u/Heavy-Positive-5742

I ordered a vacuum cleaner from Temu for about $154 and wanted to return it because I wasn’t satisfied with it.

Normally Temu gives a prepaid label, but this time the ONLY option I got was “Send by yourself.” The app said:

- pay for shipping yourself

- upload the receipt

- shipping cost would later be reimbursed

- reimbursement would normally go to Temu credit balance

I didn’t want Temu credit balance, I wanted real money back to my card/payment method.

So I shipped the parcel myself through a shipping company and paid about $27 shipping. I uploaded all receipts/proof in the Temu app.

The problem started because the return address Temu gave me was apparently connected to a pickup point system. The shipping company even told me that if I used that same address, the parcel would always end up at a pickup point instead of being directly delivered to the warehouse/company.

Temu support previously told me they did NOT want the parcel delivered to a pickup point, but the address their own system provided apparently caused exactly that.

Nobody from Temu/the warehouse picked up the parcel from the pickup point, so it got automatically returned back to me.

Then I ALSO had to pay another approximately $10 return-to-sender fee.

So total shipping costs I paid became about $37 total.

I contacted Temu MANY times explaining:

- I followed all instructions correctly

- the problem came from the address/return setup

- I uploaded all receipts/proof

- I could not create a new return anymore because the old return stayed stuck “in progress” in the app

- I needed a new label or QR code

They kept sending generic replies about “warehouse inspection” even though the item was literally still with me because the failed return came back to me.

Then suddenly, WITHOUT the item being returned to the warehouse, Temu refunded the FULL item amount about $157 back to my original payment method.

After that:

- the app status changed to “Refunded”

- the return progress disappeared

- they closed the ticket

- they stopped talking about warehouse inspection

- they never sent a new return label or QR code

- they never clearly told me whether I should keep the vacuum cleaner or not

So now I’m confused.

The vacuum cleaner is still with me because I literally have no way to return it anymore.

At the same time, Temu support also previously told me they could reimburse the approximately $37 shipping costs to Pay Pal instead of Temu credit balance, but I still haven’t received that reimbursement yet. I already sent them another message about that.

So now I honestly don’t understand:

- why did they refund me before receiving the item?

- why did they close the ticket without telling me what to do with the vacuum cleaner?

- what should I do now, i can't send it, i dont have new adress, aslo they already refunded me and closed the ticket!

Has anyone experienced something similar?

I wanted to ask something honestly because I feel very different from most men nowadays and I’ve never really found many people who relate to this.

I’m a heterosexual man and I absolutely love women, but not really in a strongly sexual way. I don’t relate much to casual sex culture, hookups, or being obsessed with sex. I never understood how some people can look at women mostly sexually. For me, my attraction feels much more romantic, emotional, and aesthetic.

What attracts me the most is feminine beauty, elegance, grace, softness, dresses, beautiful hair, beautiful eyes, perfume, classy clothing, feminine behavior, and just the overall presence of a very feminine woman. The more feminine and elegant she is, the more deeply attracted I become emotionally and romantically.

I admire women a lot through beauty and presence. I can genuinely feel emotional just from how beautiful and feminine a woman looks. Face, body shape, dresses, eyes, hair, elegance, the way she carries herself — all of that affects me strongly. But it’s not really in a “casual sexual” way. It feels more romantic, emotional, idealistic, or symbolic.

Sex itself is something I never fully related to the same way other people seem to. To me it mostly feels connected to:

- love,

- bonding,

- family,

- connection,

- having children,

- intimacy,

- creating a family together,

I don’t really see sex as entertainment or something casual. I almost see it as something meaningful between two people rather than something exciting by itself.

I also noticed that I strongly dislike when women act masculine or dress in masculine ways. For example, I’m personally not attracted to women wearing suits, caps, acting like “one of the boys,” or behaving in very masculine ways. What attracts me deeply is femininity itself.

I tried reading articles and books about this but I didn’t find much. The only thing I found was that in older times some kings, nobles, poets, and historical figures seemed to admire women more romantically and aesthetically — beauty, elegance, grace, heirs, family, legacy, noble bloodlines, ideal wives, and building dynasties — rather than modern casual sex culture.

For example, some rulers seemed focused more on:

- finding the most beautiful or elegant wife,

- creating a strong family line,

- having sons/heirs,

- building a legacy,

- or having a queen they admired romantically and aesthetically.

Some historical figures I read about that partly reminded me of this were:

- Poets like Dante or Petrarch idealizing feminine beauty and elegance almost spiritually,

- Prince Albert and Queen Victoria having a very emotional and family-centered relationship,

- Henry VIII admiring portraits and feminine beauty when choosing wives, to get son heir

- Shah Jahan deeply loving Mumtaz Mahal and building the Taj Mahal for her,

- and old European “courtly love” traditions where men admired women through romance, devotion, beauty, elegance, and femininity rather than casual sex.

Obviously many historical people were flawed people too, but I related more to the romantic admiration of feminine beauty, family, legacy, and emotional attachment than to modern hookup culture.

Sometimes I honestly feel strange or isolated because modern culture seems extremely sexualized, and most men around me talk very differently about women than I do.

I don’t know if this is normal, uncommon, psychological, personality-related, low libido, or something else.

Does anyone else experience attraction like this and is there something wrong with me?

I’d genuinely appreciate honest answers because I’ve felt alone in this for a long time.