Lost regarding next steps in life. Wished and planned something but life is going nowhere.
I am 29F. I had planned very earlier in my life that I would get married by 26 or 27, and start family by 30. And now I don't even have interest in marriage. I have not even started looking anywhere for AM coz I don't even feel inclined towards it, and if I ever wanna do it, I want my full heart in it. I had one sided feelings for someone in past and got out of them very late, and have lost all interest and energy in that.
Also i don't know where i am going with my career. I am not able to deliver things, getting humiliated each day by manager, has made my mental health worse. Can't quit coz of economy right now.
I have struggle with what to speak and expressing, and not good with it, due to which I get misunderstood a lot professionally and socially. Also being weak in verbal communication skill one of the causes of professional, personal amd social setbacks.
All my life I have lived with discipline amd made sacrifices just to be morally upright and for good career and long term future, and never did self care. And right now when I started prioritising self care, everything is falling apart.
Feeling so lost and feeling like a total failure in every field. I know many people feel same but it's just age pressure that I can't deal with, coz I should have things sorted and cleared by now. And I have no definite answer to give to myself, or parents or society. Even I don't know what I am planning for future.
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P.S. Someone informed that i was born on lagna sandhi. So attached chart in comments from actual birth time. Just 5 mins difference between 2. The one in post is 5 mins ahead, coz i related more with taurus asc instead of aries asc.