u/Ill_Comparison_9821

I’m a 40 year old woman that has created a wonderful life for herself. Frequently I am haunted and ashamed of my past. From 16-23 I allowed others and myself to abuse my body. There were reasons that I allowed this and I wish I could go back and time, make better choices and be protected and cared for by a responsible adult.

I recently had someone send me a video of me at a party between 2004-2007 and I was acting permiscuous in the video. I was appalled and ashamed. This was my fb messenger.

He thought it was funny, cool and interesting but inside I felt sad and hurt by my actions, circumstances and reputation.

This gives me poor mental health and I feel like people in my past still judge me.

I am experiencing something very horrible and it's going to make my kids hate me. My kids have different needs, one is autistic, one is defiant. Everyday I find myself screaming, shouting, repeating and saying things to them that escalate the already challenging situation.

Yesterday my youngest was climbing the wall in the hallway all the way up to the ceiling and he fell on the light switch and the lights wouldn't turn off. I screamed and shouted and went crazy. I really can't handle stress because we are in debt and fixing things cost money.

Today I picked them up on their first day of school and I was happy, looking forward to talking to them and then something happened. I told them let's go to the car and my 5 year old said no, he wanted to keep playing. I would let him play but my oldest who is autistic was panicking, crying, shouting and chasing after him because he needs to go home after being around kids all day.

My 5 year old was being defiant and was purposely not coming with us, I had to carry him into the car which got my nervous system activated negatively.

I closed the car door and let it rip. I screamed at the top of my lungs and I went crazy. I literally go nuts and go crazy. Of course this scared my children and they were hiding at home and panicking.

Mind you, earlier in the morning my husband went crazy on me when I asked him why he didn't have a job lined up yet since both kids are in school now.

I am overwhelmed, I am unhappy, my husband is defiant, my kids are challenging. I have a temper.

I chose this life. I made these decisions. I had low self esteem when I got married. I was such a good mother for my oldest. When my second was born I went downhill and continued to since then. I am not being taken care of, I am not supported, I am not meant to have this level of stress.

Today I had suicidal ideations although I'd never do it but when I think about it can feel peaceful.

I feel like I can never get my life together. I'm depressed, I'm anxious, everything feels hard and messy. Kids are out of control, my husband doesn't take accountability. I am easily distracted and there is so much to do. I feel like I want Adderall but I don't know if that would be bad for me. I've always been messy, chaotic, and disorganized. I own a business and it grosses over 130k a year but it has so much more potential for growth and I'm so scared to expand because it'll cost me more time, money, and energy. Why am I so lazy too? I come home from work and I lay on the couch for hours getting a few tasks done here and there. I am just feeling really low I think.

Hi, my husband rarely grew up smoking, but I live north of Chicago, where it was part of my youth. Unfortunately, I experimented with many drugs when I was younger, but I’ve become very responsible and strait-laced since then. I know my body and mind well, and I don’t drink and drive, barely drink at all, smoke cigarettes, or do drugs—no pills, no anxiety meds, nothing. I’m very sensitive to things and in tune with my body.

Recently, I was gifted a joint from a legal store from a close friend. I was hesitant to accept it, but parenting has been hard for me, and I felt like maybe I wanted to experience it again after 10 years. My husband was excited about trying it with me, and we had the best sex of our lives for two nights straight. We were incredibly attracted to each other on a level I can’t describe. It was crazy and insane, especially since I’m usually pretty prude and stiff.

This time we were gifted a different brand, we had sex, and my husband suddenly stopped and thought he was dying. His legs were shaking, he couldn’t drink water, and he was asking me to take him to the hospital. Our kids were asleep, and I wasn’t in the right state of mind to make those decisions. I didn’t want to endanger myself or my children, so I assumed he had a panic attack because he felt like he was choking and was vomiting intensely. It was crazy, and I didn’t take him to the hospital, but he called his friend repeatedly, who wouldn’t wake up. So, he continued to feel like he was dying all night, vomiting, freaking out. I tried to splash water on him, get him to drink hydration water, and even give him a peppercorn. I was completely focused on him and his breathing, his body.

So, what was his problem? Do you think he was having an actual panic attack?

Hi there, I’ve been an esthetician since 2010. Back a few years ago, I used to be extremely booked, but now I rarely get as many bookings overnight. Before the COVID pandemic, I would wake up to multiple bookings every morning. However, I must mention that I relocated my business from a highly trafficked area with a great location to a smaller neighboring city that requires people to take two highways. Fortunately, I had a substantial following, but I lost a significant number of bookings. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m not appearing on Google or what the issue is. It’s strange because other newer estheticians are fully booked, which is frustrating and affects my ego. Despite earning approximately $130,000 annually, this doesn’t seem like a particularly impressive salary considering my time in the industry. My friends, on the other hand, make significantly more money. I'm trying to get my retail numbers up to make more money and create better systems.

My 7-year-old son is autistic, and today was really hard.

We were at a festival where kids can go inside giant inflatable balls on the water. He was so excited, and I had already bought the tickets. As they were getting him ready, the staff told him to cover his ears because of the increase in air pressure.

My son is currently on medication for an ear infection because of a scab on his eardrum. I panicked because I was worried he’d take his hands off his ears during the inflation, and I didn’t want to risk hurting his ear. I told him he couldn’t do it.

He had a huge meltdown, scratching and clawing my face, pulling my shirt, screaming, and crying. He’s nonverbal at times, and everyone was staring. I ended up walking away in tears.

My husband later let him go in anyway, and now I’m wondering if I let my anxiety get the best of me or if my concerns were valid. I just feel embarrassed and defeated—not because of my son, but because of people judging a situation they don’t understand.

I’m just sitting in my basement crying.

Hi there, I have two boys under the age of seven. Over the past few years, I’ve become increasingly miserable towards my kids. I feel chronically unhappy, constantly frustrated with them, and I find myself screaming, yelling, and telling them they’re terrible. I just want to rip my hair out. What on earth is wrong with me? I feel like everything is catching up to me, and I’m just so incredibly miserable. I loved being a mother in the beginning but now I'm just sad and hateful.

When I had my first baby, I was the kind of mother I had always hoped to be. Then my second son was born in February 2021. Around the same time, my husband was emotionally abusive, and my oldest, who was only 2 years old, began showing signs of autism. The stress became overwhelming, and a therapist started me on sertraline. I came off the medication in 2024.

Now my boys are 7 and 5. My oldest has autism and ADHD, and my youngest has ADHD and ODD. They are incredibly sensitive, but they can also be very oppositional. They refuse to go to school, fight constantly, scream, yell, break things, beg relentlessly, and sometimes tell me they hate me. The list goes on.

I miss the mom I used to be—the mom I wanted to be. I rarely smile anymore. I’m constantly anxious, overwhelmed, and agitated. I find myself yelling far more than I’d like, and I feel miserable. I love my boys more than anything, but parenting through these challenges has been the hardest thing I’ve ever experienced, and some days I barely recognize myself.

We have some good moments but I’m generally really bitchy and triggered. I go places and see kids with no conditions just sit in their chair. They aren’t wiggling around but just coloring- my kids are always pacing, thrashing on things, running around, slamming doors, jumping off furniture or standing on furniture.

Hi, I have a 35 degree rotating spinal curvature and I always look at people’s backs. Last year my son was playing in the backyard and I noticed his curve. I must admit, I got panicked and made him an appointment to be diagnosed. 6 months have passed and I’ve been in deep research but it’s progressing. Doctor said no x rays until 10. I found scoliosis care centers in CA and OK and they use a standing MRI. We live in Madison WI, some of the best hospitals in the country but I don’t want to diagnose for surgery. I want to move into finding the root cause and moving into therapy and bracing. Any information is helpful.

16 years in, over a thousand clients and hundreds on repeat. I feel dead inside. Husband don’t want to help with bills, divorce is is beyond reach financially, I’m burned out, mortgage, bills, debt. I recently stayed late for a client (was done at 2, stayed until 4:30, she messaged saying won’t make it until 5:15). My friend texted me asking me what’s up, I replied to my client coming in instead of friend bitching about it. It really sucked and the problem is me- I’m carrying a lot of invisible weight and I have kids, should’ve been home with my family at 2 enjoying my afternoon, instead I crossed my own boundaries. Anyhow, that client cancelled her future appointment. Basically I’m just done. I’m 41, getting old, tired, burned out, not happy. Nothing I can do right now.