u/Heavy_Screen2937

How often is this occurring for you? I seem to go weeks being fine and then I have a day where I can have over 7. Today I’ve had one on the hour almost every hour.

I’ve been to my doctor she think I’m having early stage seizures that might develop into something worse, I’m looking for any advice or maybe just someone who’s gone through the same thing, basically what happens-
I feel my stomach drop and my body feels not in the room, but I’m still aware of everything around me, I can voice what’s going on. My heart beats really fast,I feel nauseous and a strong feeling of Deja vu, like I’ve been exactly where I am doing the same thing as if it’s happened before. I also have images in my head, like old movie clips or it feels like maybe dreams I’ve had resurface and I’m not sure if it was a dream or real. My mouth fills up with saliva. When it’s really bad my hearing get muffled. This only lasts a minute or two. Right after my teeth chatter and I’m a little shaky, then I just feel confused and nauseous for sometime a couple hours after. I go weeks in between these episodes and sometime I have a day where is can happen over and over. When I don’t get to sleep they seem to happen more. I’ve had an mri that came back good and a heart monitor, I have an eeg next week. I’m just looking for answers thank you for reading.

He always says it’s fine and he wants me to call if I need to, but I feel horrible for it. Every couple weeks I feel like my whole world short circuits and I can’t do it anymore so I call him and just cry sometimes yell. My husband works long hours. Usually leaves before the kids wake up, and sometimes a lot lately doesn’t get home until they are already in bed- we have two kids 4 and 1. I’m tired I’m overwhelmed I constantly feel like a bad mom. I’m just so freaking sad. And touched out. And alone. And then I feel horrible for calling him because he’s working and now he’s probably stressed worrying about me.

I guess I just need to rant to a place that will hopefully be honest if I’m a bad mom because people in my life tell me I’m not but idk. I yell a lot and I hate myself for it, usually it’s when I’m over stimulated - I have an almost 5 year old and almost 2 year old. I’m also a sahm, and have been for almost a year now after my oldest started school. I always apologize after and explain calmly why I was yelling, but then I just think about it and how awful I am that I yelled usually over something that yes frustrating isn’t that big of deal in the grand scheme. I feel like I’m going to harm my kids and just wish I could stop yelling.

Today I yelled because we went to the store and when I went to get the 2 year old out of his car seat I noticed he had lumped his entire cup all over himself and the car seat. I didn’t have the diaper bag with me as this should have been a quick trip to get things we needed for the day, so I had to turn around and go back home because he was soaked. I called my husband because he would be going to a store later and could get what I needed and I just got so upset. I started crying and was yelling about how frustrated I was- one of the main things I went to get were tomato cages, because I started a garden but have had no time to take care of it and when I do with the kids they either wander away from me, or have ripped up the plants. After I hung up with him though I kept yelling. I apologized after to my four year old for being so loud and mean, I told her she didn’t do anything wrong at all I was just so upset in that moment. And she told me she got frustrated too sometimes and we hugged. My mom made me feel guilt for everything and I’m so scared I’m gonna do that to her. I just feel like they would be better without me and my anger.