Advice/critique on OCS packet Motivational Statement
Will someone please review my motivational statement? I'm applying for a pilot slot and I've heard that should not be the focus of the statement, but I wanted to make sure it at least got mentioned. Any advice and critique is greatly appreciated! (idk why reddit didn't tab any of the paragraphs)
Motivational Statement:
Ever since I was young, I have looked up at the skies and the stars and wanted to be part of something bigger. Neither of my parents was a member of the military; in fact, I was a near-complete stranger to the military and everything about it. Despite that, my parents have always inspired me to become a better person, and their dedication to integrity, respect, and accountability has left a lasting impact on me throughout my life. I did not always know my passion for naval aviation; I wandered for a few years in search of my calling, trying out different things in hopes that something would stick. I spent time working on becoming a better person every day, being there for friends, and guiding them through tough times. I knew I wanted to make the world a better place through leadership, but I didn’t know where. Once I discovered naval aviation, I knew where my heart lay.
I want to commission in the US Navy for many reasons. The sense of belonging and closeness from fighting alongside others in even the harshest conditions, the constant challenges that always provide something to strive for, and the bigger purpose of protecting our country and its people, are among the infinitely many reasons why becoming a part of the US Navy is something I am striving so much for.
When I moved to Japan, I discovered the challenges of navigating a completely foreign environment. I learned that you need to be quick on your feet, adaptable, and willing to put in the hard work necessary to get what you want. Learning how to navigate a new culture really humbled me and changed my way of thinking; I learned a lot about honor and about treating people with the respect they deserve. I believe I can give back to the Navy with this knowledge and experience. I wish to lead and inspire honesty and integrity in my fellow sailors and officers, if you will accept me. Thank you for your consideration.