u/HeavyDetective8948

I’m from the IE, and I’m considering on buying a home out in Simi Valley. The housing prices and insane home inflations plus mortgage rates are comical atm so I understand.

Questions I have is what’s the average monthly water and power bill?
And how much is the fire insurance on a monthly and annual basis?

I’m trying to find what’s the average of these two factors so I can add it to my mortgage in how much I can truly afford a home. Thank you for your cooperation.

UPDATE: Home I’m considering buying is 4-5 bedroom with 2-3 baths, maybe pool or maybe not.

I turn 32 by the end of the year. No kids, or wife. Am I cooked?

The whole hypergamy talk, and dating mismatch between men and women got the whole community up in arms on social media with dating apps, and it’s even happening irl
with dating

I had bumble for a whole year, and Id say I’m pretty average guy like most guys. You know? Just a regular guy with average looks. Only had like 2 dates for the whole year and they all ended horribly.

Apparently Pew research came out with a poll that says

4/10 women get approached irl (numbers are increasing)
6/10 women aren’t looking for a traditional relationship (most like casual)
3/10 women will be single for a long time (numbers rising)

4-5/10 men have officially checked out of the dating scene.

What are your thoughts on this phenomenon and do you think dating apps will solve this issue? Or will this problem get worst as time goes on? These numbers are almost depressing to look at.

Guys relax, I’m not here to be a puritan or preach religion or anything that makes your blood boil. Anyways….

Is there any success stories of people who survived from addiction, ever have successful relationships in terms of marriage and kids?

I ask this because dating sucks right now, and it’s worst for us younger guys with a horrible past. I mean…being sober is cool and all, but I feel like this isn’t my true meaning of life. I’ve heard some success stories in the rooms but those people are rare and hard to find. The rooms I usually walk into in L.A are hit or miss, usually a lot court orders convicts surviving parole or girls coming off addiction and sex work which isn’t really an ideal place for people with 3 years of sobriety and work being done. I feel like the people you surround yourself with is a direct reflection of your serenity (in scripture).

Anyways…..if you’re married/and or have kids. Can you please share your experiences on how you managed addiction and having a successful relationship?

So my last post got removed. I get it. But I think people missed the point about it. My frustration with N.A meetings is mostly about people using the program to sleep around or fake “perform” sobriety/serenity. I see it all the time in most N.A meetings in L.A, people treat it like a social club but I get it…..you connect.

But my issue stems from “some” cohorts of people in my area not holding themselves accountable in these meetings. I can’t really go to other rooms in L.A because of transportation issues so I stick to the ones near my area.

People miss the point of actual serenity, it’s not only about to quit drugs and surrender yourself to the higher power, it’s also a promiscuity issue, and I’m tired of seeing other people just treating it like casual sex club and fake perform serenity online. I can’t call out people because other people actually enable this behavior of hookup culture because “they don’t want to hurt their feelings”, it’s toxic. Do people not realize emotional dysregulation is the root cause of addiction in the first place? If you guys have this same issue I experience, please let me know and share your thoughts and experiences.

Screen addiction is another problem. I think most people who get freshly sober become addicted to screen addiction And become schizos online which is jarring in contrast with normies who are stuck on their phones. I think screen addiction is a societal problem and it’s dangerous. If satellites ever go down, there will be mass hysteria and chaos everywhere. Just my thoughts about it.

Waddup, I’m at year 3 off from fent and surviving homelessness, I fixed my life 🙏🏾, but I to wanted to get this off my chest for a while now.

Walked into an NA meeting last week in L.A. Seats were full, but managed to find a seat in the middle. In the back, 2 girls giggling and on their phones. Some guys trying to flirt with them, no judgement though, honestly thought NA meetings were a place of seriousness and accountability not a dating site.

After the meeting, one of the girls approached me in the parking lot. She gave me her Instagram, honestly thought I made a friend here. Added her as a friend on Instagram. Shes got her sobriety date on her bio, with quotes and all. I thought something was off, she posts everyday about how great her life was and all, though I didn’t think much of it. She hits me up asking what I’m doing, told her I’m not doing much today and asked her out for some coffee. She says she just wanted casual hookups basically. I thought I myself, why are these NA meetings just filled with people trying to smash?

I’m sorry, every-time I go to these meetings, I feel like the sobriety they teach is too vague, not enough emphasizes with meaning and nobody has real structure. I mean it’s cool that people fresh off sobriety is going to the NA meetings, but for someone like me. This isn’t enough. It feels like casual place where people just meet and have sex.

This is hedonism, this is not real sober living. There is no true morals here, everyone is too spiritual. There is no real framework other than the higher power and a vague God. People do what ever they want when they’re not in the meetings.

I did some research and apparently NA was founded by Catholics/Christians. So the whole moral framework is based off Christianity which makes sense.

But why didn’t they emphasize on female and male modesty? They preach humility, but it doesn’t go through peoples head, everyone is wayyyyy to selfish. So this is pissing me off, and my gripe against NA.