u/Greedy-Plant-6347

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So, I have self harmed in other forms but I’ve never really left cuts on my arms. I’m not going to go into detail because I’m paranoid someone’s going to connect this post to me somehow, maybe that’s irrational but moving on… I stand out and I know people are talking about me, probably judging me, making fun of me and so on. It happens everyday i’m there. And, I just sort of feel like if I leave marks on my arms, they’d leave me alone? Like, somehow these marks would make them stop making fun of me.

I just want to look feminine and like an ordinary
cisgendered woman BECAUSE I AM A CISGENDERED FEMALE. But being middle eastern and having PCOS, I do have some masculine features which sometimes make people question my gender identity and it’s actually really hurtful. :(

Does anyone else feel this way and hate looking androgynous against their will? I just really want to look like a girl. I’m not trans, I was born a female at birth but I have enough masculine features that I don’t feel like I fit in as one.

My braces are coming off in my next appointment … Is it too late to ask about them fixing my recessed maxilla???

So i’ve just left child services and now I’m being moved into adult therapy instead. I don’t know when I’m gonna actually have an appointment but between being discharged a few months ago and now, I’ve started purposefully causing myself bruises all over my legs because I find the colours pretty. Purple blue green yellow brown black. I usually wear shorts so it would be visible to them… Would the person inquire about it? And if I answer truthfully, would it be made into a big deal?

I did a couple brief google and reddit searches but couldn’t find much on this topic. I don’t know what’s wrong with me but I purposefully punch myself in the legs to cause bruising. I like how colourful it is, purple, blue, green, yellow, brown and black covering my thighs and legs. I want to look down at my thighs and legs and see all those pretty colours and for others to as well.

I’m autistic and used to bang myself in the head and thighs before in certain overwhelming situations but now, when I hit myself in the legs, sometimes it’s for that, but other times I just want to build more bruises on myself. Is this something other people do, for this reason? I don’t fully understand why I feel this way but I guess bruises just feel so pretty to me, and I guess I sort of want peoples attention? I don’t know. I just want to see if anyone relates to this in any way? Or what anyone’s thoughts are on this topic? I can’t find a lot of people or things online that bruise themselves for this reason…

I often hit myself hard in the legs to cause bruising because I like how it looks. I do it everyday, throughout the day when nobody can see. I like how colourful it looks, purple, blue, green, yellow, brown and black all over. I like covering my legs in bruises.

Ive searched this up briefly and couldn’t find much on it online though. I know it’s under self harm/injury but I couldn’t find much on people doing it for the reason I am. I do have autism and in certain situations bang myself on the head or thighs, but this is separate from that. This is me wanting to see colours on my legs and for others to as well. I don’t really understand why. I can’t find a lot on it online. Does anyone have any thoughts on this? Is this like a thing a lot of others do and is there a community for it??

I think the deadline for applying for student finance is in May but the deadline for me to pick the uni I’d want to go to is in June… So I’m a little lost. I’ve got 4/5 offers that I’m considering. Do I apply for student finance 4 times? And then scrap 3 of them in June? I tried calling them twice to ask what to do, but I got nervous and hung up before speaking to someone cause it kept making me put in numbers and delaying a convo. I already applied so I could just get it out the way but idk if I should apply 3 more times or something. Or if I change the course + subject after June, if that’s something that’s possible? The 4 courses are all similar, just a different variation of one subject.