u/HockeyDoughnut

Just got the dreaded BMS_a079 after doing a battery health test on my 2021 M3P. I know 2021 models see this more than other years. Located in Canada.

To confirm, this will require a full high voltage battery replacement, right? Only 69K km on it, so it should be covered under warranty.

If so, a few questions:

• Will this be a new or refurbished battery? Any point pressing for a new one if refurb?
• Will it be a different battery type than what I currently have? Better or worse overall?
• Do people who get a replacement because of this tend to see fewer failures long term, or am I potentially in the same boat?
• Is it true they upgrade the suspension along with it, due to a heavier battery pack?

Any insight appreciated while I wait for my appointment. Thanks!

My daughter was born 3 weeks ago and I guess I'm looking for some honesty from other dads, because I can't really find it anywhere around me right now.

Everyone in our family is completely lovey-eyed over her, and I'm over here just trying to keep a screaming bag of potatoes alive. I love my wife more than anything, I'd do anything for our dog, and I'm genuinely busting my ass every day — the house, the dog, supporting her recovery, being present — but when it comes to my daughter? I don't feel that overwhelming love yet. Moments of it, sure. But the deep, soul-level "oh my god I love this thing so much" feeling? It's mostly not there, and that honestly breaks my heart.

The part that's really getting to me: the crying. When she goes fully inconsolable — screaming, whole body flailing, nothing works — it genuinely makes my skin crawl. Like, a visceral, overwhelming reaction that I hate having. I don't want to feel that way. But I do, and pretending otherwise feels pointless. My wife comforts her so well. I can comfort her maybe 20% of the time, but when it doesn't work, it drives me up the wall.

I've also been having waves of "why did we do this" and "did we make a mistake." I was always on the fence about having kids — never strongly one way or the other — and I think part of me interpreted that as meaning I'd be happy either way. Right now though? These newborn weeks are genuinely hard to love, and admitting that feels awful.

I know I have a big heart. I know I'm showing up. I know our dog was also hard at first and now I can't imagine life without him. I'm trying to hold onto that.

But I could really use some honesty from dads who've been here. Did the connection come later for you? How did you get out of your own head when the crying pushed you over the edge? And how do you stop grieving the old life long enough to actually settle into this one?

Not looking to be talked down to, just looking for real.3 weeks in and I'm not feeling what I expected. Anyone else?

My daughter was born 3 weeks ago and I guess I'm looking for some honesty from other dads, because I can't really find it anywhere around me right now.

Everyone in our family is completely lovey-eyed over her, and I'm over here just trying to keep a screaming bag of potatoes alive. I love my wife more than anything, I'd do anything for our dog, and I'm genuinely busting my ass every day — the house, the dog, supporting her recovery, being present — but when it comes to my daughter? I don't feel that overwhelming love yet. Moments of it, sure. But the deep, soul-level "oh my god I love this thing so much" feeling? It's mostly not there, and that honestly breaks my heart.

The part that's really getting to me: the crying. When she goes fully inconsolable — screaming, whole body flailing, nothing works — it genuinely makes my skin crawl. Like, a visceral, overwhelming reaction that I hate having. I don't want to feel that way. But I do, and pretending otherwise feels pointless. My wife comforts her so well. I can comfort her maybe 20% of the time, but when it doesn't work, it drives me up the wall.

I've also been having waves of "why did we do this" and "did we make a mistake." I was always on the fence about having kids — never strongly one way or the other — and I think part of me interpreted that as meaning I'd be happy either way. Right now though? These newborn weeks are genuinely hard to love, and admitting that feels awful.

I know I have a big heart. I know I'm showing up. I know our dog was also hard at first and now I can't imagine life without him. I'm trying to hold onto that.

But I could really use some honesty from dads who've been here. Did the connection come later for you? How did you get out of your own head when the crying pushed you over the edge? And how do you stop grieving the old life long enough to actually settle into this one?

Not looking to be talked down to, just looking for real.

First-time parents with a 15-day-old. Nights and days are a bit reversed, but that's not the main issue.

The main issue: he falls asleep at the breast within minutes. A 45-minute session might only have 15 minutes of actual sucking. When my wife unlatches him he purple cries, goes right back to calm on the boob — so it's clearly comfort nursing. But we don't think he's actually eating enough, so he's up hungry 30 minutes later and the cycle repeats from 3AM to 7AM. She gets no real break.

When I give him a bottle on my shift (~1AM), he takes a full 60-70ml and sleeps 2-3 hours no problem. We want to keep breastfeeding though — bottles are just a sleep-shift tool.

We're were previously on a triple-feed protocol with a lactation consultant until he got back to birth weight (which he did), and we've tried everything to keep him awake at the breast: diaper changes, tickling, stripping him down, wet cloth. He still konks out.

How do you break the comfort-nurse-then-wake-hungry loop without abandoning breastfeeding? Any techniques that actually worked for you? We're exhausted and just want to know there's a light at the end of this. 💙

We live in Tantallon and we’re finding a tick on our dog every single day. We don’t let her near the woods. An hour ago she picked one up just from sniffing a patch of roadside grass for two seconds. I saw it right away and flicked it off, it was that large.

She’s on NexGard Spectra so any tick that bites her dies, and we do checks after every walk — but they’re tiny enough to miss, and the idea of one making it inside onto the couch or bed gives me anxiety.

She deserves to sniff things and go on trails. Just looking for anything practical we might be missing.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ It's driving me crazy.