u/GoldenMilk379

Moved into this adjusted rent studio apt a few months ago and I feel like it's drastically affecting my health. There's no windows, just the glass door next to the glass screen window, and the sunlight doesn't hit my apartment at all... so it could be a 30 degree sunny day and it's pitch black in my studio. Every time I'm home I feel fatigued and brain fog. I feel like no windows accumulates the CO2. No sunlight is affecting my mood. If I leave the door open for fresh air I have to compromise my privacy because people can look right in ( high foot traffic where I live in the Sydney CBD ). I think my thyroid health is worsening but I have to get it checked out. I previously left a transitional housing situation after being homeless so I am thankful to have a home but also very wary of how much my health is being affected by this place. Just wondering about the laws in a place like this. I don't know how this place manages to be above board because I'm 27 and typically very healthy but this place is making me feel shitty and I am not in a financial position to find somewhere else right now.

Living in the middle of the city has been running me dry. Thankful for this accomodation after being homeless, most definitely. But the environment has been really rough on my energy and physical body. No windows so if I want fresh air I leave the door open but then that means strangers walking past can look right in (high foot traffic outside my door). I'm across from a massive construction site and everyday I wake up to the sound of machines with no birds. I don't have any green space at home (front yard or back yard), and there is one park up the street that sometimes I go to but if I want to, say do qigong there I feel so vulnerable because its a bunch of corporate people walking around on their way to work in the morning.

I'm a massage therapist and particularly when I work weekends I'll be doing anywhere from 6 to 8 massages back to back with a little break halfway if I'm doing 8. I love what I do however I'm finding that when I work the weekends I'm really wiped out energetically. I come home and I feel irritated, exhausted, a bit dissociated. And home should be recharging but it is not because I live in the city. i don't know how to exit this loop. I need help

I (27F) am all for nudity around other women ( in certain contexts ). It's how we came into the world right? However I find it very annoying when female clients think them being comfortable with their own body means others want to see them. I had a client yesterday who I asked, "are you ready?" And she said, "you can come in" and as I enter, she's standing there topless. I hate when clients do this. At that point do I step out? Do I say, "you're not ready yet so I'll just step out again, wait for you to get on the table and cover yourself as I asked then let me know when you're ready"? It's only a few seconds to get on the table at that point so what's the point? Why do they do this? When I explicitly tell them to dress down to their undies, LAY on the bed face down, COVER themselves with the towel. Throughout the massage she started coughing and got up and drank water, again topless. She had breast implants so I maybe got an air of, "I paid money so I want to show them off". Regardless, it's not my business or my problem. I'm there to do a massage. I don't care if we're both women and that means you feel comfortable with me seeing your body. I don't feel comfortable. Not to mention when I was massaging her thighs there was a very strong odour coming from her genitals which could've been BV, not sure but in that case how do you advise someone they smell and that they may need to see a medical health professional in that regard? I think women need to stop being so laissez faire with other women to the point where they think boundaries don't matter. No, you're in a professional setting, just follow the instructions I gave you dammit!

I (27F) left a DV situation two years ago and went from staying in a homeless shelter to transitional housing to now my own place. Its great to live in safety for the first time in my life but have really been struggling getting my feet steady financially, feels like im in a rut and staying in the adjusted rent housing im in makes me feel segregated from society in a way. I went to TAFE to do a course and completed my Cert IV and have been working in industry since but it's been an extremely laborious job that has been taxing on the body. I've been doing this job as a contractor but haven't been seeing much money out of it and living paycheck to paycheck. I'm on JSK to make ends meet because it's not viable to do this job with the equivalent of full time hours for other careers. I'm wondering what's a random day job in the mean time ( or OT like a call centre job ) that isn't especially physically taxing that I can work to get my savings up quickly in the short term?

\*By OT I meant night shift, sorry brain is not fully on currently

Looked at my reviews today and the last two I had from some weeks ago gave me low ratings ; the most recent one said they were disappointed in the massage because it felt like one they'd get from a girlfriend and probably will not come back. The other one said that they were unimpressed. I have a wide variation in how people receive my massage, I'm definitely lacking in confidence right now when it comes to my skill and knowing what I'm doing. Sometimes they really enjoy it particularly when I'm more present and ask after my name after the massage. What frustrates me is pretty much every time I give a massage someone REALLY enjoys, they NEVER leave a review. These two last reviews saying they were disappointed is weighing on me because it feels personal -- I just invested my personal energy into their body and they were unimpressed to the point of not coming back?!

I haven't gotten any direct complaints but sheesh... I know I have a lot to learn and I am so self conscious about how good I can make people feel. I know another factor is the spa environment ; when I'm especially tired from doing 6 people earlier I can't give my all or my best work. It's also that I didn't complete my diploma in remedial and just did the relaxation massage certificate.

Any words of encouragement for someone new in the game ? I've only been massaging for 6 months

My friend has been on a journey with discovering her transness. I've been unsure of how to introduce her to friends and family without pointing out that she's trans. Yesterday I introduced her to a family member and said "X is my music sister" so as to imply that we are friends that met through our love for music, but also to make it known that she is trans. I don't know smooth ways to do it without being so blatantly obvious -- "X is trans by the way". I would love advice on how to introduce her to people I know

Yesterday I went for a chat / very informal interview with a woman who runs a fairly small head spa. While I liked her relaxed personality I noticed there was an energy of disorganisation and a little bit of a lack of professionalism, I'm trying to discern what is normal for a small business and what isn't. I think my main concern is the lack of boundaries when it comes to working for someone in a small business

1. Upon arrival she showed me the shelves her husband installed that morning and they were crooked and she was laughing about it which is transparent I guess? But feels strange to point out with someone who just arrived for potential employment prospects
2. Then asked me to start moving some products from the cabinet in the makeshift stock room to the shelf. It wasnt much at all but I wasn't expecting to be a helping hand before we even spoke about anything, it's more the premise of being asked than the action. Personally I wouldn't expect someone I just met for an interview to help me
3. Another girl was supposed to come for the interview but didn't so instead of us trying out the techniques with each other I ended up doing what felt like a mock or trial treatment on the owner. I felt really awkward and put on the spot even though she was chill about it
4. A lot of "thinking of" doing this and that, seems like a lot of experimentation and trial and error with the packages being offered which is normal for a year old business... but for me as a potential employee asking for direct answers about treatments again it feels disorganised
5. A lot of general clutter in the space. When I arrived it felt like I was in someone's home more than a professional clinic space. Not clutter in the actively used treatment rooms ( from what I could see ) but in the other rooms... I just would want things to be organised before bringing in potential employees
6. Being asked about where I grew up and if I live by myself. I understand it's conversational but my living situation is something I don't want to discuss because there's a story attached to it and I just don't want that to really come up

These things make me think that this place lacks organisation and boundaries ie I might be asked or expected to do things outside my role or rostered time or texting management outside of 9-6... Thoughts ? From people who have ran small businesses or run small businesses themselves. I have to give props to the woman as it must be hard being a mother and trying to do it all but I'm not so sure about if I should take the job because there is a lot of learning potentiality or if I shouldn't

I ( 27F AUS ) might be erring on the edge of codependency with my partner ( 29 soon 30M USA ). We speak every single day and are almost at a year mark. The plan is for me to go out there and visit him initially, because I've been the one wanting change and to see what it's like there.

Our routine because of the time difference is speaking when he wakes up / it's close to my bed time, and when I wake up / he's just getting off work.
However, both of us have unstable work routines / a gig type of work, and I find when we both have the time I love to just be on the phone with him for our shared presence while I'm washing the dishes, cooking, doing my own thing, or while he's working. Neither of us have to be saying anything, it functions similar to parallel play. It's more the presence than needing something to say. However as much as I love this I'm finding my day to day attention is quite divided between him and whatever I'm doing, and it's affecting my sleep as well. I love speaking to him right before either of us sleeps, and right when either of us wake up, it feels like it simulates the experience of waking up together or going to sleep together. I do feel like my sleep has gone down in quality and screentime has been excessive and it's affecting my health.

Does anyone know ways around this other than the obvious which is speaking significantly less? I really love us being on the phone or FaceTime together and it's something I was hoping I wouldn't have to compromise on but that might just be the case.

Also : Neither of us are financially cashed up right now so in terms of teeing up plans to go there, it's still watery. However I don't have doubt in our relationship.

Also : I haven't mentioned this relationship to anyone except a friend from overseas and my closest cousin. I have always been a private person when it comes to being in a relationship and the reason why I forego mentioning it is because I don't want the perception to be that I am delusionally in a relationship with someone I've never met in person. I am waiting for us to physically come together before really officialising it. He also doesn't mind if I mention him to other people or not.

Everything everyone ever says on this forum about being in a spa, I vouch for. It's only been 6 months and I'm burnt out. I thought a table to start mobile massage however even the app I was intending on getting initial clientele from seems quiet for the last week... I don't feel confident enough to fully start up my own thing yet, do the Instagram and branding and all that... I work weekends and they are my main source of income at the moment but I feel trapped. I really need advice on how to get free from this spa... they undervalue how hard the MTs work especially me, I show up with bright vibrant energy everyday and work the front desk too ( as an employee ) but just feel like I'm starting to give less and less of a F.... so anyone successfully transitioned out of the spa? I LOVE massage but I hate doing 8 massages in a row with like no turnover time between pretty much... and clients never returning as much appreciation in return for how much care I give them... I have no savings and a coworker says finding a place to work for as an employee and not a contractor helps with stability

Hi guys,

Wondering what you do for your routine when clients want a relaxation massage but firm pressure. To me at that point it's not a relaxation anymore because I can't go firm with my palms doing effleurage. We have two types of massage where I work ; relaxation and deep tissue and to be honest both of them I do more or less the same techniques... just much slower and more deep gliding with my ulna edge with deep tissue ...