u/HappyMushroom2807

Nine years ago, I graduated from college. Today, I’m 31, I have a family, and life has moved on in many ways.

During college, I had a few good friends. I lived with them in the college hostel, so naturally, we became quite connected and spent a lot of time together. But before that, throughout my academic journey—school, high school, and even my bachelor’s degree—I never really had close friendships. I’m not sure why, but I simply didn’t have many friends, or at least not the kind of friendships where I felt truly connected.

For a long time, I’ve been having dreams about my college friends, especially the girls. In some dreams, I’m trying to fit into their study circle, or I feel insecure because they have a group that doesn’t include me. In other dreams, there’s my friend X, who was genuinely good to me, but somehow I betrayed her and chose to be part of another group—the same group X never wanted to be friends with. Then, in the dream, I try to convince X to join that group.

Sometimes, I wake up feeling disappointed or left out.

What’s interesting is that in my current life, most of those connections have faded. We don’t call or message each other anymore; we mostly just interact through Instagram likes or occasional updates. I’m still in touch with X, though, and we talk from time to time.

I do sometimes miss my college girlies and the idea of getting together, laughing, and spending time like we used to. But at the same time, I don’t miss it intensely or feel like I need those friendships back in my life.

I don't understand why I get such dreams?

I’ve been working with Oracle Health for a while and haven’t done much development work recently. I have hands-on experience/knowledge with ETL, ADW, OCI, ODI, SQL, etc.

I’m looking to move to a role where I can get back into more development-focused work. For those who have made a similar transition, which companies or types of roles would be relatively easier to crack with this background?

Also open to suggestions on what skills I should strengthen to improve my chances.

Did any layoffs happen today?

What are the responsibilities of an oac developer in LTI mindtree?

My baby girl is turning 2 in a month, and I want to make it really special for her.

I know she probably won't remember it when she grows up, but I want it to be a beautiful memory for us as a family.

I'm looking for ideas for:( in Bangalore)

* A meaningful gift she'll cherish (or appreciate later)

* A simple but memorable way to celebrate

* Places we could visit or experiences we could have together

Last year, we visited our Kuldevi Mandir for darshan and celebrated with little kids by offering them food and small gifts. It felt very meaningful, so this year I'm looking for something equally special—simple, heartfelt, and memorable. Please suggest.

TIA

I am Maharashtrian, and my husband is from a Baniya family. We had a love marriage in 2020 after facing significant resistance from both families due to cultural differences. Eventually, everyone accepted our relationship, and we got married during the COVID period. Today, we have a 2-year-old daughter, and both families love us and our child.

After marriage, my in-laws have generally treated me well. However, they were not financially stable at the time of our wedding. My husband had taken a personal loan for the marriage, while my parents bore most of the wedding expenses, and I also contributed from my salary. After marriage, I helped my husband repay his personal loan, our education loans, and even the family loans and mortgage that his parents had. My in-laws run a small kirana shop with limited income. My husband also invested in constructing the second and third floors of their house and paid for the interiors.

Over the last 4–5 years, my husband and I have worked hard together to clear all these financial responsibilities while also raising our daughter. I have never regretted supporting my husband and his family financially.

My parents, on the other hand, may not have followed every traditional wedding ritual or custom that is common in the Baniya community, but they have always supported us in practical ways. They helped significantly with our wedding expenses, later provided substantial financial support when we purchased our home in this city, and have stood by us whenever we needed help. Their support has always been meaningful, even if it wasn't expressed through elaborate customs or ceremonial gifts. However they do follow many other rituals of giving lifafa etc. and I never seen the other way from my in-laws towards my family (that is another topic)

The concern I have is regarding my younger brother-in-law. After graduating in 2021, he has never had a stable job. He has frequently quit jobs, tried different business ideas, but has never consistently contributed to the family's responsibilities. My husband and my in-laws are aware of this, and I have discussed it with my husband several times.

Recently, in May, my brother-in-law got engaged to a Baniya girl through a love marriage. Since then, a few things have been bothering me:

My brother-in-law still does not have a stable job, yet my husband and I are contributing toward some of his wedding expenses.

My in-laws seem extremely excited about his marriage. Since his fiancée is also from the Baniya community, both families are following many traditional customs and rituals, including exchanging gifts and other ceremonial practices for the groom's family. During my marriage, many of these customs did not happen because my family has different cultural traditions. Although I completely respect these differences, I sometimes feel that the excitement and warmth surrounding this wedding are much greater than what I experienced, and that leaves me feeling hurt and excluded.

I feel my in-laws assume that my husband, being the elder son, will always shoulder every financial responsibility, while they have much lower expectations from the younger son. This imbalance doesn't seem fair to me.

My brother-in-law's fiancée recently got a job in the same city where we live. She stays in a PG, while my brother-in-law lives with us in our one-bedroom apartment. He spends most of his time on his phone, occasionally pretends to help with our daughter, but rarely contributes to household responsibilities.

I sometimes feel that my in-laws are more excited to welcome their future daughter-in-law than they ever were for me. It makes me question whether they primarily value us because of the financial support we provide.

I've shared these feelings with my husband. He agrees with many of my concerns, especially regarding the unequal distribution of responsibility. However, he believes I am mistaken in thinking that his parents are biased toward his younger brother or his fiancée.

I genuinely want to know whether my feelings are reasonable or if I am overthinking the situation.

On another note,

I have a good relationship with my in-laws, my brother-in-law, and his fiancée. Whenever she visits, I happily host her and cook for her. I genuinely don't want to spoil my relationship with her because she hasn't done anything wrong. My concerns are not about her personally.

During my wedding, my parents gifted me a mangalsutra, bangles, and a ring, while my in-laws gave me one necklace set (which is still with my mother-in-law). They made 2 necklaces (1 for each DIL) I told them I don't have any interest in any of your necklace, you can sell both and do whatever you want(ofcourse in polite way)

My concern is that despite having a limited budget, my in-laws have already gifted my brother-in-law's fiancée a gold chain(MILs chain) and ring at the engagement and are planning to give more jewellery. I wouldn't mind if my brother-in-law were financially independent and paying for these expenses himself. Instead, my husband and I have spent years clearing family loans and taking on responsibilities, while he has never contributed.

I'm staying out of the wedding discussions. My only focus is making sure my husband doesn't end up carrying another financial burden. I'm also ensuring the jewellery gifted by my parents remains safe. Beyond that, I don't care about my in-laws' jewellery—I just want fairness in financial responsibilities.

You could write it like this for a Reddit post. It sounds honest and relatable without being overly emotional:

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I have been working as a software engineer for the past 7+ years in the same company.

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During the initial years of my career, I never really thought about switching jobs. Then I got married, and a few years later, we had a baby. At that stage of life, I chose stability over career moves because I didn't want the stress of a job change to affect my family and personal life.

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Everything was fine until the last couple of years. Now, I no longer find my work interesting, there hasn't been much growth, and the lack of meaningful hikes has made me seriously consider moving on.

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The challenge is that my husband and I live in Bangalore by ourselves, and we don't have anyone to help take care of our 1.7-year-old child. I've been looking for work-from-home opportunities, but I haven't had much luck finding roles that match my experience and expectations.

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My husband has been incredibly supportive and keeps reminding me that parenting is a shared responsibility. He's willing to take care of our child if I decide to take up a hybrid role, which gives me some confidence to explore more options.

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What I'm struggling with the most is my confidence when it comes to interviews. It's been more than seven years since I last interviewed, and I feel anxious about the current hiring process, especially the timed coding rounds.

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Has anyone been in a similar situation and successfully switched jobs after a long gap without interviewing? How did you prepare, rebuild your confidence, and manage work alongside parenting responsibilities? Any advice, company recommendations, or experiences would really help.

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Hi everyone,

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I have 7+ years of experience as a Software Engineer, working on scalable data platforms, ETL pipelines, data warehousing, cloud technologies (AWS/OCI), SQL optimization, data modeling, and analytics solutions.

Most of my recent experience has been focused on designing and optimizing data pipelines, improving performance, and working with large-scale data systems. I also use AI-powered tools to improve productivity, automate repetitive tasks, and accelerate development workflows.

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However, it's been quite a while since I've practiced competitive programming or LeetCode-style coding questions. While I have problem-solving skills, I struggle with the time-pressured coding rounds that many companies use during interviews.

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I'm actively looking for opportunities in Bangalore, so I'd especially appreciate recommendations for companies that have a more practical interview process focused on data engineering skills, SQL, project discussions, coding questions and real-world scenarios rather than algorithm-heavy coding tests. If you've recently interviewed with companies that were relatively straightforward to crack for experienced professionals, please do share the company names and your experiences.

Thanks in advance!

Hi everyone,

I have 7+ years of experience as a Software Engineer, working on scalable data platforms, ETL pipelines, data warehousing, cloud technologies (AWS/OCI), SQL optimization, data modeling, and analytics solutions. Most of my recent experience has been focused on designing and optimizing data pipelines, improving performance, and working with large-scale data systems. I also use AI-powered tools to improve productivity, automate repetitive tasks, and accelerate development workflows.

However, it's been quite a while since I've practiced competitive programming or LeetCode-style coding questions. While I have problem-solving skills, I struggle with the time-pressured coding rounds that many companies use during interviews.

I'm actively looking for opportunities in Bangalore, so I'd especially appreciate recommendations for companies that have a more practical interview process focused on data engineering skills, SQL, project discussions, coding questions and real-world scenarios rather than algorithm-heavy coding tests. If you've recently interviewed with companies that were relatively straightforward to crack for experienced professionals, please do share the company names and your experiences. Thanks in advance!

What is the severance they give if laid off?

It is based on what terms?