u/Great-Decision6827

The more I learn from other Aspies' experiences, the more I come to the conclusion that it would be far better off if I become more paranoid and avoid giving into the thought that people are all innately kind and we'll meaning. Ive come across the statistic that around 90% of women who are on the autism spectrum have experienced sexual assault in their lifetime. As a female Aspie who's biggest fear is getting raped, this was very disturbing to me. And listening to other Aspie women's stories, this seems to be truthful.

There have been many such cases where, in my younger days, I have trusted NTs only to be somehow tricked or picked on by them, simply because they could send there was something wrong with me before I could. A lot of people envision rapists as thug-like individuals who capture women as they are walking alone at night. That's not really untrue, but a lot of the time sexual assault occurs between family members, bosses or just generally other people who have the upper hand over you. Not just sleazy people at parties who drug their victims at night. This also seems to apply to men on the autism spectrum as well, I've heard many stories from men who have gone through something similar because an ill-minded individual recognized that they lacked a sense of social understanding and decided to pret upon that.

I'm honestly really paranoid that I could be tricked by someone like this and get sexually abused in some way. I always refrain from parties or walking out at night(not just because I'm paranoid of being hurt, but also because I generally just don't care for parties or going out in general) or any other places where rape is common. But still, just knowing that there are cruel people who actively seek out autistic individuals to prey upon so that they could sexually abused them honestly makes me very scared for myself.

I'm scared I may end up trusting such an individual. So would it be better off to just be paranoid of everyone and assume that everyone is somewhat of a threat?

I know that the uncanny valley effect is the reason why most NTs are creeped out by us on the autism spectrum. I've heard a lot of people say that random people will start shit with them or give them bad looks just because NTs sense a bad vibe from them. I'm pretty sure we've all been through this. But is there any way to fix this issue? Do I need to mask better? Make my body language less awkward? Because I have done literally nothing to people yet they still come to the conclusion that I'm a creep and a weirdo just because of something I can't control all too well.

As for the most socially accepted types, I saw most people say ISFJ, ESFJ, ENFJ and ESTJ

I put my parents into little categories based off of what they are best at providing for me. In my opinion, there are three skills that make an optimal parent - being able to provide for your child with basic necessities(food, education, shelter etc.), being able to listen and give advice to your child's emotional needs and lastly, being able to engage in your child's interests to make them happy. I think these three traits would make the most optimal parent and I think others would agree. But I've got three parental guardians - a mother, father and stepfather. And none of them quite seem to possess all three traits. They tend to be good at one trait, but relatively bad at handling the other two traits. And so I have put them into categories based off of what they can provide for me. For example - if you can provide my emotional needs, then don't even bother providing for my basic necessities or interests, because my other two parents had got that covered.

My mother(ENFJ sp2w3) - very psychologist like. Growing up I found her emotions very difficult for me to deal with. But it is becaus of her empathy that I could rely on her for emotional and relationship advice. I genuinely don't care if she can't provide my necessities or interest, as long as she provides my emotional needs, I don't care.

My father(INTP sx9w8) - he's really not the best at covering for my emotional needs. Not that he's uncaring. He's very caring. But hes rather emotionally immature and not quite smart in general. He does genuinely mean well, but he's in a completely nother world, which makes it difficult for me to properly rely on him for emotional support. And then there's financial support, he buys me gifts relating to my interests, which I do appreciate. But he often dumps his money on all sorts of other useless stuff that in the end, he can't really provide anything for me financially. But he can absolutely talk about our charged interests for hours and hours. My mother and stepfather are often busy and don't care for this stuff, but I can always rely on talking to my father about stuff that interests us. I genuinely don't care if he can't provide my necessities or emotional needs, as he provides for my interests, I don't care.

Stepfather(ISTJ sp1w9) - My stepfather is the most distant of all of them. Emotionally and interests wise at least. I've tried talking to him about this stuff, but he tends to pass it off as useless and a waste if time. But he does provide for all my financial support, so I genuinely don't care. I genuinely don't care if he can't provide for my interests or emotional needs, as he provides for my basic necessities, don't care.

1. how do you want to be viewed?

-in all honestly, I don’t really care how people see me as a person. All I really care about is that people recognise my skill and knowledge. I like drawing, I’ve been doing it since I was age 1. I’m currently learning animation. Even if im seen as a piece of shit, I don’t really care as long as they recognise my skill - “wow, that person is a huge asshole, but you can’t deny, they’re a really talented artist.”

2.what kind of people do you like?

-I like straightforward and unorthodox people. I like people who are interesting to observe, even when I’m not interacting with them. There have been many cases where I’ve taken interest in strange people who aren’t afraid to be honest about how they truly feel. I feel perfectly content just watching them from afar. I don’t think I’d have it in me to actually interact though. And if I do, I’d try to get to know their interests. It’s important to me that my friends have similar interests as me, otherwise, there’s not much we’d really talk about.

3.what kind of people do you

dislike?

-overly conformist people who are only ever into mainstream stuff. But I especially don’t like fake people who are vague about their intentions. A lot of my bullies were people like that.

4.What makes you feel loved?

-People who accept me for my avoidant personality. I’m a bit hard to get close to so I’d really feel loved if someone was actually willing to be with me despite those qualities, as I know avoidant people aren’t very attractive socially wise. I’m also bit of a weirdo so it feels nice to be accepted for who I truly am.

5.What makes you feel hated?

-Being mocked or having my personal space invaded, but I’m specifically talking about instances where people are invading it on purpose, fully knowing that I hate it.

6. what’s you biggest fear?

-Being in a position where something is against my will. Autonomy is very important to me.

7.what gives life meaning?

-I don’t think life really has objective meaning. But personally speaking, I love learning new things. You learn something new every day. That quote sorta keeps me alive.

8.how do you act under stress?

-I isolate myself and get very irritated. There’s a big chance I might lash out at anyone who tries to interact with me.