u/Hornyandsluttyy

I've heard everything from "they don't hurt at all" to "they were the worst piercings of my life, and I had to take them out." I've had a couple of piercings before, so I'm not too worried about the initial pain. I'm more concerned about the healing time and how painful the recovery is.

I've had my tongue pierced, and it was manageable. I've also had my cartilage pierced, and honestly, that was the worst one for me pain-wise.

Is the pain really that bad? I know most people get both done at the same time, but I can't afford the overpriced studio jewelry for two piercings right now, so I'll probably get them a couple of weeks apart.

How long did it take for yours to stop hurting and being painful? Was the healing process really that bad? And is it comparable to tongue or cartilage. If not less painful/ annoying or more?

I've heard everything from "they don't hurt at all" to "they were the worst piercings of my life, and I had to take them out." I've had a couple of piercings before, so I'm not too worried about the initial pain. I'm more concerned about the healing time and how painful the recovery is.

I've had my tongue pierced, and it was manageable. I've also had my cartilage pierced, and honestly, that was the worst one for me pain-wise.

Is the pain really that bad? I know most people get both done at the same time, but I can't afford the overpriced studio jewelry for two piercings right now, so I'll probably get them a couple of weeks apart.

How long did it take for yours to stop hurting and being painful? Was the healing process really that bad?

There's this guy that I made it very obvious I was interested in. I flirted pretty hard, and it turns out he's just not into me. I was ready to accept that and move on, figuring I simply wasn't his type.

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But after a night out, I saw him dancing with and making out with people who were either twinks or pretty average-looking. Meanwhile, I'm somewhere between chubby and average. I've been working out more, have some muscle, and while I'm not nearly as muscular as he is, I'm not exactly small either. I have a decent amount of muscle on my chest, pretty broad shoulders, and a stockier build. The thing is, he's a pretty beefy guy himself, and I've seen his profiles on the apps where he says he's into bears.

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A friend of mine, who also happens to be his friend, told me that I made it "too obvious" that I was interested and that some people like a sense of mystery. I honestly can't wrap my head around that. Why is being direct such a bad thing? I'm not even trying to date him. Sure, maybe if things developed over time, but relationships are complicated, and the average person isn't exactly getting the keys to my heart overnight.

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Another theory I had is that maybe he's genuinely a nice person. When he turned me down, he did it in the kindest way possible. Maybe because he values me as a person, he didn't want to hurt my feelings. He also follows me on Instagram and has probably seen some of my more cutesy, yearning-for-a-relationship posts from time to time.

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I'm mostly looking for opinions and a respectful discussion. What is this whole "you made it too obvious, therefore I'm not interested" thing? Is that actually a real factor for some people? Or is it more likely that he's simply not attracted to me? Could it be that he's more muscular and I'm just too average for what he wants?

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Please keep the comments respectful, constructive, and in good faith. I'm genuinely trying to understand different perspectives here, not attack anyone or start drama. If the comments become cold, passive-aggressive, or mean-spirited, I'll delete the post.

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Curious to hear people's thoughts. UNLESS ANYBODY HAS REVOLUTIONARY ADVICE THAT'S NOT TO THE EFFECT OF GET OVER IT HE GAVE YOU AN ANSWER I AM NOT INTERESTED IN HEARING ADVICE ON THE SITUATION OF WHAT I DO WITH HIM.

I’m not a super confident person, but I have enough, I think. However, I’m someone who is realistic about who might be into me sexually, so I think I come off as less cautious. Unfortunately, I do like muscle men a lot, or even jock-adjacent men. I’m not trying to bark up the wrong tree. I understand why confidence is attractive, but why is a lack of it a dealbreaker? And how do I shoot my shot without being weird? Is it an issue for submissive guys, and am I somehow unknowingly going for them?

I’m not a super confident person, but I have enough, I think. However, I’m someone who is realistic about who might be into me sexually, so I think I come off as less cautious. Unfortunately, I do like muscle men a lot, or even jock-adjacent men. I’m not trying to bark up the wrong tree. I understand why confidence is attractive, but why is a lack of it a dealbreaker? And how do I shoot my shot without being weird? Is it an issue for submissive guys, and am I somehow unknowingly going for them? And how do I improve how I come off to people that may already think that I'm not confident?