![[astro-seek] I'm being thrown around by the life in very different directions, not knowing what will be best considering my unique path](https://preview.redd.it/fvvu9bju3k2h1.png?width=140&height=140&crop=1:1,smart&auto=webp&s=0eab064431bf6835a069bf0297f81036372eedff)
[astro-seek] I'm being thrown around by the life in very different directions, not knowing what will be best considering my unique path
I'm feeling deeply lost in a way that I haven't been in a long time. I'm 30 yo and although I don't feel that my career has stagnated, it just doesn't feel right. I work in the financial sector being thankful for the stability and just an okay salary, but every cell of my body screams that it's not right. I like my analytical work but since being a kid I was drown to the creative side of things. I usually don't have time or energy to pursue arts in my free time and I'm afraid of throwing out the current stability of my life just to pursue something that may just not be right for me.
At the same time in which I was thinking about a drastic change of my career path, I also went from being a born sceptic, someone who wants empirical knowledge, with trust in the scientific method and no respect for the metaphysical, to someone who for the last two years is constantly looking for the new information on the occult. I'm listening and reading anything I can, I pursue meditation techniques, I try different ceremonies and currently I want to test myself in the ''psychic'' side of things, working with energy and Tarot. This is a profound change for me that has shaken my worldview, my interests, my free time and even my future plans. Somehow I feel that pursuing the occult knowledge may be the catalyst for feeling that my current life path is wrong. I just don't know that much about astrology to find our if there is something weird in my chart, especially something showing this great life changes.
I want to know this because this is not the first time something like this is happening. I have once went through a drastic process of re-evaluation of everything. In a short period of time, I've distanced myself from almost any of my previous ideas and thoughts, I've accepted my deeply hidden sexual preferences quite late in life and tried to change almost anything about my personality, which I really didn't like at that point.
This is a second time I feel that everything I've done to this point is no longer serving me, that it's not right and it doesn't represent my as a person. I also struggle with an addiction and I have always had some underlying health problems, mostly stomach-based, that weren't properly diagnosed. And for some reason I feel that not being on the right path may make all those problems even bigger because I don't have energy or motivation to properly take care of myself and change some of my routines. I've been feeling tired for around three years now, deeply physically and psychology tired and the only thing that makes me feel alive, besides of my relationship, is the occult.
I would like to know anything that feels weird about my chart because my current life and those last three decades definitely felt weird at many points...
