u/Holiday-Way-9739

I’m 30F, gave birth to my little boy a few days ago. My partner, also 30, left me for a younger work colleague at 7.5 months pregnant. I was completely blindsided, I thought we had a happy relationship.

I am absolutely terrified of being a single mum. I don’t know how I’m going to get through grieving the loss of my relationship and caring for this baby. I have no support network, ie no family or friends to lean on and my ex has pretty much said he wants nothing to do with me. I just cry and cry all the time and I’m scared I’m going to start resenting my baby because he is the spitting image of my ex.

Cost of living in the UK is through the roof, I don’t know how I’m going to afford to live on just my salary, let alone pay for everything my little boy will need and things like childcare. I don’t know how I’m going to cope on my own or how I’ll ever find a man who is interested in a single mum. I feel like I’m drowning and I’ve already failed my baby and he’s only just been born.

Has anyone else been in a similar situation and how did you cope? Any advice or even just encouragement is welcome.

I was signed off of work for 4 weeks, but it feels really quite an excessive amount of time for the reason and I just don’t want to be off that long.

It was given to me by a hospital, can I call my GP and ask for it to be changed to 2 weeks? Or could I call after 2 weeks and ask it be changed to phased return?

In England, 30 years of age. Pregnancy was result of a one night stand and discovered after the legal termination limit. I had been taking contraceptives the whole time and put that down to the absent period, I barely had a bump at all and I still fit in all my clothes, it just looked like I’d put on a little bit of weight.

I never told any family I was pregnant, I don’t really have any truly close friends. I have no contact with the father. I am not in the position to care for baby financially or mentally at this point in my life or provide stability. It was completely unplanned and I would have terminated had I been able to.

I relinquished baby at birth, he is in temporary foster care and I have a social worker.

I absolutely do not want my baby to remain in my family under any circumstance. My mum will not admit it, but she has an alcohol problem, she does not know her limit. I have spent a lot of my life looking after her in drunken states, including having to have her carried into the house off the pavement and leaving her passed out on the hallway floor. I do not want my son to go through what I have had to. My parents are 70 or approaching, if anything happened to them childcare would fall back to me. I am not close with the rest of my wider family. I fear if my parents found out I hid this pregnancy, it would irreparably damage my relationship with them and my mum would turn suicidal.

Despite this, feel like the social worker is really pushing baby remains in the family. Every conversation, she almost implies she will be asking the court to force my family gets involved. She keeps asking why I hid the pregnancy and trying to push mum and baby homes on me despite how adamant I am. I’m scared if the courts get involved and they come and do a check on my family, they will think everything is fine as my mums drunk episodes are limited to the evening and she lives in denial.

What do I do in this situation? I feel increasingly uncomfortable and like I am trying to be caught out. Putting my son up for adoption is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, it’s breaking my heart and I love him so much. I really just want him to go to a home that loves him and where he can be taken care of properly. I would like to ask for an open adoption so I can keep some contact with him, but I’m scared even suggesting this will fuel her pushing for court to step in.

I got pregnant from a one night stand despite being on contraception. I didn’t realise I was pregnant until past the legal limit for termination. I thought I wasn’t having a period because of the contraception as I was still taking it, and that I had just put on a little weight because of heartbreak. I was just desperate to do anything to get over betrayal, resorting to behaviour so unlike me.

I hid my pregnancy from everyone I know out of shame and fear of judgement on the circumstances, including my family. I decided I would put my baby up for adoption.

I gave birth to him a few days ago and I feel absolutely awful. He is the most beautiful little boy I have ever seen, I have never felt love like this before. I cuddled with him for hours before he went into emergency foster care. He is all I have thought about for every second since and I can’t stop looking at his photos and just sobbing and sobbing and sobbing.

I want to keep him so badly, the thought of never seeing him again makes me sick to my stomach but because I hid the pregnancy, I will lose my entire family if they find out. They will never, ever forgive me for hiding it from them and I will be cut off. I can’t lose them. I feel so, so stupid for lying to them but I was just so terrified.

The guilt is absolutely crushing me. I can’t believe I have fucked my life and my sons life up like this. I don’t know what to do.

I gave birth to my son in the early hours of yesterday morning. He’s beautiful, an absolute cutie and I can’t believed I birthed something so precious. I spent a couple of hours holding him and I fell in love with him instantly. Leaving him at the hospital has completely broken my heart and I don’t think I’ll ever get over this, I wish I could keep him but unfortunately I’m in a position where I have no choice but to adopt him out.

If I am able to, I want to leave him with something so that he grows up knowing how much I love him. So my question is, what’s one thing you wish you had from birth mum? What would have meant the most to you growing up, or being able to tell your child if they know they were adopted?