u/GoldDiamondsAndBags

So I’ve started to gray rock, detach and started centering myself. I want a divorce, but it’s not feasible at the moment. I’ve already told him I want a divorce.

I no longer wash his clothes, make appts for him, buy his clothes…well, basically nothing except he benefits from a clean house (he treats our home like a hotel, never even cleaning up after himself - I do without arguing bc I like a clean house). He also benefits from a home cooked meal every day because our kids like to eat together as a family and I can’t bring myself to not put extra food enough for him. There’s food in the house bc I do all the grocery shopping.

What’s really pissing me off is he constantly takes and doesn’t think of making sure there’s enough for someone else or replacing what he’s taken.

Yesterday I asked him to please replace X, because I had bought it for a special occasion and he took it. He gets pissed and says “fine if you want things separate that’s what we’ll do (I’ve asked this, but he fails to understand). Then he proceeds to tell me “I won’t even be asking you for a cup of coffee anymore” Like WTF??? He’s “punishing” me for wanting things separate or asking him to replace what he’s taken by taking away my “privilege” of getting him coffee??? Like WTF is going on in this guys head??? 😂 I just ignored his comment and didn’t even respond.

Anyhow…so I’m asking for some advice or guidance, please. I’ve stopped asking him to clean up after himself bc I don’t want to argue. But now he’s causing me more work by just taking whatever I buy (even things for myself) and not replacing. It’s rude and inconsiderate. Am I supposed to shut up about this too and just accept it to not argue?

This gray rocking shit is hard when someone wants to be the biggest asshole on planet.

Any advice?

So I’ve started to gray rock, detach and started centering myself. I want a divorce, but it’s not feasible at the moment. I’ve already told him I want a divorce.

I no longer wash his clothes, make appts for him, buy his clothes…well, basically nothing except he benefits from a clean house (he treats our home like a hotel, never even cleaning up after himself - I do without arguing bc I like a clean house). He also benefits from a home cooked meal every day because our kids like to eat together as a family and I can’t bring myself to not put extra food enough for him. There’s food in the house bc I do all the grocery shopping.

What’s really pissing me off is he constantly takes and doesn’t think of making sure there’s enough for someone else or replacing what he’s taken.

Yesterday I asked him to please replace X, because I had bought it for a special occasion and he took it. He gets pissed and says “fine if you want things separate that’s what we’ll do (I’ve asked this, but he fails to understand). Then he proceeds to tell me “I won’t even be asking you for a cup of coffee” Like WTF??? He’s “punishing” me for wanting things separate or asking him to replace what he’s taken by taking away my “privilege” of getting him coffee??? Like WTF is going on in this guys head??? 😂 I just ignored his comment and didn’t even respond.

Anyhow…so I’m asking for some advice or guidance, please. I’ve stopped asking him to clean up after himself bc I don’t want to argue. But now he’s causing me more work by just taking whatever I buy (even things for myself) and not replacing. It’s rude and inconsiderate. Am I supposed to shut up about this too and just accept it to not argue?

This gray rocking shit is hard when someone wants to be the biggest asshole on planet.

Any advice?

Crossposting bc I need advice, please.

I have two boys. A teen and a preteen. My soon to be ex (their father) has misdemeanor convictions for DV against an ex. While I realize his ex is also a POS (I’ll spare the details but their adult son and even her own adult kids don’t have a relationship with her, but they do with us) it still doesn’t excuse the DV.

I’ve always excused just how shitty he treats me and I’ve finally stood up for myself and have already told him I want a divorce. He’s a shitty partner and I’m just done. However, I’ve made him out as the best husband and father (I know, hindsight is 20/20). So I’ve always made excuses for him as why he can’t volunteer at school (too busy with work) or can’t go hunting (too tired).

My kids really want to go to Canada and although his convictions are misdemeanors he can’t go if he has any DV conviction. I don’t mind taking trips with the kids (and him) as I can handle the situation, but my kids don’t know about his convictions or that he’s barred from traveling to Canada. He’s always avoided the conversation and knows I always cover for him when they do ask.

But should I tell the kids? Do I do it now? Do I wait? Do I tell them what the conviction is for? What if they ask for details? Do I give them the details? Or do I just continue covering that he’s “tOo bUsY wOrKiNg”

Any advice would be appreciated.

Boys are 11 and 14.

Any recommendations for the best beef stroganoff in the city? Milwaukee Steakhouse had it a few weeks ago as their special and it was so salty it was inedible.

I would prefer it to not be super heavy on the garlic either.

Thoughts?

Please tell me that I’m not the only one annoyed (and if it’s legitimate, please correct me). Why does Kyle keep using mental health diagnoses as adjectives?

“I’m so OCD about this.” “I’m ADHD about that.”

She does this repeatedly and it really annoys me. I would think if she actually suffered from these diagnoses she wouldn’t use them as adjectives and use her platform to talk about her disorders. Maybe bring awareness to it and how completely exhausting and difficult it is to deal with it.

As someone who legitimately has OCD and is raising a child with extreme OCD (let me tell you raising a child with it is a million times worse than what goes on through your own mind dealing with it) this is a truly heartbreaking condition.

OCD is actually considered by the World Health Organization as one of the top 10 most debilitating disorders. OCD is not being persnickety about something. OCD is not liking things in a certain order. OCD is not being super clean. My 10 year olds hands bleed from how often he washes his hands. Is that the same thing as you wanting to have all the details about something, Kyle???

I can’t speak to ADHD, but I assume it must annoy someone who *actually* suffers from this as well.

And why does no one call Kyle out on this bullshit??

Goodbye, Kyle!!!

WTF is this insanity? So we typically go to the Pfister for Mother’s Day brunch, although we haven’t gone the last 3 years. 3 years ago when we last went it was $75/pp, which I thought was a little pricey for what it is. The selection is good, but not great. And I don’t want to cook or think about it cooking, so whatever…. we went.

This year the price is $119 per person!! I’m sorry, that is fucking insane!!!!! We also tip there, but when reserving you have to prepay and they also add a 24% service fee plus fees for paying by credit card (your only option). So that means for a family of 4 (2 adults and 2 kids aged 11, 12) your total is almost $650. FOR BRUNCH!!!! In MKE!!!!! And that doesn’t even take into consideration if you tip the staff there!!

Am I out of my mind thinking this is absolutely ludicrous?!?!?! I’d rather go and buy a luxury handbag and eat at home 😂

I must not be the only one because I remember this event was always booked out for at least a month before. I checked this morning and there’s still plenty of openings.

Anyone have any other good brunch suggestions for Mother’s Day?!?!

I realize this is a first world problem combined with something above Reddit’s pay grade.

But my husband just gifted me the Sephora Perfume Sampler set and the Sephora Clean me up makeup sampler. He spent $100 on these two items. I’ll get back to this in a minute.

He bought them for me for our anniversary. Funny thing is I’ve already asked for a divorce because he is an absolute asshole to me. I’ll spare the details. Anyhow he routinely “forgets” my birthday, Mother’s Day and anything special. For Christmas he usually doesn’t get me anything, but this year he gave me pajamas…..that were a kid’s size - I’m an adult medium (and got mad at me when I said it wasn’t my size “because at least he tried…he just didn’t realize he ordered from the kids section”). He did nothing to rectify or get the right size. He also gifted me some chocolate that in some random conversation I had told him 2 weeks earlier that I did not like. But not this anniversary…no, he did not forget! So I can’t complain about him not gifting me anything anymore, right? 🙄

Cue the fucking Sephora sampler perfume and sampler makeup set. If there’s one thing I’ve stated in conversation multiple times throughout our 15 year relationship is how much I hate samples and sample/deluxe sizes. I have bags and bags of Ulta GWP I never use. I also never order any samples with my Sephora orders unless I know I’ll give them away. The perfume? Since the moment we met he knows how picky I am about smells. Like certain smells will make me throw up and I’ve always stuck to the same 2 perfumes. I don’t like exploring smells. He’s gifted me perfumes before that have all remained unused because of this and I’ve expressed this nicely over the years. These are the only two weird things about me and makeup/perfumes. I love luxury makeup and most of it is Chanel and Dior. He knows the 2 perfumes I like. He sees me giving my niece bags and samples from Ulta bc he knows I don’t like sample or deluxe sizes. Like he actually knows this stuff, not that I think he does. It’s like he did this on purpose. You don’t like perfumes or sample sizes??? Let’s get you both, let’s get them NON-RETURNABLE and let’s ignore what you’d actually like.

So now I’m stuck with these 2 Sephora sets that aren’t returnable when I was lusting over the new Dior pink la Baume and daisy collection. I’ve also been lusting after the Chanel raffia set. It’s literally all I talk about. But now I have these 2 sample sets from Sephora that I’ll never use and can’t even return. But at least I gotta be thankful he got me anything, right?

Anyhow…just placed an order at Nordstrom for the Dior products I really wanted.

And you all can say I’m ungrateful, but word to the young girls here…..when a man specifically buys you things you’ve mentioned you don’t like just so he can “look good because he’s trying” he’s not really trying. He’s performing for everyone else.