it was the right time to move forward?

How did you introduce a potential second wife to your children, especially when you had children ranging from young kids to teenagers?

At what point did you involve her family?

How did you explain everything to your church and your broader community?

What challenges caught you off guard?

How do I bring it up to my wife’s parents? They live close and are a big part of our lives and I think it would devastate them…

Looking back, what would you tell someone in our position before taking the next step?

We’re active in our church and community, and we know a decision like this would affect far more than just the adults involved. Our church currently teaches against it so it would likely push us out of our church or at least any degree of “good standing”.

Our highest priorities are honoring God, protecting our marriage, loving our children well, and making sure that if we ever move forward, it is done with wisdom, integrity, and genuine care for everyone involved.

I’d especially appreciate hearing from those who have actually lived this lifestyle—not just opinions for or against it, but real experiences, lessons learned, mistakes you made, and things that helped your family succeed. We have far more questions than answers at this point, and we’re genuinely seeking wisdom.

***please share any thoughts…. I’m looking to glean ideas from you and direction***

I saw an old post about this topic and would love other people’s thoughts and opinions about it.

After years of research and experimentation I have found that the relationship style that works for me is ethical monogamy.

To me, ethical monogamy goes beyond just not cheating and clearly communicating relationship goals. For me, it means that I delight in my partner having joyful experiences outside of our relationship as well. I want my partner to have fun with friends, to excel at work, and to take time for themself to recharge and make decisions that are authentic to themself as an individual.

This has been startling to a lot of my monogamous partners. Many have been afraid to take time for themselves or go have fun experiences that do not directly include me. But to me it was always them in their individuality that I wanted in my life.

I thought polyamory would uplift this for me, but I found that it did the opposite. I could no longer delight in my partner’s social life when I felt compared to another partner. Our time apart became threatening. Mostly though I couldn’t connect with the idea of de centering my partner’s negative emotions from my life. I am a very romantic person. I felt immense shame every time I talked to someone new and made my partner sad or jealous (always immediately ending the new connection). I’ve found I don’t want to change that about myself. I want to be a source of safety more than I want new connections. I guess I’m looking for a big found family of friends and I want the same for my partner. Them in their wholeness. For monogamy to be a chosen partnership not a control based partnership.

So... how many first wives out here were the ones to bring up polygyny with their husbands and what was that like?

I have been in the ENM space for 20+ years. Exploring many dynamic configurations for my needs. And since getting married and having a child, (we) have been focused on polygamy.

Since relocating to the Nordics, there is a knee jerk reaction when I say I am polygamous. They associate it with strict religious bias or woman abuse. Yet when I say those are the same arugments for polyamory in my home country, some get defensive.

Even after explaining my wife is from SE Asia and has preference over multiple women to build a loving and supportive home. I still receive criticism about this not being legal. Yet nothing stops multiple people from living together and building a large family together in a spiritual pursuit towards love.

Has anyone else come across this cognitive dissonance in their polygamy journey?

Hello Im muslim (m25) married to F, been browsing this subreddit as im interested in polgyny for myself. While browsing noticed a lot of Christians here, im curious how does christian polygamy actually work? For us muslims its pretty codified in our scripture. Just to give a breakdown of how muslim one works so you can contrast:

- Polygyny is accepted in Islam where the man can have up to 4 wives (whom can also be a christian or jew). The woman can only marry one muslim man not multiple men.

- The man must treat them equally in regards to time and financially (or it is a sin to have more than 1)

- the wives are entitled to their own space
- the wives can interact with each other if they choose to but having sexual relations with each other would be prohibited ​

- the wives are entitled to all the rights one wife would have normally like being financially maintained, protected, led and so on. Except for time which would be evenly split. These rights can be given up for whatever reason willfully by the person who has the right

I know there are many different sects in christianity and find that some christians are on a spectrum with their interpretation but still curious to learn!