u/Imjustababiokay

Do it. It’s better

I’m 22F proud of myself for finally cutting of my situation ship 21M. He was so so attractive. I’ve never been so attracted to someone before. His personality wasn’t really there tho- he was pretty un curious, hard to make conversation with, and blissfully unaware of his own awkwardness. I wanted to make it work tho bc I thought he just needed time to open up. And he was starting to, but when it came down to it, he said he didn’t want to commit bc he doesn’t feel sparks witj me

I feel upset but also relief at not having anxiety over whether he likes me or not. Hed give mixed signals. One day pulling me in so close and holding me and opening up to me, giving tons of kisses, the next no text for days.

Well I finally said goodbye and blocked him on everuthing after a couple months of this. But now it’s been a week.. and I miss having a dick appointment each week. He was so attractive thays the main thing I liked about him. I wish I could’ve done casual but when I have sex witj someone especially raw how we were for months I can’t NOT have feelings I can’t not be jealous at the thought of them getting witj someone else I can’t NOT want them to cuddle me and like me as a person and genuinely care about me.

Now im here on a day we’d almost always hang out and spend the night together. Feeling lonely missing his Abs and biceps and the cuddles and kisses. Wishing my stupid heart didjt ruin it. Now I have no one. I know I coukd get another hot guy in my bed if I wanted to but then the same thing would just happen all over again. And plus.. they wouldn’t be him. I just keep feeling like I’ll never have attraction for someone like that again. And I keep feeling like he didn’t like me bc he thought he could do better looks wise I don’t know I know I am definitely good looking too but he didn’t feel sparks yet wanted to stay friends bc of my personality so what else am I to tjink ? (We’re not staying friends) :(

How can I cope with this

Y’all moving or staying in slo after grad I feel like a chud

Ok for some background, 22F I started seeing this guy 21M in February. I expected fboy vibes but from the start he wanted to see me consistently, took me on some dates for me flowers etc, so I thought he had genuine feelings. I’ve never been so attracted to anyone in my life before. Hes also smart and has a ton of hobbies. He incorporated me into his life and friend group pretty early on as well and we had some great times.

After 1.5 months of this I had definitely caught feelings and asked what he saw with me. He said he really liked me but wasn’t sure enough for a big commitment, and wanted to keep his options open. Even though I was hurt and confused I stayed to try something a little more casual.

We had spring break and even saw eachother once then. Now school started again- and we hung out basically every day for 2 weeks. Since then we’ve just consistently hung out a couple times a week. Sometimes it’s just a casual sleepover, sometimes we don’t even have physical intimacy and just spend time together. He cuddles me through the whole night so tightly, makes me breakfast in the morning, and has slowly started to open up a little more emotionally with me like telling me about his future / drama etc.

So here in lies the dilemma: because we hung out so much, my feelings have persisted. Whenever we have a nice romantic night or he shows effort or opens up more, I think he is starting to change. Whenever we have a night where we just hook up and sleepover nothinf else (less effort), he appears less curious ahout me (could also be his awkwardness), he leaves me on delivered, or he doesn’t meet expectations in my head I feel let down like there isn’t something growing within him.

Here’s a titular part: I know he’s had hinge this whole time. I got it too when he first told me about the options thing. He even saw lasy week I have 400 notifications on there. I don’t check it too too much it overwhelms me a bit and I tried to date another guy but it made me like the original one more bc he was so pushy and this guy is very mellow and respectful which I really value due to my past experiences. The key here is he has not gone out witj / seen anyone else this ENTIRE time. We haven’t been using condoms I know it sounds dumb but it’s because we both are only seeing each other and he said hed tell me as soon as that changed and he is a very honest straight forward guy.

⭐️This past couple of weeks I’ve been wanting to have that conversation again to gain clarity: this time prepared to walk away. I’ve envisioned myself basically saying I like what we have and I want to continue having it without the looming fear that it will end on a random day or that you will get witj someone else. I know you said you wanted options but the lasy couple months we’ve both been seeing just each other. What if we just lock in together and give this a chance?

This week I’ve been kind of down. There was this concert I was hoping id go with him to since we were both going but he went witj his friends instead. He did want to meet up with me after so now I have his location indefinitely. My cousin said this is another sign he feels comfortable with me and might want to be with me, since he’s ok with me knowing his constant whereabouts (other signs are how he answers my calls super fast, said hed be down to do shrooms witj me, went camping with me, hasn’t gotten with anyone else). This has relieved some of my anxiety thr last few days but at the same time has me a bit sad. I see him at home not doing anything and yet the reels / snaps I send him go unopened for like 10-15 hours sometimes. Thays just His personality maybe but still. The music festival- other guys were in my dms who I don’t even know wanting to meet me there and spend time with me, complimenting me etc. and this guy who’s had a connection with me for months just wants to see me after.

What’s thrown a bit of a wrench I. Things is I checked hinge and got a match with this other guy who’s super attractive. The first guy is more my type hes similar ethnicity 6”3 super ripped thays why im so head over heals. This guy is 6”1 which is still good and somehow even more ripped, ethnicity is one im less familiar : attracted to but that’s okay. He seems like more of a quirky type maybe even a bit cringe to me from his insta. BUT he seems nice and he immediately texted me on hinge witj a date and time he wanted to see me. This firsy guy hasn’t taken me on a real date in a couple weeks. Our romantic times kind of just fall into our laps without him taking effort to plan them u know?

He wants to see me next week and I said yes. It’s during a time I usually see the first guy. He has my location thays fine I can make him jealous. The thing I don’t know is should I talk to the first guy ahout what are we and what I want before this date and see what he says bc of the possibility of him wanting to be exclusive/ give our connection a chance tbay way I don’t go on a date with someone else? Or should I go on the date first to see how it goes bc what if it’s really bad and I don’t wanna lose the first guy so I make less demands in the Convo (like I only ask for exclusivity not more effort), or if it goes really good I can be super demanding of the first guy in the convo bc I won’t be afraid of losing him at all ?

Idek what do y’all think. Sorry for the long post. I’m so done

Ok for some background, I started seeing this guy 21M in February. I expected fboy vibes but from the start he wanted to see me consistently, took me on some dates for me flowers etc, so I thought he had genuine feelings. I’ve never been so attracted to anyone in my life before. Hes also smart and has a ton of hobbies. He incorporated me into his life and friend group pretty early on as well and we had some great times.

After 1.5 months of this I had definitely caught feelings and asked what he saw with me. He said he really liked me but wasn’t sure enough for a big commitment, and wanted to keep his options open. Even though I was hurt and confused I stayed to try something a little more casual.

We had spring break and even saw eachother once then. Now school started again- and we hung out basically every day for 2 weeks. Since then we’ve just consistently hung out a couple times a week. Sometimes it’s just a casual sleepover, sometimes we don’t even have physical intimacy and just spend time together. He cuddles me through the whole night so tightly, makes me breakfast in the morning, and has slowly started to open up a little more emotionally with me like telling me about his future / drama etc.

So here in lies the dilemma: because we hung out so much, my feelings have persisted. Whenever we have a nice romantic night or he shows effort or opens up more, I think he is starting to change. Whenever we have a night where we just hook up and sleepover nothinf else (less effort), he appears less curious ahout me (could also be his awkwardness), he leaves me on delivered, or he doesn’t meet expectations in my head I feel let down like there isn’t something growing within him.

Here’s a titular part: I know he’s had hinge this whole time. I got it too when he first told me about the options thing. He even saw lasy week I have 400 notifications on there. I don’t check it too too much it overwhelms me a bit and I tried to date another guy but it made me like the original one more bc he was so pushy and this guy is very mellow and respectful which I really value due to my past experiences. The key here is he has not gone out witj / seen anyone else this ENTIRE time. We haven’t been using condoms I know it sounds dumb but it’s because we both are only seeing each other and he said hed tell me as soon as that changed and he is a very honest straight forward guy.

⭐️This past couple of weeks I’ve been wanting to have that conversation again to gain clarity: this time prepared to walk away. I’ve envisioned myself basically saying I like what we have and I want to continue having it without the looming fear that it will end on a random day or that you will get witj someone else. I know you said you wanted options but the lasy couple months we’ve both been seeing just each other. What if we just lock in together and give this a chance?

This week I’ve been kind of down. There was this concert I was hoping id go with him to since we were both going but he went witj his friends instead. He did want to meet up with me after so now I have his location indefinitely. My cousin said this is another sign he feels comfortable with me and might want to be with me, since he’s ok with me knowing his constant whereabouts (other signs are how he answers my calls super fast, said hed be down to do shrooms witj me, went camping with me, hasn’t gotten with anyone else). This has relieved some of my anxiety thr last few days but at the same time has me a bit sad. I see him at home not doing anything and yet the reels / snaps I send him go unopened for like 10-15 hours sometimes. Thays just His personality maybe but still. The music festival- other guys were in my dms who I don’t even know wanting to meet me there and spend time with me, complimenting me etc. and this guy who’s had a connection with me for months just wants to see me after.

What’s thrown a bit of a wrench I. Things is I checked hinge and got a match with this other guy who’s super attractive. The first guy is more my type hes similar ethnicity 6”3 super ripped thays why im so head over heals. This guy is 6”1 which is still good and somehow even more ripped, ethnicity is one im less familiar : attracted to but that’s okay. He seems like more of a quirky type maybe even a bit cringe to me from his insta. BUT he seems nice and he immediately texted me on hinge witj a date and time he wanted to see me. This firsy guy hasn’t taken me on a real date in a couple weeks. Our romantic times kind of just fall into our laps without him taking effort to plan them u know?

He wants to see me next week and I said yes. It’s during a time I usually see the first guy. He has my location thays fine I can make him jealous. The thing I don’t know is should I talk to the first guy ahout what are we and what I want before this date and see what he says bc of the possibility of him wanting to be exclusive/ give our connection a chance tbay way I don’t go on a date with someone else? Or should I go on the date first to see how it goes bc what if it’s really bad and I don’t wanna lose the first guy so I make less demands in the Convo (like I only ask for exclusivity not more effort), or if it goes really good I can be super demanding of the first guy in the convo bc I won’t be afraid of losing him at all ?

Idek what do y’all think. Sorry for the long post. I’m so done