I read Mother Night and Slaughter house 5 a while ago and absolutely loved them and a bunch of people told me Cats Cradle is his best so here we are. I really don’t like this cover but the prettier one was a lot more expensive. So it goes. From what I’ve heard this seems like it’ll be pretty good too, better be worth it because I’m reading this instead of revising for my test tomorrow 😓
I had my first day of school today and it was just horrible, nothing big even happened but it was so draining and i relapsed after being clean for two months which was a big deal to me and i just feel hopeless about the whole thing. I felt pretty shit during summer to but at least then i got to sleep in and stuff. I just feel so down and cant see the worth in anything, sometimes talking about it helps but i dont have anyone. Ive talked to a couple teachers before like last year but i dont want to anymore because i just feel like a bother and i dont think they even really care. I dont think i have it in me to do another full year of school, just wondering if any adults who felt like this in high school have advice or something to make it easier to get up in the morning and do stuff.
This is kind of a weird question lol but I was just wondering if anyone had advice. I often have trouble falling asleep, especially during summer when my sleep schedule is different/messed up but I always find that when I get ready for bed but don’t fall asleep within an hour or two, I just get really upset. It happens out of nowhere and suddenly I’m anxious and overwhelmed and it makes it really hard to fall asleep after. I’ve tried distracting myself by reading or watching a show/movie, but nothing really seems to work. Lol i just want to go to sleep😓
As results day approaches, I am just getting more and more of this overwhelming feeling that I’ve definitely messed up something and it feels so different to the regular anxiety/worry I usually get that I’m genuinely starting to believe it and atp god knows what’s happened with my results lol. I honestly really don’t want to have a conversation with my teachers about what to do now and how to change my original plan ughhh i hate exams soo much
I feel like this is so silly but I’m really panicking and anxious and i thought someone might have some helpful advice. I have a dentist appointment in 5 days for a braces consultation to face my snaggle teeth but I’m really scared of someone properly examining my mouth due to the state of my teeth. I don’t really even know how bad they are but i think im scared for someone to properly tell me how/if theyre messed up. My parents never really told me a lot about dental hygiene, they naturally have pretty perfect white straight teeth but mine have always been different and I’ve only been to the dentist once a few years ago. I started flossing properly a week or two ago but I don’t think I’m doing it right because I dont see a lot of plaque on the floss after, my gums dont bleed but they hurt for a bit after. I also feel like my lower gums are very eroded and I feel like I may have periodontal disease or something (though that might just be me being anxious.)
I also just don’t want someone looking into my mouth so closely because I feel like no matter how much I brush, floss, tongue scrape, theres always this horrible smell in my mouth, no ones said anything to me irl but most people arent that physically close to me. I’m just so scared of the dentist telling me my teeth are really messed up and stuff like that. Also because I havent been to the dentist a lot in my life so its naturally a scary environment.
Former year 11 here and if all goes well on results day (fingers crossed) I’ll be taking Eng lit, History, and psych for a level, along with a EPQ. Every teacher has made me so scared by talking about how hard a levels are and I just cant seem to put how big the jump could be into perspective and so if anyone could give a realist explanation and talk about some key areas that are a lot harder than gcse, it would be much appreciated!!
Not doing as well as I hoped but I’m enjoying it! I’ve liked if not loved most of these books here. East Of Eden, Point Counter Point, The fire next time, Jurassic park, Fahrenheit 451, Handmaids tale, are probably the ones I enjoyed the most! I just started reading Confederacy of Dunces but I might ditch it for a while as its a bit boring, I’ll likely start reading Love (Toni Morrison) and Cleopatra and Frankenstein! Trying to read as much as possible in July-Aug before I go back to school. :)
everyone says so but im beginning to doubt it. Not going to my friends birthday because there will be too many people and too many pictures and i don’t want to go through that. So upset, I will never be treated like a regular human being nor will i ever find someone who genuinely finds both my looks and personality attractive but i guess it doesn’t really matter because that was out of the picture for me anyways. Dont want school to start again because thats when its the worst
I was reading his diaries a while ago and I came across an excerpt where hes talking about his insomnia and lack of sleep, which he does a lot tbf, but in this specific one he wrote “sleep has rejected me” and that one really stuck with me because of the way he phrased it, it really shows you how his inner psyche operated and how he felt more like a passive subject in his life. Regardless, its been on my mind and now Im experiencing nights where I cannot sleep and spontaneously wake up without being able to fall back asleep and I cant help but think that now sleep is rejecting me too lol. My mom told me to stop reading so much kafka 🙁
This might be a bit long so sorry in advance. Im 16 and in highschool and ive never been socially gifted or popular, I have always struggled with being made fun of but lately its really weighing on me even tho its summer. Ive had so many instances when my friends and i will be in a conversation usually with a group of guys and they will refuse to even make eye contact with me, i’ll chime in with something to say and everyone even my friends will ignore me and go on, they’ll ask everyone in the group their opinion on something and then skip me. I dont know why this happens so regularly, either because im not as pretty as my friends or even the average girl or because im awkward but its probably a case of both.
Stuff like this happens all the time with so many different people, even my friends all have a group chat without me, they hangout without me all the time and when i brought it up they said they never asked because i said i didn’t like going out one time, even though after that i asked them myself to go out but they all said no, i just find out from their Instagram stories later that they were together. Ive been in similar friendship groups before where im not treated the best (though my current group is better) and i figure that im the common denominator in these situations so it must be me but i just don’t know what im doing to be so off putting and i wish someone would tell me.
Since im young, people just tell me to wait and it’ll get better once I go to university but my plan for university is to not talk to anyone or make friends because i don’t expect people my age to randomly get nicer over a few years. I wish I wasn’t human in the sense that I like/need socializing with friends to feel good. I wish i didn’t have a desire for any sort of close human relationship.
I don’t even really wanna give out details, it was just messed up and went on for about a year and then it was over. He wasn’t even that bad aside from the obvious stuff, just wish he had said goodbye properly. Watching community 24/7 because it makes me laugh and i feel like annie. Dont dm me if youre a creepy guy, i wont respond.
About 10 so far which isn’t the worst. Been wanting to do this for sooo long but cds are very expensive where i am, plus my parents dont really fw with music so i have to buy and hide these. I don’t have a cd player yet but hopefully i’ll have enough money saved up to get one in August!! I want to finish my Arctic monkeys collection, especially getting Suck It and See, its my all time favorite album but cant find it :(
Submarine-Alex Turner, Favorite Worst nightmare, AM, Humbug-Arctic Monkeys, Rise and Fall of a midwest Princess-Chappel Roan, OK computer-Radiohead, Short and sweet (Deluxe)- Sabrina Carpenter, you seem pretty sad for a girl so in love, OR live from glastonbury, Guts-Olivia Rodrigo
He makes food videos but theres a resemblance for me, his personality/humor is also sort of witty and like Nates. I’m not saying he should play Nate in a live action or smth because ik that pisses ppl off, just wondering if anyone feels the same. His username is theplantslant
just feels impossible to even ask to talk, i just feel so bad bothering people and sometimes it feels pointless anyways. Yes i struggle with depression and certain thoughts/addiction but i get everything done and show up as a normal member of society everyday so what difference does it make how i feel
horrible day and i have no one to talk to. Still in my addiction even tho it doesn’t even make me feel good anymore but i cant stop. Was very worried about something and went to my mom and she told me it was the devil making me feel like this and i should trust god more. Nothing will ever help and i will feel like this forever
Just need some for scratches/cut on my hand, like near knuckles and stuff, not my arm. A teacher at school is honestly already kinda suspicious cause he saw some on my left arm and i js said i fell which means i cant use that reason again
summer is coming up which means every one gets to be comfortable in shorts and short sleeves except me, yay. All the girls post that one specific picture of like a bowl of fruit or whatever in their laps while on the beach and i’ll never be able to do that because of the scars on my thighs—ik thats a rlly stupid example but it still hurts. I can’t even tell anyone or talk about it because everyones at the age where sh is rlly weird and icky, and i dont feel like being judged like that. Cant tell an adult like a teacher because they’d have to tell my parents and im not in the mood for that. Everything sucks currently
I have recently made it a goal to go to the gym more often because i want to build some muscle, plus its probably helpful for my anxiety to do something good for myself and not stay cooped up at home but ironically my anxiety is making it pretty hard. My gym is pretty small so there are usually only one or two people there which is somehow worse than it being crowded. I just get so nervous that people are judging my form and my complete lack of knowledge when it comes to anything fitness related, it’s mostly that, not even that im worried about them judging my body cause im at a normal weight regardless. Im wondering if anyone has any advice? I really hate when my anxiety seeps into things that would actually be helpful
Might be a bit long so sorry in advance. There was a bunch of changes and things happening with my exams which were already stressing me out but they thankfully came to an end on Wednesday, with my last math exam but the paper they gave us was not anything similar to any of the revision guides and they sort of lied to us so then they scheduled a re-sit for tomorrow which I’m sure will also go terribly. Im just so unbelievably tired ad yes i finish it all tomorrow but for what? To wallow in bed for two weeks and fall deeper into addiction until im back at school and reminded that i have no one to talk to and generally none of this matters. The only thing that makes me feel better is standing by my balcony and just staring at the drop, i wont do anything but it feels a lot bettet
Especially during exam season, might’ve failed my psychology test today…the irony