u/Impossible_Yard7838

28-jarige Product Owner (GenAI) in finance, 100k bruto + 13e maand.

1. PERSOONLIJKE INFO
   • Leeftijd: 28
   • Opleiding: WO (MSc Computational Intelligence)
   • Werkervaring: ~4 jaar (waarvan 3+ jaar in finance)
   • Burgerlijke staat: relatie
   • Kinderen: 0
2. WERKGEVER
   • Sector/Industrie: Finance / Banking
   • Aantal werknemers: 40k
   • Multinational?: Ja
   • Beursgenoteerd bedrijf?: Nee
3. FUNCTIE
   • Functietitel: Product Owner (Generative
   • Senioriteit: Medior Tech Lead / Product Owner rol)
   • Werkuren per week: 40
   • Gemiddelde werkuren per week inclusief overwerken: ~40
   • kantooruren + veel thuiswerken
   • Vakantiedagen per jaar: 23
   • Opleidingsmogelijkheden: Ja (veel ruimte voor certificeringen en conferenties)
   • Verantwoordelijk voor personeel: Ja (Tech Lead voor team van 6 data scientists en engineers)
4. SALARIS
   • Brutosalaris per maand: ±8333 (100k bruto per jaar)
   • Nettosalaris per maand: ±5000
   • 13e maand?: Ja
   • NS Business Card
   • Andere extra’s: Pensioenregeling is 15%
5. WOON-WERKVERKEER
   • Thuiswerkdagen: 2-3 dagen per week
6. OVERIGE
   • Kan altijd zonder stress vakantie boeken
   • Hoe stressvol is je werk? Null stress.
   • Hoe leuk vind je je baan? 8.5. Ik werk met cutting-edge GenAI (multi-agent systemen, Azure OpenAI, PydanticAI), leid een eigen initiatief.

Ik zit nu op 100k bruto op mijn 28e met relatief weinig ervaring. Hoe ziet de salarisprogressie er verder uit in Nederland voor senior data scientists / AI Product Owners in de finance?

Zijn er mensen die vergelijkbare rollen hebben bij Big Tech, consultancy of andere banken? Hoeveel kun je realistisch groeien naar 120-150k+?

Ook benieuwd naar ervaringen met switchen naar het bedrijfsleven buiten finance (minder regeldruk, maar mogelijk minder zekerheid).

My LO used to like a lot of things, I have not spoken with her or even seen a picture of her for over 2 years. However today I saw a book from Stefan Zweig, her favorite author and I just got hit with this extremely desperate feeling again, all the stories and fantasies my mind conjured up came back to me for hours before they slowly went away. I just feel so sad and scared that they will never go away. I'm only 28 and feel I can recover still, however the fact that it hits me this hard so now and then is just unbearable, any advice to deal with this or how to stop these thoughts when they start?

Four years ago, at 24, I matched with a Chinese girl on a dating app and instantly developed an insane crush. But when we actually talked, she seemed boring and I figured the cultural differences were too big, so I moved on and started dating other people.

A year later, I kept seeing her Instagram stories and became obsessed with how beautiful and fun her life looked. I convinced myself I had missed a massive opportunity. I even started dating one of her acquaintances (who was also very attractive), I matched with that girl on a dating app by accident, partly to stay close to my LO and maybe replace her. That relationship became extremely toxic and on-and-off, fueled by my obsession.

When I heard my LO had a boyfriend (who my girlfriend called an “ugly loser”), I had a full breakdown, panic, dread, and this overwhelming feeling that I was living in the wrong reality. I spent months fantasizing about what I “should have done” differently. This whole mess got tangled with my porn addiction and a strong fetish I developed for Asian women which I feel extremely ashamed off...

That relationship finally ended painfully when I was 26. I moved, started healing, and thought I was over it.
Now at 28, I have a great new girlfriend, we bought a house together, and life is objectively good. But with the stress of a new job and big life changes, the limerence has come back stronger than ever. I keep feeling like I’m trapped in a nightmare while the fantasy version of her is perfect. It hits hardest when I’m alone or with my current girlfriend. Only running or being around friends seems to quiet it down.

I haven’t looked at her pictures in years and I start therapy in 20 days, but the thoughts are making it hard to get through the day. I genuinely wish I had never matched with her or added her on Instagram.

Has anyone else dealt with limerence this stubborn? How do you break the fantasy when your brain keeps telling you that you missed “the one”?

Any advice is welcome.