u/IhavemyCat

On 90 Day Diaries, we see an update from Sam and Citra. He says, "Since Aeris was born, everything's been amazing"... then contradicts himself and soon says, "However, things are not so good." And that is hard to hear because their marriage and family are so new and so young. He admits he "put himself in the wrong crowd and put himself in a bad situation and relapsed," And you have to think they have only been married 2 years. What has to have happened where he feels he has to hang out with the wrong people and do drugs when he has this beautiful family at home, this soon or at all? It's not like they have been married for years and things have been grinding on him, and he needs an escape. But yet, I know addiction is rough, because I have been there. ( and I'm not there anymore, thank goodness)

I hope for their sake that he is not trying to white-knuckle through it alone and that he has resources. He should be going to meetings and counseling on a continuous, ongoing basis throughout his life. It seems like he has made up with Citra and his father-in-law, who seems really supportive. But I side-eye Sam's "plan" to prove his seriousness that he won't mess up again. To become a cop? I think this is something he can throw out there as a band-aid for now, to calm the storm, to win everyone back and believe him in the moment. To appease everyone because it sounds good. But does Sam really want to become a cop? Do you think he can do it? At the end of the segment, he really looked like he was struggling, and I couldn't tell whether I believed his words. Honestly, he should tell his family, his focus is his sobriety by going to meetings and counseling, and maybe even seeing a Doctor to see if he suffers from anything where he needs medication. Alot of people who suffer from addiction have undiagnosed mental health issues, and once that is resolved, sobriety is so much easier. He deserves for things to be as easy as possible for him. I hate to see him struggle.

I hope they can make it.

We all know how everyone feels about Kara and all her characteristics, and Guillermo is a saint. But I'm giving her a break today, and I'm saying that Guillermo's behavior is bugging me and has been bugging me for a while. When they were at the group therapy, and she was giving her reasons why things were a problem for her in the relationship, G just ran over her and dismissed her issues and got right down to what his main issues are. I get it that's probably the biggest bulk of what broke them up, but damn-what she was explaining was probably the beginnings of her starting her behaviors. I don't like the way he dismissed her. It was all about what he thought. He can't conceive that she has issues in the marriage; in his head, it's all about him and why he left, who cares about her feelings or perceived issues.

She was right- there were issues before. Like when he wanted to be a pilot, and it was 60k for school, and they didn't have the money, and they really needed insurance for Nico. So she wanted him to get a job with insurance for now and start working and saving a chunk of that 60k for school before committing. I saw nothing wrong with that. And I don't think he wanted to do that. Her dream of being a singer was just more feasible, and that's where the problems came. Plus, he had businesses before. He'd start businesses, Kara would help him, and he would later quit. So how did she know he was serious about being a pilot? Working for part of the 60k they didn't have for school would be a good start.

Then the way he responds to Kara at the retreat. She will talk to him normally, and his tone is condescending back, "mmhh hmmm," "uhhh huh," and it's like, get over yourself, dude. She knows you're mad at her. Just talk to her like a grown-up. He wants to punish her as much as possible. Then, they BOTH revealed they slept with other people during their separation. The first thing G did in the room was confront her about this man she slept with, as if he didn't admit to doing it himself. And now it's an issue of who did it when and who did it first. And I kinda agree with her that he wants to make her the villain, even though she is doing a great job on her own. I have no idea if Kara really kissed someone, but maybe G is pushing the narrative so hard to make her the ultra villian in everyone's eyes, so it makes him less accountable as a less-than-stellar husband. Because we forget in the beginning, she was doing a lot with work, etc, and G was young and not doing much as a husband, but he was always a great father.

Then the whole "are you proud to call her the mother of your child" ... No.

This man is acting like she is drugged up hooker that never looked after his child. He is so damn judgmental of her. And no matter what she does, he won't give 1 ounce of grace at all. Even if she hurt you as a wife, she is not a bad mother. And he has this whole buttoned-up version of himself he is laying on thick, too to make the contrast wih Kara ever so clear. He doesn't drink anymore, or so it seems, he's prim and proper, crosses his legs. Come on.

Kara is a mess and did wrong, but G is a little too self-righteous.

She welcomes him in and has to tell him her "rules". I get it. She has been single for so long, and she has kids, and there have to be some rules in place for them to keep things somewhat normal for them. But it's his first morning there, and he is greeted with no special breakfast with any of his favorite foods, even though she has the means... she wants him to have what SHE normally has. She wants him to get whipped in for HER routine. It's all about her. Then he sees that the house has chocolate, "ohhh, chocolate," he says. And immediately she says, "No chocolate! No! Like he is a child. It's his new home. You want to make him feel like it's his home and he can do what he wants. He is a grown-ass man; why can't he have chocolate? This was weird to me. Why does she give a rat's ass about him having a piece of chocolate? Even if she doesn't eat chocolate in the morning or at all doesn't mean he has to be the kind of person who doesn't. She needs to allow him to be his own person, and it starts with little things like allowing him to eat chocolate whenever he chooses! lol

Then, I'm going to show you how to make the bed, she says. OK, fine, she has a certain way she likes the bed. But he sleeps there now. She tells him she likes everything tight and tucked, and Edward, in a moment of playing around, which is what they should be doing in a new, young relationship, says, "Why are we doing this when we are just going to dive into it later and make a mess?" and he jumps into the bed stopping himself, barely messing up the bed, and Marissa has a coronary. She is being so serious. He has to tighten and tuck the bed back up a bit. She has to lighten up a smidge. Ok, more than a smidge.

Then she says Let's go for a walk, it's a beautiful day and she asks him if he has socks and wants to make sure they are "clean socks". What's it to her if he wants to put back on his dirty ass socks from earlier because the day is not over and he doesn't want to waste another pair of socks that might not be that dirty at all ( I would totally put on a new pair), but I'm just saying. If he did put on a dirty pair, what would happen? Would it ruin the day? She is starting to mold into a mother figure with comments and behavior like this, and once he starts seeing her like his mommy and not his lover, that won't go away easily because I can't imagine her behavior changing. After she made that comment, did you see him give her a little face and stick his tongue out at her? ( with her back turned) I laughed.

They go on their walk, and the weather is beautiful, and she makes him "power walk," which is basically running for her, and it's like...why? Why do they HAVE to exercise right now? For one day, can they just not? Edward just arrived; it's their day to enjoy and relax. Why can't they STROLL down the gorgeous streets and take it all in while she shows him the neighborhood and tells him what is what and who is who without him being out of breath? And without her nipping at him, "Can you keep up!?" Can't they stroll down the street slowly, hand in hand, being happy they are together? What is the deal?

Wow, Shekinah. Game playing all over an unfollow on social media? Girl, get over yourself. You are all the way in England for Couples Therapy to work on your relationshit, and you want to focus on an unfollow? Who cares? Work on what you came there for and focus on you and Sarper. Be a big girl, let it go, and you can be cordial for the sake of therapy and not ruin everyone's time. Yet, I still know this is a reality show, so this is perfect for them, that Shekinah is so childish and can focus on an unfollow and wants to not only hash it out at therapy but play games at "get under her skin" about it. And I'm not a big fan of Thais, either.

I agree with Paula on some things, Thomas did NOT do that great a job prepping for her. He had ALL this time to clean out more closet space for her because she would need more room, but he ended up giving her that one little closet. They talked about getting a real bed and a dining set, and he had that dumb table, knee pillows, and no chairs. And he didn't stock the fridge that well. He did make her that sweet meal for her at the airport, even if it was weird that he brought food just for her to eat, and what was he going to do, watch? Why wouldn't he pick her up and just take her to a nice vegan restaurant so they can both enjoy?

BUT the one thing I think she is being ridiculous about is the " you will never eat meat in this apartment again." What? The guy eats meat. He is your other half. Respect that. You are vegan. He respects that. Why do YOUR preferences and wants outweigh his? It's called compromise, sweetheart. Don't deny him his dietary choices. I've been a vegetarian on and off since I was in high school ( I'm in my 40's). There was no way I was going to deny my roommate, who was either a friend, a stranger, a fiancé, or a husband, to cook and eat what pleases them in their life every day in their own home, because I'm disgusted with it. That is not fair.

There is a way to live respectfully around each other's groceries and try not to cross-contaminate when using kitchen appliances. People can have their own drawers and space in the refrigerator that doesn't touch each other's things, and if needed, have their own kitchen appliances, so when someone is using something for vegetables, you know their meat hasn't rubbed all over it. And if meat is cooking and someone hates the smell ( I can't stand the smell with certain meats), they can go for a walk or go into another room, open a window, burn a candle, and deal with it like an adult. Then, when the meat eater is done cooking and eating, he/she can swiftly clean and air out the kitchen/house. I don't think Paula should deny Thomas the ability to make and eat meat in his own house for the rest of his life. What do you think?

Real Detective has always been my all-time favorite ID show. It's the most expensive (or was) produced show for the network, and it was filmed so well with great actors, and each episode was so heartbreaking. I remember it premiered the same night in 2016 as Evil Lives Here. In Real Detective, I think about each of those stories ALL of the time. My brother has just gotten into true crime, and of course, I want to show him Season 1 & 2 of Real Detective, so I mosey on over to Discovery+, where Season 1 & 2 should be, and only Season 2 is there. So I go to Google it and see what platforms have it. Every platform I look at, only season 2 is there. Amazon, I can only buy episodes of Season 2, Apple only has Season 2. Not this shit again. What happened! NO!!!! Why?!! Both Seasons are great, but Season 1 is my favorite. I need it. Where can I write Discovery ID Customer Service or someone who would have some answers? I'd be better off finding out who produces the show and contacting them. Any suggestions? I'm really pissed.

Just as the title asks, I've already had my cat on a harness and leash and had walked her outside, but she didn't do it very well, and she got very angry when I got her in the harness and when I had to take her back inside. So I decided to start all over from the beginning with properly training her. Please don't make fun of me, but ChatGPT put together an in-depth training guide for my cat to use a harness.

It's going pretty well, but I feel it's going too slowly. We've been training 2x a day for over a week and a half. He wants me to practice putting on the harness on my cat and have her walking around in it around the house for 3 weeks before I can take her outside, and my cat is doing well in it, and she understands that this is so we can start going outside. How long until you guys hit outside?

Seriously, after watching that segment where Jasmine hosts Thanksgiving, trying her best (and I dislike Jasmine vehemently, and I'm sticking up for her here), and Matt's Mom is being annoying and he can't help at all steer Mom away from the kitchen, he's like, "what do you want me to do?" (Tell Mom to get out of the kitchen, Jasmine's prepping, come over here and relax, Mom, tell Matilda and me about your day... just bullshit her Matt.)

Then, after dinner, Matt's mom leaves a letter for Jasmine basically saying, " I don't give you my blessing without commitment and marriage, as you are living in sin. Your clothiing selection is immodest. All of this could have been avoided if Matt had chosen a woman who shares our background. Perhaps a Romanian who understands our traditions. Thanks for Thanksgiving! With love!" Jasmine reads this to Matt. Matt, with no emotion, says yeah I agree with Mom.

You do? Then YOU ARE PART OF IT DUDE. Then YOU should have chosen a Romanian girl, or a more submissive girl. But you didn't. You chose Jasmine, and now you are trying to fit a square peg into a round hole and are putting it ALL on Jasmine to figure out. Jasmine is who she is, and you don't stick up for her in front of your Mom, 1 aota. Instead, Matt cherry picks the part about "commitment and marriage." But why should Jasmine give that part of herself to you if you are not accepting who she is as is?

Plus, he is controlling. Telling her what to wear, what is acceptable, what is not, don't wear your high heels anymore because it makes me look short. Who knows what else there is he controls; that is just what Jasmine shares. And how dare Matt's Mom complain about Jasmine's clothes? She has dialed it down so much, I feel! Everyone thinks he is so golden because he has the right disposition to "handle" someone like Jasmine. Well, does he have the right emotional depth to mesh with Jasmine? To make her happy in the long run? Or is this control going to eat at her in the long run...it already has.

All Jasmine wants to hear is realness. She wants to get married, not because they have a child together...but because they have a child together AND they are in love. And he not only won't give that to her.... he MOCKS her for it. He mocks her for wanting the love part. He wants to marry because they have a child together.

I think Matt is a jackass. Sure, he is a great Dad now, but I do worry about him later being a Girl Dad, and chipping away at her confidence.

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We see Cortney and Phil tell Colt to get the hell out of dodge, and Cortney says this is it, after this, I have to cut communication with you so I can focus on my relationship with Phil. During BTS, Sophie asks Cortney point-blank," Did you really cut off Colt?" and Cort said "Yes! I did....buuut then a month later Phil and I had a big fight, and I unblocked Colt and we were just friends and I told him to break up with Diana cause he was whining that he was miserable and so me and Elise told him to come for my birthday, I invited everyone from Hunt for Love and we were scared Diana was going to euthanize Colt because she was a veterinarian"

Colt alleges that Cortney never cut him off, and she always stayed in touch with him at least once a week and then some. Then he says she asked him and him only to come for her birthday - him and not everyone else- there was no group chat, to go to Mexico, and she emailed hotels to get deals, and says we can travel, etc. Colt says he told her, "No, I'm staying in Brazil with Diana," and that is when Cortney blocked him for "realsies."

The next thing Colt says is well, it's not really an allegation, so much as an opinion, but he says he was sad that Phil and Cortney were engaged simply because he doesn't think they are a good couple. He said Cortney is deathly afraid of losing her parents. When he said that, I could totally relate. I felt for her in that regard. But then he said that the fear of losing them stemmed from the fact that she would have no one to help her. lol. To take care of her financially anymore. (My reason is that I would miss them, lol) So he feels she ran to Phil, so she has someone to fill that void once her parents are gone. She doesn't want the worry of taking care of herself.

So do you think these things are true? Colt is a leech, a lush, a jackass, and much more, but I can see some truth to these things. I don't know. I dislike judging or saying things are true in a definite, we can only speculate. But this is the 90 Day Reddit after all. They put themselves on TV, we come here and talk about it and dissect it.

You want to make out with people because you are drunk- Quit Drinking

I'm not sure I would want her taking care of my cat. (She was a pet sitter abroad for boarding) I hate to be discriminatory, but she has admitted to so many instances of forgetfulness and her Ho phase, lol - I just imagine her getting drunk, bringing strangers back to my pad to get it on, and my poor kitty watching.

I already have a feeling Catie is using her OCD as an excuse for her behaviors, so Josh doesn't get as upset with her. I was diagnosed with OCD, and it was painful because there were things I could not help- at first. I couldn't even think of dating while I was figuring out how to navigate my life with the diagnosis in a way I could live out in the wild. I quit drinking because alcohol exacerbates OCD symptoms. I went into deep therapy and went on meds. And I didn't quit until I found the correct recovery system that worked.

Not everyone has to go this route. But she seems like she has no desire to try to quit drinking- the thing that causes her to do bad and make out with everyone. The thing that breaks their relationship. She WANTS the make-outs. Does she want it MORE than the relationship? Move on, Josh. She's not ready.