u/HumungusDude

It was on Netflix

A guy has a power, where he involuntarily rewinds back in time when a tragedy happens near him, so that he can try to stop it.

One day, he gets sent back to when he was a kid, and local kids went missing, in something like the 80's or 90's.

The show follows him trying to solve the missing cases as a kid, fining out it was a serial killer situation, and then being drowned in a frozen lake in the car of the serial killer who he had unwittingly befriended.

takes place in winter, in some isolated Japanese suburb (?)

i just remembered it and i wonder if it was any good so i kind of want to re-see it

I am diagnosed OSDD-1b

I won't even name what it is, that's how much it disgusts most of me's, hands tremble at just trying to type out the name.
(Edit: gee folks, i ain't no criminal, its disgusting but there ain't no law against it)

But is so mentally tiering, when we all remember all of it (since 1b is continuous consciousness), every time that disgusting fucker gets his way.

I hate it so much, we all do. I try to suppress him. But every time he does resurface its just more and more traumatizing.

At times I just shiver in repulse when i remember what he had done, what he made us see, and what he has done when seeing it.

I hate it, its disgusting, i don't want him to like it.

Suppression of any alter is tiering as is already, and its only worse when they traumatize ya every time they surface.

I want him gone so bad

what do i do

how can i stop him

i hate it here

I know its under nonbinary, but is it
Nonbinary(Apagender) or Nanbinary(Agender(Apagender))?

cause i can see argument for both possibilities, and google isn't telling me a direct answer

Edit: Consensus appears to be Nonbinary(Apagender)

^((Disclosure: I am woefully uneducated on the subject, given my region being quite phobic and strongly religious. So i will most probably make mistakes here)**)

I am a guy*, for a while i knew i am not trans, i have done all the mental evaluations, and it was a pretty clear "I have no desire to be a woman".

But only recently have i asked, "Do i have desire to be a man?"

I am not certain on the answer yet, I don't think i should declare an answer for at least a few months to rule out false positives.
But i do want to know what are the options

So far, i have determined that my only attachments to malehood is 1. Having a penis, and 2. going by the "standard" he/him

Both are very flimsy and can easily be dismissed. But i don't think "nonbinary" is a proper term for this either

As far as I'm aware, Nonbinary would refer to someone actively wishing to be separated from the binary, actively not being either.

While when i consider myself, it would be less an active wish for separation, and more just not realy giving a shit.
I (seem to) don't hold any attachment to maleness, but neither do i have any active desire to differ from it.

best i could describe it would be, "Gender Ignorance", which im certain isn't a real term.

I don't really feel "a man", but neither do i care to not be a man.
Yeah, i enjoy the occasional cranking of the hog, but im certain that penis-havers of all types do regardless of maleness

I don't really care what pronouns are used, as long as its contextually obvious its me anything goes

But then again, on a slider man-woman, i am def more on the man side.
But than again again, that's probably just because of the physical side of things

TL;DR
I don't feel myself a man, but i feel no need to explicitly differentiate myself from one
best precise i could name it would be "a naturally-male-presenting person, ignorant of their gender, not holding attachment to maleness, but also not caring to actively differentiate"

Any idea what that could be called in more concise proper terms?
^((my autistic obsession with Taxonomical precision, makes me want a precise name for it, and not just a broadly apicable "nonbinary"))

When loading new assets (items, locations, models, updating friendship status) it often even crashes.
Only now i considered RAM as a culprit
This is just the 60s span when i was already turning off the emulator
but given how just passively existing without interactions, its at 80%, and taking up almost 40% by itself, i would not be surprised to find out that when loading stuff, that spikes and hits the roof

I'm no PC buff, i don't quite know how big a number is bad, but almost 7GB of ram, being taken up by just passive emulation, seems high.
(compared it to a browser, running 10 tabs and a video, and that was about 3GB, so i think its high)

https://preview.redd.it/hhjuaqdn5eyg1.png?width=663&format=png&auto=webp&s=32fb9f623be57a0ac092870c78eada550af9b060

is there a way to remedy that?? is there a way to reduce the ram intensity of Ryujinx emulation?