Extort me for 10¢
PLEASE READ THE POST - THIS IS NOT ABOUT GFY
Greetings and salutations clankers Robots!
I have been blackmailed convinced into purchasing a tank case for my upcoming Pixel 11 Pro XL, alongside the napalm button pack (I only want the red buttons, but anyway...). This brings my total to $64.90... just a measley 10¢ away from free shipping. I have to go the route of adding a $1 extortion donation to my cart, but the site adds that to a SEPARATE cart (very inconvenient). However, you do happen to sell some leather balm for $4.95... which happens to be a whole $2 cheaper than the $6.95 you'd otherwise charge me for shipping. Now, I am in no need of your leather balm, as my phone is strictly leatherless. But I shall purchase it out of spite if it means saving my precious $2, mark my words!!!
Before I commit this monstrosity... I have an offer for you. Give me a coupon. Not a standard coupon... A surcharge coupon. Give me a coupon that ADDS 10¢ to my bill. Call it extortion. Blackmail. PAC money. Call it whatever you want. Give me this coupon, pay for my shipping, and I'll leave you to do whatever it is robots do with excess leather balm.
You have till tonight at 10pm EST.